When God Says "No"

Over the past 6 years my friends and I have had this running joke that God wouldn’t let me leave the state for more than 7 days at a time. This spring He said yes to me for a trip to Italy. There is something awesome about getting what we want, but what about the times we don’t get what we want? God is still good. He still has a plan. He knows all things past, all things current, and knows all things of the future. He knows all. When we are told “no” we seem to revert back to our two year old selves and throw a mini-tantrum. God has a plan that I do not yet understand.

Ok, maybe not everyone; but I know I do. This is a problem, because in essence I am saying I think my plan is better than God’s. God knows what is best for me (and you). He has a specific plan for us and some things, sadly, just do not fit into His plan.

Although He has given me many yeses, there are still so many things where I am getting a big fat no. Some of them I understand and some of them I have been left in the dark. He is opening up some doors and quickly closing others, all-the-while leaving some slightly cracked. Originally I thought I was graduating in December; nope, there is more school to be done. Thought I would be taking another short trip overseas for the summer; nope, there is work to be done. Thought I would be doing this, that, or the other and so many things have changed (but stayed the same) in such a short amount of time. This time last year I had a completely different major with my current goal and vision. Now I am studying in a different department, learning completely different things and around drastically different people than before. God has a plan.

Sometimes I feel like God leads us in certain directions to test our faith and trust in Him. For instance, this year everything seemed to be working out perfectly for me to go overseas for 10 days with the university’s Study Abroad program. Then, things changed. God allowed things to work out everything perfectly until He told me no. He has me right where He wants me, and for whatever reason that is here … where I am currently writing this from – my job. He has given me a job, in the most unique of ways, and has allowed me to work with students from all over the world. He has also given me some of my best friends through this job. His plan is sweet and lined with good things (that doesn’t mean we always get what we want or that things are always going to be hunky-dorey either).

I don’t always get what I want. I didn’t marry that guy or get to date that other one I “liked sooo much”. If I did, my life would look quite different. I didn’t get to graduate within 4 years of starting college. If I would have, I wouldn’t be working here and most likely not even have the job I have now. I didn’t get to leave the country every time I wanted to or take the trips I wanted to take. If I would have, I would be in much more debt (let’s be serious, travelling is expensive – don’t let that stop… please travel! So much out there is just waiting to be seen). I didn’t get that job I applied for in Hawaii. There are so many things I have been told “no” on, but there are so many good things that have happened because I was told “no”.

God’s plan is so much better than my own and I miss that at times. When I am turned down for things it doesn’t mean I need to stop trying, it means I need to find where I should be trying. My efforts are not wasted, they are learning opportunities for what is to come in life. Our parents, grandparents, and elders didn’t become wise overnight. No! They lived, they learned, they were told no and had to figure things out. Don’t give up on God when you don’t get your way, ask where you missed the turn or where to go next. Sometimes our “GPS” needs to recalculate.

Trust God’s plan even when you don’t understand. That is something I have been trying to learn over the past 6 (almost 7 …) years. We have to surrender our own plans for the plans of the One who knows better.

I'm Being Followed ...

I think I'm being followed...
Nakeli, a good friend/co-worker has a theory about me: where ever I go I find someone I know, am connected to, or make friends with anyone near. I pretty much laugh it off because I have lived in the same town for almost 24 years. So knowing, what seems like to my friend, a majority of the population is understandable. See this theory is becoming "fact," so my friend says. Then I started thinking about it a little more this past week. When I hopped on the plane headed for Rome I thought, "surely I won't know anyone other than my friend who lives in Italy." boy was I wrong. On the flight to Toronto the lady that sat next to me turned out to be from my home town. Not just that, she works at ASU in a department our office works with quite frequently. I was stunned ... Then I thought, "whew! That won't happen again the rest of the time I am gone. Who could impossibly run into in Italy?" 

On Wednesday I headed out to Rome on my own. I went to the Colosseum on an English guided tour. I started chatting with the others going through the same tour. They were a sweet couple from Scotland who enjoyed traveling through Europe on holiday. I spent a majority of the day with them and enjoyed every little bit. The next day Janelle and I are leaving the Vatican when we hear, "Bailey!" we turn around and it's the Scottish couple from the day before. Janelle laughed and said, "your friend is right, can't take you anywhere." I was still half in shock that it happened at all. 

Stepping back to Wednesday for a moment, when I was out I stopped and had lunch at this little restaurant facing the Vittorini building. When I finished lunch the waiter asked me where I was from and I replied. A table over a Taiwanese lady heard me say Arkansas. She turned around and asked me more specifically where in Arkansas. She then told me she has family in Little Rock. 

I got on the plane to head back from Rome and thought I was in the clear, it had been a few days since I met anyone with Arkansas connections or anyone who recognized me. When I sat down in the plane from Switzerland to New Jersey I started chatting with the girl next to me. Low and behold she is from Arkansas. I started laughing before she asked me where I was from and then felt the need to explain. I can imagine she was weirded out by "this would prove my friend's theory" laughter. She laughed after I explained. 

Then I got to the airport in Newark, while I was waiting on my flight a guy sits down 3 seats to my left. I looked, because of my minor ADD, it was a student from ASU that I have spoken with on several occasions. As we boarded the plane I noticed a history professor from ASU as well.

I think I am being followed by Arkansas ... 

Then again

Maybe I am just chatty...

Surely that is what it is, I am a chatty Cathy. I have no problem with that, I learned from the Nigerian lady on the metro that I look friendly. Maybe that is what it is. So I am admitting defeat and beginning to believe my friend's theory (proved fact) ... Just don't expect me to run for office or anything. 

Oh! By the way, our flight attendant looked like Oprah. Her name tag even says "Oprah."

Welcome to my life. 

Nigerian on the Metro

Janelle and I were headed into Rome on Thursday. While we were waiting for the metro to get to the station a lady approached us to ask if we speak English. We told her yes and she let out a huge sigh of relief; she physically looked as if weights had been lifted off her shoulders. She was so excited to find English speakers that it was a joy to speak English. She told us she is from Nigeria and she traveled to Italy to find work. She is horribly homesick and misses her husband and children. She was accuse fly on the wrong metro and didn't know how to get back in the right direction. She began to just talk talk talk on the way to her stop. 

To be honest I can't even tell you her name, but God used her to remind me even when we are obedient to His will and His way things will not always be easy. Honestly I have no idea where she stands spiritually but God likes to remind me of things in the neatest little ways. My desire is to move overseas and share the gospel, He has out this in my heart. Meeting that woman reminded me that leaving everything behind and moving half way around the world is not an easy task. She doesn't speak the language and is struggling in learning and picking it up. She seems to be trying so very hard to make it and not be discouraged. These are the same challenges I will someday, soon, be facing. He doesn't let everything be easy because He wants us to rely on Him. That is what this woman was having to do, rely on something/someone other than herself. She literally relied on two complete strangers to help her. It was such a blessing to be able to be there and give her an (English) outlet. 

Let me back up for a second, when she approached us and realized we spoke English she told us she only approached us because we look friendly. If you know me you know I could talk to a brick wall if I thought it would talk back, basically I love people. This was such a huge compliment, Janelle and I looked friendly, approachable, that is just what she did - she took a leap of faith and approached us for help. I forget how important it is to just appear friendly and loving and approachable. God uses even the simplest things to execute His will. He used Janelle and I to provide the slightest bit of relief to this woman. She walked away with higher spirits than the day before and seemed more confident to conquer the day. Yay for being where God wants us when He wants us there! We don't have to worry if God is going to put us where He wants us, because if we are being obedient (and even in times we are not being so obedient) He has us right where He wants us. Hopefully this thought will stick with me for the rest of this year (2012- not just the school year). This is something I struggle struggle with greatly, wanting to be somewhere else... Somewhere "better."

A Little Taste of Italy...

Wow! Let me tell you that God has blessed me immensely with loving family, great friends, and good food (hehe) ... well and safe travels of course. As I look through my own pictures I can't help but ask myself if that is really me posing in front of this or that building. "Am I really here," the question that kept playing through my mind. Before leaving to get on the plane people asked me if I was excited to go. That was hard for me to answer, not because I didn't want to go but because it didn't quite seem real. It seemed as if I was living someone else's life doing things someone else would do. But this has been my dream since I was little. I think I was 6 years old when someone asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. I told them I wanted to go to other countries and help people. Which is what I am on the path to do currently. Cultures, languages, religions, people, and history all fascinate me. Being in Rome where the history and culture is so thick is, well, almost unreal. My life still goes on day-by-day. I walk, eat, sleep, and breathe just like I would in Arkansas. Only, I'm not in Arkansas ... I'm nowhere near my family or closest friends. Yet, I don't feel very far way either.  It is the strangest feeling to have. This is my life, this is how I am supposed to live; off in some other country where I may or may not know the people I go to live amongst.

There is so much to be told about the 6 days I have spent in Rome and I will write about them, slowly, and tell you not only what I did and saw but what I learned from the culture, language, religion, people, and history. If I wrote it all at once you wouldn't want to read it; trust me, it would be really long. Just know this, everything (practically) that I have done since being here is new to me. So these posts will not be labelled like the rest of the "31 Day March" challenge but everyday has been something new and exciting.

I will tell you this, before I venture into posting and updating and whatnot, God continues to show me how much He loves me (not just me but this is my blog and what God is showing me so that is what I am sharing with you). He has provided constant protection, safe travels, lovely people, interesting situations, cultural sensitivity training (yes, even God reminds me to be sensitive to other cultures), and well... more than I can think of right now. There will not be a quiz or a test over this so don't feel like you have to read this or ask me about what I have been writing. There are so many things out there to see and do that I don't expect you to be part of every little thing I have done. Go, live your life!

This has probably been the biggest lesson of all. We only have one life to live, so why not start living it now.

31 Day March - Days 9-14

Days 9-14 ... My bad

What's new this week?
-Tejas. I drove to Texas, alone
-Barn dance (non-dance) and hungout with people I barely knew ... also rode in the backseat of my own car.
-Was a judge at the men's bake off at church. Yes, this means I got to try all of the cakes and cookies... yes I did!
-Worked out twice in one day
-Went to a local park to do homework

How is this new?
- Texas is a new place for me. I had not entered the state of Texas, ever until Friday. I also ate at a Whataburger. It was good!
- I had never danced in a barn before, and technically still haven't. But, I went to a "barn dance" and had to leave before the dancing started. There were mechanical bull rides, horse back riding, carriage rides, and BBQ. Later was barn dancing but our group headed out before that started. That is ok! We ended up going to a mini-fire with s'mores. So yumtastic! It was at someone's house I didn't know and I ended up having a great time. (I was skeptical and didn't want to go because I didn't know half the people that were going to be there... I am so glad I went). On the way out to hang out and eat s'mores I made my friend drive my car. So for the first time I rode in the back seat of my own car. It makes me feel more like a girl to not have to drive all the time. That may be silly, but it is true.
-As a fundraiser for the youth group, our church does an annual men's bake off. This year I was asked to be a judge. As you know, from other posts, I like food. So this made me ecstatic. Plus all the cakes were good great!
-I go to zumba 2-4 times a week. Well this time I went to 2 different zumba classes in one day 1 hour apart from one another. So I finished one and ate dinner and then went to the next zumba class. I thought I was going to vomit ... so yeah, food and working out too close together is a bad idea.
-Usually when I do homework I go to a local bookstore of coffee shop. Today was soooo nice that I just had to get out and do something. So I did. As I was sitting there reading for British Novel a couple walked by and the girl said to her boyfriend or man or whoever he was, "I want to come out here and read. That looks so chill." I started laughing when she said that. It was really relaxing and nice.

Why this?
- Hello, it's Texas! I have always wanted to go to Texas and have never had a chance to go, so on Friday I got in my car after work and drove to Texarkana. (Pictures below)
- Why not?! Really, I love dancing and any opportunity to do so is one I will jump on quickly. But we didn't dance there, we actually ended up doing random dances at our s'mores host house. That was way more fun and way less dirty than a barn.
- I got to eat cake, nothing more needs to be said.
- Honestly, I was desperate for a "new thing" ... also, did you see the one right above this? I ate a lot of cake.
- It was friggin awesome outside.

Is this something that will be continued?
- Random road trips and mental vacations are phenomenal.
- Yes, I will continue meeting new people and going to dance things. Most of my friends know how overly social I am and they also know I really reeeaallly like dancing.
- Well, I probably will not get to judge it too often. I would do it again.
- Working out, yes. Working out twice in one day, not unless I have to lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time.
- YES!!

Are there any negatives to this?
- Yes. Traveling alone can be dangerous if you are not careful. Also, thinking too much can be dangerous to your mental/emotional health. Luckily the drive there was great because all I did was listen to music and was able to just not think for 4 hours. It was fantastic. The trip back is a bit different. I started thinking a little too much and ended up praying the rest of the way back about pretty much anything that came to mind. It was good and God gave me a sweet opportunity to just go. Love it!
- Cow pies... well horse pies because there were no cows. As long as you didn't step in those you were fine.
- Diabetes, I think this was developed this on Sunday.
- Death, which is what I felt like.
- Can't think of many. Well unless I get stung by bugs. Other than that all good.

Things I learned from my trip to Texas...
You may not be able to judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a bathroom based on the outer appearance of the establishment.

Sign: "Underage drinking and driving; zero tolerance!" - Who knew if you are of age drinking and driving is tolerated?!


Pictures

 

 

31 Day March - Days 7 and 8

Day-7-8 Oooopppsssyy!

What's new today?
Day 7- Had dinner with someone I don't really know. Well I didn't know her very well but I know her a little better now :)

Day 8- Went to a haunted location in Jonesboro...

How is this new?
I enjoy people. God made each person unique for a reason and I love getting to experience that in others. So it was new because she is someone I don't didn't know very well. So it is new because she was new for me to get to know.

I don't like scary things so for me to go to Kellers Chapel was a big step in my spontaneity. 

Why this?
Because I love people!

No idea... but I was glad I had a friend with me. Makes things like that easier.

Is this something that will be continued?
YES!! Getting to know people is precious to me and I hope to keep doing it as long as the Lord allows.

Only if there is a dude with me. No way I could do that without a guy. ... heck no techno not alone.

Are there any negatives to this?
Getting to know people? No ... not that I know of, well unless one of them kills me and then I get to see Jesus. Haha!

Yes, being scared to my wits end... NEGATIVO

Super excited about tomorrows!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to share it with you :)

31 day March - Day 6

Day-6

What's new today?
Today I quit, gave up, or whatever you want to call it on the raw food thing. Yes, I am a quitter.

Also, I had a really bad day, but that is relative to what we each call bad. For me, it was a bad day. So I started writing out what was bothering me or why it was bad and wrote out what could be done to fix it so I am not sulking.

How is this new?
I usually try not to give up on things, especially small things like changing my diet. However, everything seemed so ridiculously overwhelming today so I needed normal and decided to go back to normal. Also realized it probably means I have very little self-control when it comes to food and need to work on that. (Sadly means I may have self-control issues in other areas... like my alarm clock ... that need to be worked on).

When things seem to be bad I usually pray about them, this helped me organize out how to pray and what to pray about specifically. It really reminded me I am not in control, God is the ultimate controller of the universe.

Why this?
Comfort food, when having a bad day comfort food really does comfort. Like I said, I have food issues to work through.

Well, it really helped me work through issues to write things down. Not going to lie, I had 1 page front and back, small print, of what was bothering me and what caused the issues along with how it could be fixed. With each thing I saw that although I made a mistake of not calling this person or not having this ready or out or done, I could not be in control of how others handled the situation. My responsibility is myself. My actions today were far from where they should be, but like I said I saw a lot of things in my life where I had to surrender not being in control. He knew what was going to happen before I ever made the mistakes.

Is this something that will be continued?
Quitting, I hope not. I don't want to be a quitter unless I am quitting bad habits. Not sure what habits I have that are "bad" but there are so many things in my life that need to be worked on, like most people.

Yes, this really seemed to help today. It is also now in my journal so I can look back in a year or so and see how juvenile my "problems" were. :)  This also showed me I don't need to beat myself up as much as I do, things can be worked out and dealt with and I just need to sit down and work through them. Beating myself up will get me no where except more upset.

Are there any negatives to this?
Quitting, heck yes there are... Please don't make me tell you why. I hope you know why quitting has negatives.

Not really, well unless I lose my journal and it ends up in the wrong hands. Then I might be having some interesting conversations. However, it helped me see that each situation was something that could be avoided (well in most cases) and what I could do in the future to avoid those.



God has really been good to me and has begun showing me more of Him through this month. Super thankful for my friends who have encouraged me lately (even today ...). God has truly blessed me with great friends. - Random add on, this is true but I am truly grateful.