When God Says "No"

Over the past 6 years my friends and I have had this running joke that God wouldn’t let me leave the state for more than 7 days at a time. This spring He said yes to me for a trip to Italy. There is something awesome about getting what we want, but what about the times we don’t get what we want? God is still good. He still has a plan. He knows all things past, all things current, and knows all things of the future. He knows all. When we are told “no” we seem to revert back to our two year old selves and throw a mini-tantrum. God has a plan that I do not yet understand.

Ok, maybe not everyone; but I know I do. This is a problem, because in essence I am saying I think my plan is better than God’s. God knows what is best for me (and you). He has a specific plan for us and some things, sadly, just do not fit into His plan.

Although He has given me many yeses, there are still so many things where I am getting a big fat no. Some of them I understand and some of them I have been left in the dark. He is opening up some doors and quickly closing others, all-the-while leaving some slightly cracked. Originally I thought I was graduating in December; nope, there is more school to be done. Thought I would be taking another short trip overseas for the summer; nope, there is work to be done. Thought I would be doing this, that, or the other and so many things have changed (but stayed the same) in such a short amount of time. This time last year I had a completely different major with my current goal and vision. Now I am studying in a different department, learning completely different things and around drastically different people than before. God has a plan.

Sometimes I feel like God leads us in certain directions to test our faith and trust in Him. For instance, this year everything seemed to be working out perfectly for me to go overseas for 10 days with the university’s Study Abroad program. Then, things changed. God allowed things to work out everything perfectly until He told me no. He has me right where He wants me, and for whatever reason that is here … where I am currently writing this from – my job. He has given me a job, in the most unique of ways, and has allowed me to work with students from all over the world. He has also given me some of my best friends through this job. His plan is sweet and lined with good things (that doesn’t mean we always get what we want or that things are always going to be hunky-dorey either).

I don’t always get what I want. I didn’t marry that guy or get to date that other one I “liked sooo much”. If I did, my life would look quite different. I didn’t get to graduate within 4 years of starting college. If I would have, I wouldn’t be working here and most likely not even have the job I have now. I didn’t get to leave the country every time I wanted to or take the trips I wanted to take. If I would have, I would be in much more debt (let’s be serious, travelling is expensive – don’t let that stop… please travel! So much out there is just waiting to be seen). I didn’t get that job I applied for in Hawaii. There are so many things I have been told “no” on, but there are so many good things that have happened because I was told “no”.

God’s plan is so much better than my own and I miss that at times. When I am turned down for things it doesn’t mean I need to stop trying, it means I need to find where I should be trying. My efforts are not wasted, they are learning opportunities for what is to come in life. Our parents, grandparents, and elders didn’t become wise overnight. No! They lived, they learned, they were told no and had to figure things out. Don’t give up on God when you don’t get your way, ask where you missed the turn or where to go next. Sometimes our “GPS” needs to recalculate.

Trust God’s plan even when you don’t understand. That is something I have been trying to learn over the past 6 (almost 7 …) years. We have to surrender our own plans for the plans of the One who knows better.

Trivial Pursuit

As women we crave to be loved, cared for, held, and valued. We want to be told we are pretty and we want to feel pretty when we are around men. God made us to be different from men for a reason. Women have the role or responsibility to respond to men. Men have the role or responsibility to initiate to women (talking about initiating relationships here). God gave all things a particular order for a reason. To be honest, as a single and rather independent woman I have problems with His order occasionally. And yes, by occasionally I mean usually. I am in the trade of heart breaking, you see. Not the hearts of men, but rather my own heart over and over and over again. Sadly it is a repeating cycle, many times the poor man is unsuspecting and has no idea that I am taking a hammer with a pretty little picture of his face on it and shattering my own heart. Why do I do this? Well, not for fun… that is for sure. This is because I am going outside of God’s designed order and trying to create my own. I am basically saying that waiting for God’s best is taking to long and well, I’ll take that one. Then I realize I have made a mistake and not obeyed Christ and have, once again, shattered my own heart. I am left to pick up the pieces and bring them back to God and with tear filled eyes am begging Him to glue my heart back together.

When I go outside of God’s designed order I mess everything up, not that God cannot bless it, but because it is not what He has intended for me. (Mind you, He is not shocked that I am doing this … He knows all things and knows that I am a major screw up). God made men to want to be the leader. He made them to be the head of the household. When we as women go and try to lead, even by asking a man out on a date, it screws the whole thing up. I have used the excuse, “how will he know I like him back if I don’t show him in some way?” Well, asking him out is not the way to do that … that is for darn sure! When we put the metaphorical “pants” on in that relationship the guy begins to feel as if they are no longer needed as the leader and they fall in to passivity. That is not the way things were intended to be.   

“You see when God created male and female He created an object lesson a parable as it where of His entire redemptive plan. Manhood and womanhood, gender, sex, marriage all of those are mini lessons that proclaim the gospel. And when we talk about seeing Christ in the Old Testament we see Christ even in His creation of who He created us to be as male and female. The reason history started with God creating a man and a woman and a marriage, the reason it started with a man, a woman, and a marriage is because it is going to end with a man, a woman, and a marriage. That’s why! It will end when Christ the bridegroom is united with His bride the church and the two become one. This marriage will be consummated throughout eternity. That’s why we have male and female, it’s not about me, it’s not about my husband, and it’s not about you as men and women. It’s about displaying a story. We tell a story by virtue of how we live our lives as men and women.”

 - Mary Kassian, the Gospel Coalition, the Feminist Mistake.

There is much more to God’s design then us as women not being allowed to ask a man out on a date or take control of the relationship. God designed it to be a representation of Christ and the love He has for His bride. Honestly, everything comes back to the gospel so this should come as no surprise that marriage is a picture of the gospel. Christ loved the church so much that He was willing to lay His life down for her. When your boyfriend or fiancé or husband thinks that you might be in danger, what do they do? They run to the rescue no matter the cost, even if it may cost them their life. They love you enough to lay their life down for you. It is the gospel.

“We tell the story of the gospel with who we are as male and female. We uphold the gospel and that’s why it matters. … That is why gender is at the epicenter of the battle right now. Because if Satan can mar the image of male and female, what he is maring and what he is obscuring and what he is twisting is the story of the gospel and the display of the gospel.”

 - Mary Kassian, the Gospel Coalition, the Feminist Mistake

Does that not shake you up, even just a little? “If Satan can mar the image of male and female, what he is maring and what he is obscuring and what he is twisting is the story of the gospel and the display of the gospel.” There have been many times I have been so curious to know how a guy feels about me that I have wanted to scream and I have wanted to march right up to the man and say, “what the heck is going on here?” or even “what the heck are we?” Yet, I forget somehow if he likes me and if it is what God has planned, God will tell that guy we need to have a conversation and we need to figure things out. Now, I am not saying that we should be pulled around like little puppies on a string forever not knowing and being allowed to be led on, but I am saying if we trivialize what God has set up then we are messing with the whole process. God has set up the gender roles for a reason, even if we don’t like them. The grass is always greener on the other side.

This makes me think about every time I have liked a guy, and then have had my little heart crushed (unsuspected by him) when I find out he doesn’t like me back, or he has another girl in mind that he would like to pursue. There is nothing wrong with liking a member of the opposite sex, but when we take that and turn it into something far more we open ourselves up to heartbreak. When we do not let men be men we are taking away from what God has designed. Here is another personal example (no names used here). I have had many guy friends over the years. During college I can name and count the guys I have had crushes on and how I ended up breaking my own heart when they trusted me with the secret of who they were praying to pursue or finding out I am not the apple of this or that guy’s eye. Yeah, not an easy thing to deal with, but there are more than I want to mention and most of those guys don’t even know that they are “those” guys. When we try to take matters into our own hands and ignore the council given to us, God allows us to fall down. Even though we fall down, He is right there to pick us back up. He does not want us to trivialize the pursuit He has put in place. He sought us out and wants the men to seek us out as well.

Let men be men and let them be the ones to pursue. I write this mainly as a reminder to myself but also to those who are always wishing that this guy or that guy would like them or want to be their boyfriend or what not. It all pretty much boils down to contentment. When we are not content in where God has us we are much less likely to trust Him. When we do not trust Him we are trusting in something else, most likely ourselves. This means that we have made ourselves our own god. Let me tell you, we are not very good gods, that is why God is God. All of that to say, when we do not trust God and we trust ourselves we do what we want to get a result, even if it is not the one we want. In my case (in the past) I wanted to know so badly if this or that guy liked me so I would have other guy friends find out who that guy liked (this would be after months of being agonized by liking whoever the guy was). Yeah, it would come as a huge shock when it wasn’t me. Sometimes I would pray for months that God would show me how the guy felt, when I found out it wasn’t the same as me … well you get the point. God has a specific plan and when we try to make our own plan and ignore His, we get hurt.

Are you content or are you trying to make things happen for yourself?

Unique Childlike Faith

Tonight was a very interesting night, one that I hope doesn't leave my memory. God has reminded me that children are such a precious gift. Each child is different. They are creative in their own ways, communicate in their own ways, talented in their own ways, show love and affection in their own ways, and have unique needs. I also continue to notice that children are drawn to me like a magnet to a refrigerator door. There are two children in particular that I absolutely adore and cherish. They brighten up my day (or night) by simply seeing them. For being four and two years old they are both very bright and very ... very funny!

The local home school group put on a Thanksgiving feast and talent show tonight. My mentor or disciple leader or personal Yoda or whatever you would like to call her invited me to tag along with her and the fam. Two of her children were performing as well as other children from the church. Her two daughters and a friend from church sang a song written by the eldest of the two daughters. The song, you might be wondering is titled "Me and My Bunnies." It is hilarious! (If you would like to view the hilarity please click here ... I highly recommend watching). Earlier in the show one of the classes performed. It was the Hands Praise Class (could have butcherd the name, if so I apologize), this class teaches children sign language to praise songs. One of the little boys in the class is autistic. He is in the Sunday school class I help with and so I am particularly biased to things that he does. As I sat and watched him go through this song I cried. No idea why, but I did. Like a big baby I cried as I watched him with the biggest smile do the motions to a song praising Christ our King.

Watching him and thinking back to him with that big ole' smile makes me think of the verse encouraging us to have the faith of a child. There is nothing like watching an autistic child who trusts his parents fully and locks eyes with his mother the entire time he is on stage. He grinned from ear to ear, more so than anyone I have ever seen. He watched her wanting to make sure he was doing what she was reminding him to do. He didn't want to lose sight of what she was showing him, he was trying to mimic her exact motions. That is child-like faith, trusting everything your Father shows you and wanting to mimic everything He does. Just like this little boy and his mother, she knew that he would not be able to get everything 100% correct but he gave it all he had and he smiled the entire time. God, our Father, has a purpose for us and gives us instruction. He made us, therefore He knows we are going to screw up. He does not expect us to do things 100% accurate, He loves us and wants us to trust Him. He wants us to have faith like a child trusting his mother to provide instruction. He wants us to be happy where He has us. He loves us enough to provide instruction and to give us grace when we fail. I will be the first to admit I am a failure, but I am a failure for Jesus. At the end of the day I can say, "at least I tried." Even if I fail, I can look back and ask myself if I have done all things for the glory of God. If I failed but did it trying to glorify God, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that He was glorified. This little boy was giving all he had trusting his mother and reminded me just how much I need to follow his example. I want to be so reliant upon God that I am looking only to Him for instruction, not caring if I get everything right but just trying to do what He wants with a big silly grin on my face.

He made me cry, but not in a bad way. He made me cry in a way that makes me thank God. This little boy is "near and dear to my heart," as we say here in the South. One of his favorite things to shout during Sunday school for an answer (to any question really) is "obey God!" He says it with such gusto and excitement I can't help but smile when he says it, he is such a Jesus lover! He shows such unique childlike faith. Usually when you see kids who trust their parents it is encouraging but when I watch him I see who I want to be as a child of the King. So I thank God for little Zeke and his trusting heart. It makes me want to get down on my knees and beg God to someday make me a parent that is worth trusting and worth looking up to in Him. I want to be so focused on the Lord that when my children lean on me and look to me and follow me they are leaning on, looking to, and following Christ ... not me. Zeke makes me want to be a better parent to children I don't even have. I truly thank God for Zeke and his ability as 1st/2nd grader to push others to Christ. His family is truly blessed with such a great example of childlike faith.

Unmasked Blessings

To be honest, I just love blessings in disguise … well when I can unmask them that is. Today the co-worker I usually go eat with couldn’t do lunch as usual so I went to lunch alone. But the great thing was I spent some unexpected time with God. Something that was much needed seeing as how I didn’t get a chance to spend time with Him this morning. Anyway, done rambling about that, when I was eating I started to read the Proverb of the day and was blessed by that and brought light to some things in my own life. Then I wanted to read a Psalm, so I went to Psalm 100. When I was there I saw that I had made a note in my Bible that sent me to Ezekiel 34. It was like a little treasure map, but a treasure that I didn’t know I was looking for. It turned out to be exactly what I needed to read. As soon as I read it I wanted to share it with anyone reading this.

“For thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I, I Myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out. As a shepherd seeks out his flock when he is among his sheep that have been scattered, so will I seek out My sheep, and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness. And I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries, and will bring them into their own land. And I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, by the ravines, and in all the inhabited places of the country. I will feed them with good pasture, and on the mountain heights of Israel shall be their grazing land. There they shall lie down in good grazing land, and on rich pasture they shall feed on the mountains of Israel. I Myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I Myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord GOD. I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy.”
- Ezekiel 34:11-16

One thing I used to do when I would send encouraging notes to my friends was take a section of scripture and just use it as a guide to encourage them. I want to do that because it is such a sweet passage of scripture.

For thus says the Lord God:
How often do we just stop and realize that these are the words of God? We recognize the red letters in the New Testament as coming from the mouth of Christ, but here… here it says “Thus says the Lord God.” Wow, how I miss that far too often. It makes me think of earlier in Ezekiel 33:30 “Come, and hear what the word is that comes from the Lord”. We are invited to hear and examine the words of the Lord. How precious!

Behold, I, I Myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out. As a shepherd seeks out his flock when he is among his sheep that have been scattered, so will I seek out My sheep, and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness.
God has sought us out. If we are His He searched for us. He pursued us and sought us out as a shepherd searches for one of his sheep when they wander out. It says that He will rescue us from the places we have been scattered. The day of clouds and thick darkness… that is a scary place to be, but He is there to rescue us. Ezekiel 33:30 sounds a whole lot better now, does it not. The Lord Himself has just told us that when we are scattered about, in the midst of a trial or a hard time, He is there. “I, I Myself…” The Lord Himself seeks us out. That excites me to no end and just makes me want to jump for joy. But there is more.

And I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries, and will bring them into their own land. And I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, by the ravines, and in all the inhabited places of the country. I will feed them with good pasture, and on the mountain heights of Israel shall be their grazing land. There they shall lie down in good grazing land, and on rich pasture they shall feed on the mountains of Israel. I Myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I Myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord GOD.
Our God, the God of the universe is going to bring His people out of other countries and into His land (our land). God promises to feed us. He promises to take care of us. More than any man could even take care of us. He is the ultimate provider. We, as girls, desire to have a man take care of us and provide for our needs. God promises to do that. Philippians 4:19 says “And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Oh my gosh, that makes me excited! God. The God of the universe, you know, the One who created all things … He WANTS to take care of us and provide for us. In Ezekiel He tells us that He will provide food for us by the ravines and the mountains. He will give us a place to lie down. So we get to eat and sleep at peace with Him. He does not go back on His promises. Psalm 23:1 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” That says it all. He is our Shepherd, the good Shepherd. The more you read in Psalm 23 the more encouraging it gets. He tells us that we get to rest, He leads us, He restores us, we have no fear with Him, He comforts us, He provides for us, He anoints us, He overflows what we need; He is such a good Shepherd. He again reminds us in vs 15 of Ezekiel 34 that He will make us lie down. He will make us rest in Him. Sometimes we run ourselves ragged, He didn’t tell us to do that, we did that on our own. But He makes us lie down and rest in Him. He wants good things for His children. Just like we read in Matthew 7 and Luke 11 we are reminded that our own fathers give us good things, but our heavenly Father gives us so much more and such better gifts than even our earthly fathers do. Our heavenly Father knows what we need before we ever ask, He just wants us to ask for it. He provides in times we do not know what we need. He is such a good God!

I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy.
He seeks out the lost. People come to Christ all the time, but our Lord and Savior is seeking out the lost and He is drawing them into Himself. It is nothing we could have ever done. Our salvation is not merely based on what we do, it is Him working in us and through us and through our brothers and sisters. We can do nothing without Him. He is going to bring the strayed back to himself. He is going to bind up the wounded. Psalm 34:18 says “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” He wants to bind up the injured. He wants to heal us when our hearts are broken. He wants to draw us into Himself. He says He is going to strengthen the weak. II Corinthians 12:9 says, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’” Ok, so there is so much to unpack in that verse but I want to just look at the last half, “My power is made perfect in weakness.” He is our strength. There are a ton of verses that tell us how powerful our God is and a ton of verses that tell us He uses the weak to do crazy awesome things. But here is the thing, Moses didn’t think he was doing anything crazy awesome at the time. Neither did Noah or Paul or Abraham. Even the women that we look at as being great women of the faith: Ruth, Ester, Abigail, Mary … These women knew they were working for the King, yet they did not know that in their state of imperfection and weakness God was making them into strong women that we would be looking up to. His power is made perfect in our weakness. It is ok to be weak, God is the biggest, badest, strongest being ever! He cannot be defeated and cannot be shaken. He is the supreme ruler of the universe. He formed you in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). He chose you before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4). He loves the weak and comforts them and gives them strength but the fat and the strong He will destroy. They do not seek Him for provisions or for strength. God wants us to rely on Him. He wants us to look to Him for all of our needs, wants, and desires. He is the greatest thing since sliced bread (well, He is way better)!

Our God loves us and wants us to find our satisfaction in Him. “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost,” (Luke 19:10). He wants to bring us to Himself, He is drawing us closer and asking us to let Him be everything we want and need. He can fill us up to overflowing; “because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:5b). We cannot fill ourselves up with love, He pours His love into our hearts using the Holy Spirit whom He gave to us. It is not about us at all. It is all about Him, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the unglodly.” (Romans 5:6) … “but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8). Did you catch that? We were sought out by God because we were lost. If we are saved we were once sought out. But here is the kicker, Ezekiel 34:11-16 tells us He continues to seek us out when we mess up or when we stray or when we lose our way. He at the right time sent Christ to die for our sin. Not just your sin but mine and everyone you know and don’t know and everyone in between … yes, even the person you cannot stand to be in the same room with, Christ died for their sin because they have just as much importance and value as you do in His eyes. Christ loves us so much He died for us and then rose again to prove to the world that nothing is too much for God to deal with. Our God is a powerful God.

Sweet Surrender

Written: April 24, 2009

For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.... Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. Philemon 1:7,20

I am seeing how fellowship is used for spriritual growth and how sharing things with our brothers and sisters in Christ helps us so much more than we could know (or admit). So I thought I would share this with you guys.

Last semester a sweet friend of mine shared a conviction of hers with me that I basically wrote off as something just for her. The more I thought about it and prayed about it, the more I saw that it was not just for her, it was for all. My convictions are greater in this area now as well and thought you guys might be blessed in this also.

What started the conviction in my friend was the playing of secular music at evangelical meetings. Her heart was set on not having that type of music played there. The arguements made here were "we are to become all things to all men" yet the other side of that arguement was "God needs nothing added to attract people to Him." What to do in this case...
My thoughts (and I believe my friend would agree with me) on this are we really should not have to add anything to draw people in to hear God's word. Yes, we are to become all things to all men. However, Jesus did not become a drunkard to the drunkards nor did He become a gambler to those who gamble. So why should we conform to the world "Therefore I urge you, brehtern, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:1-2

A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael (by Elisabeth Elliot)
Pg 126
"Saral came one day with an idea for drawing the women to hear the Gospel. She would teach them to knit with some pink wool she had been given, "and they will love me more and like to listen when I talk about Jesus."
Amy could not say yes to that. She explained that the Gospel needed no such frills. It is the power of God for salvation. Saral protested that there was nothing in the Bible which bore upon pink wool and knitting needles. Indeed there was-- Zechariah 4:6 'Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.' There was no need for tricks which might open houses-- houses were open. No need for methods of helping to humanize and fill bare and empty lives-- 'these women have a full day's work.' To try to help God with pink fancywork was, she felt, plain unbelief."

If it is not pushing us closer to God then it is pushing us away from Him....no matter what we think, it is pulling us away. So in thinking, praying, and searching the scriptures I have found that it is not for me to listen to any more. Psalm 1:1-3 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers. What seperates us as Christians from those who do not follow Christ?

What in our lives seperate us from others? Are we walking in the same counsel as the world or of Christ?

Music
Movies
TV
Attitude
Speech (the things you say)
Actions
Clothing
Books (the things you read)

Our delight should be in the law of the Lord and not in the world. We should be meditating on God's law day and night. By doing this we will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water yielding its fruit in season...and whatever we do it will prosper. Honestly, I want things to prosper in my life and my bet is that you want yours to do the same. For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish. Psalm 1:6 If we truly understood how great God is and what He did/does/will always do then we would not spend so much time, energy, and money on things that do not matter. We would spend more time worshipping and rejoicing to God with reverence and trembling (Ps. 2:11), we would spend more time evangelizing and fellowshipping and seving as we have been called to do so.

May God bless you!