I have a friend that is roughly 30 years older than me. He has been one of my favorite people growing up through our school system (he was one of our School Resource Officers). Last spring he was in a really bad car accident and lost part of his left leg, from the knee down. He had to stop working a job he loved - as a detective - and lay around having people help him all day long. He hated it, he would try to find excuses to get out of bed, but found it very difficult to get around on just the one leg. His life changed drastically. The things that were so easy and so natural for him, they were some of the most difficult tasks to manage.
One day I went to a different grocery store than usual. I just felt like I needed to go somewhere different. I wasn't having a very good day and I didn't want to see anyone I knew. As I was walking out of the grocery store I kept hearing my name called. When I finally turned around I saw him. My eyes lit up and I ran over to my old friend. He was missing part of his leg and I was able to stick around and hear his story. He told me all of his plans for that day when he would get a prosthetic leg. He told me how he was planning on training for a 5K, then a 10K, and then a half marathon. He was so hopeful and so eager and so excited. Seeing him completely changed my attitude and my outlook for the day.
Today as I was on my way home for lunch I drove past the hospital. There he was! He was walking... with two legs! He was walking with such ease. He was making the block and trying to get used to this new addition to his body.
I forget how convenient it is to have two legs. How wonderful it is to be independent of constant care and having to keep crutches near by just in case I want to get up and get food or go to the bathroom. It is something I take for granted. We don't realize how fortunate we are to be able to do what we need to, when we want to, and get there by our own two legs.
He has so much hope for the future with his new prosthetic leg. He has so much training left to do, starting with walking around the hospital. He has two legs again and he is most hopeful that he will be better than he was before. His plans exceed what his life looked like prior to his accident.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Daddy's Little Hippie
I love my dad. He is probably my favorite guy in the whole world (said in an adorable little 4 year old voice). He is pretty great, let's just be real. One of the jokes my dad and I have is that I am a hippie. He really enjoys referring to me as his little hippie. Sure, I don't shower as often as the average American, I like my hair being long and wavy, I wear flowers in my hair, I would go barefoot more often if I could, I use cloth shopping bags when I go to the grocery store, I recycle when I can (and have been sad because the waste management people do not bring enough recycle bags for our apartment complex), I bought a bike this summer to start riding to work/school to save on gas, and ... well the list goes on further. At first I was a little offended by being referred to as a hippie, but the more I thought about it the more I realized I'm not the 1960's type of hippie. So I am far more accepting of being "daddy's little hippie".
I like the idea of Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. It is not just throwing things in a blue bag and sitting it next to the dumpster, it is much more than that. It is taking better care of what we already have. This weekend I was talking with a friend about our generations lack of concern for what we have. The sense of stewardship among our generation is severely lacking. If we have something and we break it, no worries... we can buy a new one. What was even more disturbing is what my friend said to me. She was telling me that people younger than us up to their early 30's seem to have a lack in stewardship for not just their own things but others as well. Example: you allow someone to borrow something. They don't take care of it as you would like and it breaks. Then they give it back in many more pieces than when you lent it to them. They do not seem as concerned about the situation as you or I may be. What has happened to our stewardship? What has happened to our concern for other people or even ourselves?
One thing I have begun thinking ... well the hippie approach to thinking... we have been so trained and so conditioned to think that it is not a big deal and we can just go out and buy another (insert item). I'm not suggesting that anytime something breaks we should have a fit and begin mourning it like a lost family member or friend. That is a little excessive. We shouldn't even be mad at the person (or ourselves) for breaking whatever it is that is now broken. We should, however, take care of what we have and what others have been so kind as to allow us to use. What better way to "stick it to the man" (I'm a hippie... don't judge) than reusing something until we absolutely have no way of getting around getting a new whatever. Why do we really need two of this or that item? Why do we feel the compulsion to spend money on things we don't really need? Can I blame this on being raised int he land of the free? Because, I really want to do that. We seem to think that spending is no big deal. Being an American, we have been raised around an endless supply of whatever we have. We have been taught that limited supply does not, in fact, mean limited. Companies tell us things are "limited" so we will run out and buy them. Then it runs out but comes back two weeks later. Marketing has tricked us into thinking everything is limitless. We forget that things really are temporary.
We were allowed to use planet Earth short term as our home. We keep our homes clean and want people to feel at home in our homes. Shouldn't we keep our planet clean? Shouldn't we care enough to take care of what we have? We only have a limited time on Earth. It may feel like for-ev-er (said in a 16 year old valley girl accent). Our forever is not, in reality, forever. We are a tiny speck in the grand scheme of things. If we take care of what we have, we leave a better future for those coming after us for as long as the Lord allows. When a friend allows you to stay in their home, do you trash what is not yours? Or, do you take better care of it because you want them to let you use it again?
Taking small steps to make our "home" better makes this "home" better for our children's children's children... If the Lord allows things to go on that long or longer.
So, I am not ashamed I use cloth shopping bags. I am not ashamed I am trying to be better at riding my bike to work. I am not ashamed I don't shower as often as others do (that actually has nothing to do with conserving water... I'm just not ashamed of my lack of showering... too far? Too far...).
I like the idea of Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. It is not just throwing things in a blue bag and sitting it next to the dumpster, it is much more than that. It is taking better care of what we already have. This weekend I was talking with a friend about our generations lack of concern for what we have. The sense of stewardship among our generation is severely lacking. If we have something and we break it, no worries... we can buy a new one. What was even more disturbing is what my friend said to me. She was telling me that people younger than us up to their early 30's seem to have a lack in stewardship for not just their own things but others as well. Example: you allow someone to borrow something. They don't take care of it as you would like and it breaks. Then they give it back in many more pieces than when you lent it to them. They do not seem as concerned about the situation as you or I may be. What has happened to our stewardship? What has happened to our concern for other people or even ourselves?
One thing I have begun thinking ... well the hippie approach to thinking... we have been so trained and so conditioned to think that it is not a big deal and we can just go out and buy another (insert item). I'm not suggesting that anytime something breaks we should have a fit and begin mourning it like a lost family member or friend. That is a little excessive. We shouldn't even be mad at the person (or ourselves) for breaking whatever it is that is now broken. We should, however, take care of what we have and what others have been so kind as to allow us to use. What better way to "stick it to the man" (I'm a hippie... don't judge) than reusing something until we absolutely have no way of getting around getting a new whatever. Why do we really need two of this or that item? Why do we feel the compulsion to spend money on things we don't really need? Can I blame this on being raised int he land of the free? Because, I really want to do that. We seem to think that spending is no big deal. Being an American, we have been raised around an endless supply of whatever we have. We have been taught that limited supply does not, in fact, mean limited. Companies tell us things are "limited" so we will run out and buy them. Then it runs out but comes back two weeks later. Marketing has tricked us into thinking everything is limitless. We forget that things really are temporary.
We were allowed to use planet Earth short term as our home. We keep our homes clean and want people to feel at home in our homes. Shouldn't we keep our planet clean? Shouldn't we care enough to take care of what we have? We only have a limited time on Earth. It may feel like for-ev-er (said in a 16 year old valley girl accent). Our forever is not, in reality, forever. We are a tiny speck in the grand scheme of things. If we take care of what we have, we leave a better future for those coming after us for as long as the Lord allows. When a friend allows you to stay in their home, do you trash what is not yours? Or, do you take better care of it because you want them to let you use it again?
Taking small steps to make our "home" better makes this "home" better for our children's children's children... If the Lord allows things to go on that long or longer.
So, I am not ashamed I use cloth shopping bags. I am not ashamed I am trying to be better at riding my bike to work. I am not ashamed I don't shower as often as others do (that actually has nothing to do with conserving water... I'm just not ashamed of my lack of showering... too far? Too far...).
Monday, October 15, 2012
Blonde Brain part II
Well, if you read the first post Blonde Brain Part I then you know how mentally "blonde" I really am. If you haven't... you should. It will give you a little insight to my craziness. Here are a few recent stories about my Blonde Brain.
Redbox Amnesia
One Friday night I was not feeling very well so I decided to rent a movie, order a pizza, and eat junk food all while laying on my couch. So I ordered my pizza, set up a little station near my couch, and headed out to the Redbox down the street. After perusing the available movies I choose "The Lorax" and "What to Expect When You're Expecting". I paid for the movies. Grabbed a movie, hopped in my car and began driving away. A friend text me and I told them what I was doing and I realized I rented two movies and walked away with one. I was half way to my apartment by this time. I turned around and went back to find my movie was no where to be found. The Redbox showed the movie was not there and the movie wasn't laying on the ground. My only thought was that someone had taken the movie I had paid for. I was hoping whoever the person was would return it in a day and I wouldn't be charged $35 for a movie I still haven't seen. So what did I do? I called the Redbox company. The lady who answered, Amy, was very sweet. I told her what happened and she said the movie was sucked back into the Redbox because it was there for an extended period of time... the best part was I wouldn't be charged for the movie. WOOHOO!!
I'm No Carpenter
Two days later my dad was going to come over and help me hang things up in my apartment. I have lived there for 4-41/2 months and there was nothing on the walls ... sad, but very true, story. I asked my personal Yoda's husband for a drill, which he so graciously let me borrow. My dad came over and began asking me where I wanted things hung up and what tools I had to do the job. -- Have I mentioned that I am in no way shape or form good at making anything look "pretty" when it comes to interior design? Also, I own zero tools and barely know how to use a screw driver. -- So my dad began measuring for me (he had to use a seamstress measure because that is all I own) and we had determined to go get tools from his house after we had measured where I wanted things hung up. I stood there and pretended I knew what he was talking about as he told me what he was doing. He asked me if I had a level. Then he asked me if I had a hammer. Then if I had other things. I looked at him and said, "do I look like I have any of those things? Hello, I assumed the drill bit that was in the drill is what was used for everything!" He laughed at me and began putting his shoes on, that was my cue for us to go to his house and get the appropriate tools for the job. Let's just say I am really glad I did not attempt that on my own. That would be an absolute disaster...
Spunky the Mouse in the Dean B. Ellis Library and Zoo
Almost every night during the week I study with my Chinese friend, Sophia, and my Korean friend, Kate. Last week Sophia and I were sitting in the third floor when we saw this little mouse run by us. We named him Spunky, Spunky the Mouse. We decided we would catch him and release him back into the wild (outside the library). So I crumbled up some of my cookies and made a trail from where he was hiding to an empty trash can we had laid on its side. We went back to doing our homework and Kate joined us for awhile. We told her of sweet little Spunky the mouse and our plan. Kate headed down to a lower level to work on some things and Sophia and I went back to homework. Every now and then we would look up in hopes of seeing Spunky. I noticed he had run into the men's bathroom and was sad because I knew I couldn't go in there and catch him. A librarian walked by soon after we made the discovery of Spunky in the men's bathroom (that is how we knew he was a he). I told the librarian about the mouse being in the men's bathroom. The librarian looked dazed and simply said: "in my 30 years of working here I have never had this as an issue." He continued standing there staring at me. He proceeded to walk into the men's bathroom. We knew he found Spunky when we heard a loud "STOMP!" Sophia and I blame ourselves for the vicious murder of Spunky the Mouse. We miss Spunky.
We picked up the school's newspaper today and noticed an article Library Mouse Stirs Students.
Redbox Amnesia
One Friday night I was not feeling very well so I decided to rent a movie, order a pizza, and eat junk food all while laying on my couch. So I ordered my pizza, set up a little station near my couch, and headed out to the Redbox down the street. After perusing the available movies I choose "The Lorax" and "What to Expect When You're Expecting". I paid for the movies. Grabbed a movie, hopped in my car and began driving away. A friend text me and I told them what I was doing and I realized I rented two movies and walked away with one. I was half way to my apartment by this time. I turned around and went back to find my movie was no where to be found. The Redbox showed the movie was not there and the movie wasn't laying on the ground. My only thought was that someone had taken the movie I had paid for. I was hoping whoever the person was would return it in a day and I wouldn't be charged $35 for a movie I still haven't seen. So what did I do? I called the Redbox company. The lady who answered, Amy, was very sweet. I told her what happened and she said the movie was sucked back into the Redbox because it was there for an extended period of time... the best part was I wouldn't be charged for the movie. WOOHOO!!
I'm No Carpenter
Two days later my dad was going to come over and help me hang things up in my apartment. I have lived there for 4-41/2 months and there was nothing on the walls ... sad, but very true, story. I asked my personal Yoda's husband for a drill, which he so graciously let me borrow. My dad came over and began asking me where I wanted things hung up and what tools I had to do the job. -- Have I mentioned that I am in no way shape or form good at making anything look "pretty" when it comes to interior design? Also, I own zero tools and barely know how to use a screw driver. -- So my dad began measuring for me (he had to use a seamstress measure because that is all I own) and we had determined to go get tools from his house after we had measured where I wanted things hung up. I stood there and pretended I knew what he was talking about as he told me what he was doing. He asked me if I had a level. Then he asked me if I had a hammer. Then if I had other things. I looked at him and said, "do I look like I have any of those things? Hello, I assumed the drill bit that was in the drill is what was used for everything!" He laughed at me and began putting his shoes on, that was my cue for us to go to his house and get the appropriate tools for the job. Let's just say I am really glad I did not attempt that on my own. That would be an absolute disaster...
Spunky the Mouse in the Dean B. Ellis Library and Zoo
Almost every night during the week I study with my Chinese friend, Sophia, and my Korean friend, Kate. Last week Sophia and I were sitting in the third floor when we saw this little mouse run by us. We named him Spunky, Spunky the Mouse. We decided we would catch him and release him back into the wild (outside the library). So I crumbled up some of my cookies and made a trail from where he was hiding to an empty trash can we had laid on its side. We went back to doing our homework and Kate joined us for awhile. We told her of sweet little Spunky the mouse and our plan. Kate headed down to a lower level to work on some things and Sophia and I went back to homework. Every now and then we would look up in hopes of seeing Spunky. I noticed he had run into the men's bathroom and was sad because I knew I couldn't go in there and catch him. A librarian walked by soon after we made the discovery of Spunky in the men's bathroom (that is how we knew he was a he). I told the librarian about the mouse being in the men's bathroom. The librarian looked dazed and simply said: "in my 30 years of working here I have never had this as an issue." He continued standing there staring at me. He proceeded to walk into the men's bathroom. We knew he found Spunky when we heard a loud "STOMP!" Sophia and I blame ourselves for the vicious murder of Spunky the Mouse. We miss Spunky.
We picked up the school's newspaper today and noticed an article Library Mouse Stirs Students.
Monday, October 8, 2012
The Action in Waiting
Lately my heart has had this gnawing feeling. It is a feeling that I cannot shake, nor do I want to. It is that constant desire to leave everything that I know and everything that is comfortable and go to a new place. A place where nothing is familiar except the scenes from pictures I have looked at and movies I have watched. It is a feeling that I want to go to a place where everyone and everything is new. My heart beats a little faster and my mind wanders at the simple mention of a new place. What would it be like there? Who would I meet? What new things would I try? What are the names of the streets I might walk upon?
Home is not my home. When I leave town I always feel like I am going home. When I am coming back I feel like I am a stranger in a sea of familiar faces. I am more comfortable in a crowd of strangers than in a group of the familiars I have known for so long.
Then, as if God is audibly speaking to me I hear, "Not now my child. That time shall come. Be patient. Look where I have you. Be here. Live here. Love here. Wait for me. Do not get ahead of yourself." It is the words of a dear friend I continue to hear ringing in my mind: "God has not forgotten you. He is not skipping over you. He has a plan that will be far better than you or I could ever imagine."
As I read through scripture I am constantly reminded of the superior plans of God and the lacking plans of man. In Proverbs there are a few verses that say this explicitly.
Home is not my home. When I leave town I always feel like I am going home. When I am coming back I feel like I am a stranger in a sea of familiar faces. I am more comfortable in a crowd of strangers than in a group of the familiars I have known for so long.
Then, as if God is audibly speaking to me I hear, "Not now my child. That time shall come. Be patient. Look where I have you. Be here. Live here. Love here. Wait for me. Do not get ahead of yourself." It is the words of a dear friend I continue to hear ringing in my mind: "God has not forgotten you. He is not skipping over you. He has a plan that will be far better than you or I could ever imagine."
As I read through scripture I am constantly reminded of the superior plans of God and the lacking plans of man. In Proverbs there are a few verses that say this explicitly.
"The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD."Proverbs 16:1
"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."Proverbs 16:9
"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.Proverbs 19:21
"The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out."Proverbs 20:5
Then there are stories upon stories of how man planned things, God changed the plan, man was obedient (or disobedient in Jonah's case), and God was glorified. For so long I have had grand plans to do things, to go places, to live a certain way and now I am beginning to watch God change those plans. He has answered the many prayers I have prayed and has shown me the path to take. As for now, I sit and wait. Waiting is sometimes the hardest part.
"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"
Psalm 27:14
Psalm 27:14
"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!"
Psalm 37:7
"I waited patiently for the LORD; He inclined to me and heard my cry."
Psalm 40:1
"For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation... For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him...Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."
Psalm 62:1-8
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning."
Psalm 130:5
Psalm 130:5
Waiting is the hardest part, but what is the proverb we have heard all of our lives? Oh yeah: "Good things come to those who wait." My heart has a gnawing desire that I cannot shake. I do not want to make it go away. So for now; I wait. I only pray that I can wait patiently and wait prayerfully. Waiting doesn't mean that I am sitting around twiddling my thumbs. Waiting is full of action. It is the action to fulfill what I am to be doing here. The actions to live, love, and learn. Waiting is a willingness to be preoccupied toiling in other ways in other places until the Lord takes me to a new place.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
In Response to Todd Akin...
Hopefully by now everyone knows who Todd Akin is and what he said. If not, here is a link (this provides the information from the day of the statement as well as the events there-after his statement).
Todd Akin claimed if a woman is raped her body will not allow the reproductive organs to work, therefore not allowing her to produce children from the attack. He said that this was only true during a "legitimate" attack. He has now gone back on what he said and recognizes that this is not biologically possible, however, he actually believed this. The fact that he said this in an interview, not knowing the statistics proving him incorrect - well, that just makes him ignorant. Ignorance is not necessarily blissful when looking at it from his stand point. At least not as of late. Being ignorant of a speed limit and ignorant of our own biology, those are two completely separate things.
Today, I sent an email to two friends. Both have worked in our office at one point and time. The email had a picture of Rep. Akin and written across it read, "If you get shot, and it is a legitimate shooting...then the body has ways to automatically seal the bullet hole, kind of like Wolverine". This is ridiculous. If you didn't know, your body will not do this. You are not Wolverine. He is a fictional character. One of the two decided to post in on a social media site. This sparked a family debate (my bad...). One of the comments included: "Violent crime, rape, or otherwise isn't funny. It's sick." The person had previously said my friend was in the wrong for posting the picture and then proceeded to post the comment just mentioned. The picture is humorous because of the ridiculous thought that someone's body could "have ways to seal the bullet hole". Rep. Akin's statement was far more ridiculous than the picture posted, because he said it believing it to be true. Part of me wants to send him a biology book I used in 7th grade. That would not be loving or graceful as I wrote about 5 minutes ago.
There are thousands of women every year that are raped and a child is conceived from the violent crime that took place not just against them but in them. These women make very difficult decisions everyday in regards to this. My own account is not nearly as traumatic as living with a child as the result. To the women who have been molested, raped, etc. they do not enjoy hearing that their bodies will naturally prevent this from becoming a child, especially the ones who have had to come to terms with their rape resulting in pregnancy. Rape is not a joking matter, my friend's family member is right, rape is not funny. When people tell rape jokes or even use the word I shut down and want to push everyone that is near out of the way and hide. Thinking about women who have gone through far worse than I... my heart breaks. This is not something that should happen, but it does. All we can do is move forward as a society and help those we are around.
Be careful how you use the word rape. Be careful the jokes you let slip or the words you choose to say. You never know who is overhearing your conversation with their heart breaking inside their chest.
I am grateful Rep. Akin issued an apology and has maybe read a biology book as of late. However, as a society we are so easily side tracked by the next movement or the next "cool" thing to support. We forget that there are actually people who live with this everyday. The tsunami victims in Japan didn't just get over losing everything they had. They are still learning to cope. The Katrina victims still have the memories and the lost family members. Hurricane Isaac is coming to shore and taking a very similar path to that of Katrina. Katrina is probably still fresh on their minds, they are still living the nightmare they call their daily life. Those who lived through 9/11 still get worried when an airplane seems to be flying too low. West Side School shooting victims still get nervous when fire alarms are pulled. They are just waiting to see if someone is waiting outside with ammunition wanting to pick them off one by one. Rape victims are afraid of the dark. Afraid to walk to their cars at night even in a well lit parking lot, wondering if there is someone waiting near their car for them. Questioning the trust worthiness of every man they meet. We forget that there are actually people tied to the things we consider a hip thing to support or the next movement to follow.
Next time you decide you want to support a group or movement, find people who were affected before the group formed. Hear their stories. Weep with them. Rejoice with them. Love them. Become part of their life and never forget them. Remember that they have the scars you do not have (hopefully). Don't do it because you think it is cool. Do it for something much more than that. Rep. Akin may have slipped in what he said, do not let your actions show the same ignorance of his words.
Todd Akin claimed if a woman is raped her body will not allow the reproductive organs to work, therefore not allowing her to produce children from the attack. He said that this was only true during a "legitimate" attack. He has now gone back on what he said and recognizes that this is not biologically possible, however, he actually believed this. The fact that he said this in an interview, not knowing the statistics proving him incorrect - well, that just makes him ignorant. Ignorance is not necessarily blissful when looking at it from his stand point. At least not as of late. Being ignorant of a speed limit and ignorant of our own biology, those are two completely separate things.
Today, I sent an email to two friends. Both have worked in our office at one point and time. The email had a picture of Rep. Akin and written across it read, "If you get shot, and it is a legitimate shooting...then the body has ways to automatically seal the bullet hole, kind of like Wolverine". This is ridiculous. If you didn't know, your body will not do this. You are not Wolverine. He is a fictional character. One of the two decided to post in on a social media site. This sparked a family debate (my bad...). One of the comments included: "Violent crime, rape, or otherwise isn't funny. It's sick." The person had previously said my friend was in the wrong for posting the picture and then proceeded to post the comment just mentioned. The picture is humorous because of the ridiculous thought that someone's body could "have ways to seal the bullet hole". Rep. Akin's statement was far more ridiculous than the picture posted, because he said it believing it to be true. Part of me wants to send him a biology book I used in 7th grade. That would not be loving or graceful as I wrote about 5 minutes ago.
There are thousands of women every year that are raped and a child is conceived from the violent crime that took place not just against them but in them. These women make very difficult decisions everyday in regards to this. My own account is not nearly as traumatic as living with a child as the result. To the women who have been molested, raped, etc. they do not enjoy hearing that their bodies will naturally prevent this from becoming a child, especially the ones who have had to come to terms with their rape resulting in pregnancy. Rape is not a joking matter, my friend's family member is right, rape is not funny. When people tell rape jokes or even use the word I shut down and want to push everyone that is near out of the way and hide. Thinking about women who have gone through far worse than I... my heart breaks. This is not something that should happen, but it does. All we can do is move forward as a society and help those we are around.
Be careful how you use the word rape. Be careful the jokes you let slip or the words you choose to say. You never know who is overhearing your conversation with their heart breaking inside their chest.
I am grateful Rep. Akin issued an apology and has maybe read a biology book as of late. However, as a society we are so easily side tracked by the next movement or the next "cool" thing to support. We forget that there are actually people who live with this everyday. The tsunami victims in Japan didn't just get over losing everything they had. They are still learning to cope. The Katrina victims still have the memories and the lost family members. Hurricane Isaac is coming to shore and taking a very similar path to that of Katrina. Katrina is probably still fresh on their minds, they are still living the nightmare they call their daily life. Those who lived through 9/11 still get worried when an airplane seems to be flying too low. West Side School shooting victims still get nervous when fire alarms are pulled. They are just waiting to see if someone is waiting outside with ammunition wanting to pick them off one by one. Rape victims are afraid of the dark. Afraid to walk to their cars at night even in a well lit parking lot, wondering if there is someone waiting near their car for them. Questioning the trust worthiness of every man they meet. We forget that there are actually people tied to the things we consider a hip thing to support or the next movement to follow.
Next time you decide you want to support a group or movement, find people who were affected before the group formed. Hear their stories. Weep with them. Rejoice with them. Love them. Become part of their life and never forget them. Remember that they have the scars you do not have (hopefully). Don't do it because you think it is cool. Do it for something much more than that. Rep. Akin may have slipped in what he said, do not let your actions show the same ignorance of his words.
Graceful July
Each month I have something I want to learn about spiritually. Even when I forget to actively pursue those monthly goals, I will reflect back and see that God has so graciously taught them to me anyway. The month of July I wanted to learn about grace. I need so much grace and I need to learn to give grace far more often than I currently do.
Grace has a couple of different meanings. When I looked it up in my Bible Dictionary I read the following: "1. properly speaking, that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, charm, sweetness, loveliness; 2. good will, loving-kindness, mercy, etc; 3. the kindness of a master toward a slave." I will come back to the first part of the definition but want to look at the other two parts first.
Good Will, Loving-Kindness, Mercy
Throughout the month of July, God has shown me so much grace and has also allowed others to show me grace that is defined this way. My roommate, for example, has shown more far more good will, loving-kindness, and mercy than I will ever deserve. She has been patient with me as I figure myself out and as I work through my own craziness. She has humored me in conversations and let things go that would drive others to the crazy house. My best friends have seen and stuck with me through quite a bit of crazy this last year. They have shown me all three things that is described in this portion of grace. I have been served up an amazing group of friends truly by the grace of God.
The Lord has also shown me this type of grace. He has given me so much mercy that I do not deserve. I am sinful and have a wicked heart, yet He exercises the right to give me mercy and not smite me for sinning against Him everyday. I am amazed by the amount of grace the Lord chooses to give me even when I am not following Him as I should. Grace is not earned, it is gifted.
Kindness of a Master toward a Slave
Our "Master" - Christ - has shown us so much grace in His dealings with us. Really. There is no better "Master" to serve than the Lord our God. Typically when we (well me anyway) think of the word "master" it does not hold a positive connotation. Master usually implies someone is over you and it is not by choice. Master implies you are forced or required to do whatever is told to you by this authority figure. Yet, when examining the Lord as Master, we get to see something completely different. The Lord cares for us and has plans for us, "plans for welfare and not for evil." Not that He is going to make us all rich with material wealth. No, His plans are eternal plans. He sees far past right now. He sees well into the future and He sees well into the past. He knows all things. He does all things according to His will. We only see but a tiny glimpse of a puzzle piece in the giant puzzle of life. We only see the here and now, if we are not looking for it and living to make an impact for the Kingdom of God we miss the bigger picture. He commands us out of grace because He knows what is to come.
The word slave is a dirty word to us. To call someone a slave is ... well, it is not acceptable. Yet, we can become a slave to our job, a slave to our studies, a slave to our money, a slave to our video games, a slave to our church, a slave to (fill in the blank). What is better than being a slave to the One who came to love us unconditionally; One who has plans for our welfare and not for evil; One who knows all things, sees all things, and cares for all things. He is the Lord who gave up His only Son, why? Because He cared for us. He showed compassion, mercy, and grace on us when He sent His Son to die for our sin. It all goes back to the gospel. Being a slave to any master that is not the Lord... well it isn't worth it. "For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death." (Romans 6:20-21). Our slavery to sin is equal to that of death. Christ took that upon Himself in an act of grace and to give us a hope, a hope in Him. He is the only Master worth following.
Properly Speaking, that which Affords Joy, Pleasure, Delight, Charm, Sweetness, Loveliness
Being graceful means good will, loving-kindness, and mercy. It means the kindness of a master toward his slave. It also means properly speaking... Not just properly speaking, but speaking in a manner that "affords joy, pleasure, delight, charm, sweetness, and loveliness". Oop! Guess I have failed at that one, everyday in the past 6 months (that I can remember...maybe longer). This one seems to hold so much weight, which is why it is fitting for it to be the first definition for the word grace. What would it look like if our words, our manner of speaking, held all of these things? We could change the world! Oh wait, Christ did that. There is only one account of Christ being angry. He had righteous anger, so not the same as when someone cuts me off in traffic and I am "angry".
Christ spoke in a way that was joyful, delightful, pleasurable, charming, sweet, and lovely. He spoke kindly to the Pharisees, yet He did not let them trap Him in their questions. Just because someone is kind in their speech does not mean they have no back bone or that they have no means of protection. Christ was witty. When asked carefully crafted questions, He answered in a way that did not trap Him but also conveyed Truth. His words were joyful. He was (is) the light of the world. He spoke with pleasure. He came to save and was thankful for the opportunity and the hope it provided. He spoke with delight. He delighted (delights) in the Father and spent as much time with Him as possible, as well as spending as much time talking about Him as possible. He spoke with charm. Charm literally means pleasing or attracting. His speech was pleasing and attractive. The people were attracted to what He had to say. He spoke with sweetness. A great example of this is with the woman at the well. Although she was a Samaritan woman and He was a Jew and their people hated one another, He spoke sweetly to her and was kind to her. He loved her and revealed Himself to her. He showed her kindness that no other Jew would have thought to show her. He spoke with loveliness. He knew His purpose for being on Earth. He knew He was to be the blood sacrifice for all men. He loves His people and wants to give hope to all who want it, His words and actions reflected that.
Christ is a perfect example of grace. He exemplifies grace.
I have so much to learn in the way of grace and pretty much everything else, but the month of July has taught me so much about the grace the Lord has bestowed upon me (and the world). He has done so much and showed me so much grace I do not even know how to respond. I do know I want to be better at showing others the same grace the Lord has shown to me.
The month of August I am learning about Meaningful Words. I want to be weary of what I say. As I look back each day on what I say and how I react to things, I realize that basically crap is coming out of my mouth. I am not showing grace in my manner of speaking. Although this post is about a month late, the Lord has taught me some very interesting things about grace and about speaking Meaningful Words. I look forward to sharing what He has taught me all through August.
Grace has a couple of different meanings. When I looked it up in my Bible Dictionary I read the following: "1. properly speaking, that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, charm, sweetness, loveliness; 2. good will, loving-kindness, mercy, etc; 3. the kindness of a master toward a slave." I will come back to the first part of the definition but want to look at the other two parts first.
Good Will, Loving-Kindness, Mercy
Throughout the month of July, God has shown me so much grace and has also allowed others to show me grace that is defined this way. My roommate, for example, has shown more far more good will, loving-kindness, and mercy than I will ever deserve. She has been patient with me as I figure myself out and as I work through my own craziness. She has humored me in conversations and let things go that would drive others to the crazy house. My best friends have seen and stuck with me through quite a bit of crazy this last year. They have shown me all three things that is described in this portion of grace. I have been served up an amazing group of friends truly by the grace of God.
The Lord has also shown me this type of grace. He has given me so much mercy that I do not deserve. I am sinful and have a wicked heart, yet He exercises the right to give me mercy and not smite me for sinning against Him everyday. I am amazed by the amount of grace the Lord chooses to give me even when I am not following Him as I should. Grace is not earned, it is gifted.
Kindness of a Master toward a Slave
Our "Master" - Christ - has shown us so much grace in His dealings with us. Really. There is no better "Master" to serve than the Lord our God. Typically when we (well me anyway) think of the word "master" it does not hold a positive connotation. Master usually implies someone is over you and it is not by choice. Master implies you are forced or required to do whatever is told to you by this authority figure. Yet, when examining the Lord as Master, we get to see something completely different. The Lord cares for us and has plans for us, "plans for welfare and not for evil." Not that He is going to make us all rich with material wealth. No, His plans are eternal plans. He sees far past right now. He sees well into the future and He sees well into the past. He knows all things. He does all things according to His will. We only see but a tiny glimpse of a puzzle piece in the giant puzzle of life. We only see the here and now, if we are not looking for it and living to make an impact for the Kingdom of God we miss the bigger picture. He commands us out of grace because He knows what is to come.
The word slave is a dirty word to us. To call someone a slave is ... well, it is not acceptable. Yet, we can become a slave to our job, a slave to our studies, a slave to our money, a slave to our video games, a slave to our church, a slave to (fill in the blank). What is better than being a slave to the One who came to love us unconditionally; One who has plans for our welfare and not for evil; One who knows all things, sees all things, and cares for all things. He is the Lord who gave up His only Son, why? Because He cared for us. He showed compassion, mercy, and grace on us when He sent His Son to die for our sin. It all goes back to the gospel. Being a slave to any master that is not the Lord... well it isn't worth it. "For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death." (Romans 6:20-21). Our slavery to sin is equal to that of death. Christ took that upon Himself in an act of grace and to give us a hope, a hope in Him. He is the only Master worth following.
Properly Speaking, that which Affords Joy, Pleasure, Delight, Charm, Sweetness, Loveliness
Being graceful means good will, loving-kindness, and mercy. It means the kindness of a master toward his slave. It also means properly speaking... Not just properly speaking, but speaking in a manner that "affords joy, pleasure, delight, charm, sweetness, and loveliness". Oop! Guess I have failed at that one, everyday in the past 6 months (that I can remember...maybe longer). This one seems to hold so much weight, which is why it is fitting for it to be the first definition for the word grace. What would it look like if our words, our manner of speaking, held all of these things? We could change the world! Oh wait, Christ did that. There is only one account of Christ being angry. He had righteous anger, so not the same as when someone cuts me off in traffic and I am "angry".
Christ spoke in a way that was joyful, delightful, pleasurable, charming, sweet, and lovely. He spoke kindly to the Pharisees, yet He did not let them trap Him in their questions. Just because someone is kind in their speech does not mean they have no back bone or that they have no means of protection. Christ was witty. When asked carefully crafted questions, He answered in a way that did not trap Him but also conveyed Truth. His words were joyful. He was (is) the light of the world. He spoke with pleasure. He came to save and was thankful for the opportunity and the hope it provided. He spoke with delight. He delighted (delights) in the Father and spent as much time with Him as possible, as well as spending as much time talking about Him as possible. He spoke with charm. Charm literally means pleasing or attracting. His speech was pleasing and attractive. The people were attracted to what He had to say. He spoke with sweetness. A great example of this is with the woman at the well. Although she was a Samaritan woman and He was a Jew and their people hated one another, He spoke sweetly to her and was kind to her. He loved her and revealed Himself to her. He showed her kindness that no other Jew would have thought to show her. He spoke with loveliness. He knew His purpose for being on Earth. He knew He was to be the blood sacrifice for all men. He loves His people and wants to give hope to all who want it, His words and actions reflected that.
Christ is a perfect example of grace. He exemplifies grace.
I have so much to learn in the way of grace and pretty much everything else, but the month of July has taught me so much about the grace the Lord has bestowed upon me (and the world). He has done so much and showed me so much grace I do not even know how to respond. I do know I want to be better at showing others the same grace the Lord has shown to me.
The month of August I am learning about Meaningful Words. I want to be weary of what I say. As I look back each day on what I say and how I react to things, I realize that basically crap is coming out of my mouth. I am not showing grace in my manner of speaking. Although this post is about a month late, the Lord has taught me some very interesting things about grace and about speaking Meaningful Words. I look forward to sharing what He has taught me all through August.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Rivers and Roads
To be honest, there are a few people I have deemed worthy of the title best friend. One of which I had the pleasure of seeing off to law school this weekend. As I sit here and think about the conversations, fun, laughter (known to some as cackling), deep ponderings, and inside jokes ... I had to do what I have been dreading for weeks. I had to tell a best friend "see ya later," in more common speak "goodbye". This is not a goodbye forever, which is why I refuse to actually say the word goodbye. We are not promised tomorrow, I do not know the next time I will actually see her again; I know that I am planning to see her again. We all have grand plans and are excited to take those next steps in life (furthering education, a big move, job promotion, marriage, kids, etc.). We forget the "see you later"'s we have to say and the Rivers and Roads we put between us as we move on to that next phase of life.
This is not meant to be sad for others, or heck... even myself. I am beginning to recognize more and more the gravity of what Paul says throughout scripture. In one verse he says, "Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time." (Col. 4:5). The last half of that, "making the best use of the time" ... we are not guaranteed any specific amount of time. The Lord is literally the only One who holds the knowledge of our end. We really do not have many years on this earth. [Yes, my thoughts went this deep as I said "see you later" to a friend who lives Rivers and Roads away]. Since we have such limited time we should not waste any of that time. What am I really doing with the time God has given me?
This is something I want to consider more often with those God has placed in my life. Regardless of their social status or economic status. God has placed each one of us in each others lives for a reason. He has a plan much larger than we can see, think, or imagine. To be honest, that plan involves furthering His kingdom ... not our own.
I may be sad about having to let a best friend be hours away but I know that He has us where He wants us. Sometimes the journey to get there is much more difficult than we would like, but He does it to grow us closer to Him and to one another. He wants us to go to Him in all things (the good... the bad ... and definitely the ugly). He hears all, sees all, and knows all; even before it comes out of our mouths. He is not surprised by anything we do. God is God and I am ooohhh so thankful that I am not. He has extended my heart to yet another part of the world I didn't even imagine (and yes that is within my own state - I am as surprised as anyone else). God has us where He wants us, geographically and all. I am challenging myself and asking God to help me use my time more wisely with those He has put on my path.
This is not meant to be sad for others, or heck... even myself. I am beginning to recognize more and more the gravity of what Paul says throughout scripture. In one verse he says, "Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time." (Col. 4:5). The last half of that, "making the best use of the time" ... we are not guaranteed any specific amount of time. The Lord is literally the only One who holds the knowledge of our end. We really do not have many years on this earth. [Yes, my thoughts went this deep as I said "see you later" to a friend who lives Rivers and Roads away]. Since we have such limited time we should not waste any of that time. What am I really doing with the time God has given me?
This is something I want to consider more often with those God has placed in my life. Regardless of their social status or economic status. God has placed each one of us in each others lives for a reason. He has a plan much larger than we can see, think, or imagine. To be honest, that plan involves furthering His kingdom ... not our own.
I may be sad about having to let a best friend be hours away but I know that He has us where He wants us. Sometimes the journey to get there is much more difficult than we would like, but He does it to grow us closer to Him and to one another. He wants us to go to Him in all things (the good... the bad ... and definitely the ugly). He hears all, sees all, and knows all; even before it comes out of our mouths. He is not surprised by anything we do. God is God and I am ooohhh so thankful that I am not. He has extended my heart to yet another part of the world I didn't even imagine (and yes that is within my own state - I am as surprised as anyone else). God has us where He wants us, geographically and all. I am challenging myself and asking God to help me use my time more wisely with those He has put on my path.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Blessing to be Blessed ... ?
Everyone wants to be blessed, let's be real. But sometimes we have the misconception that we should be blessed in return. We tend to miss the fact that we shouldn't do things to bless others just so we can be blessed. We also tend to miss that by blessing others we are being blessed. If the Lord has blessed you enough to bless someone else, guess what... you have been blessed. Recently someone was telling me the Food Bank in our area was in need then I heard about another group being in need of something very similar. I sat there realizing that when I go grocery shopping next it wouldn't be too difficult to buy a couple of extra canned goods (I mean really, Kroger has a 10 for $10 deal and what does $10 really mean to me anyway?). The Food Bank does food drives during the holidays and they are successful. We think that people only need to eat during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. We forget that summer and fall people need to eat too. The Food Bank is a resource for those going through difficult times.
Although I am a "poor" college student, the Lord has blessed me with more money than someone else. There is always going to be someone who has less than I do and there is always going to be someone that has more than I do. We can be a blessing to others by simply dying to ourselves over something small. Most of the time we don't really have to give anything up to bless someone else. For some people $10 is the difference of eating a meal or not. Then again, for many others $10 is not going and getting a coffee and a muffin. Thinking about the Food Bank in our area being in need has made me realize that I over look the needs in my area far more often than I would like to realize. It has also made me look back on my own past.
My family has never been "dirt poor" but we have had our instances of difficulty. I remember times when we had an abundance, but then I remember times of just praying to get by. There were times growing up we would dig through our couches to find enough money for each of us to buy a $1 hamburger from McDonald's. We would walk to the McDonald's rather than drive because we didn't want to use more gas than we had to because the gas needed to be used for someone to get to work the next day. There were also times when nana and papa would pay for groceries. Things were not always like this, but it has taught me there are always people the Lord could use me to bless, even though I think I don't have much to bless them with. This is also a misconception, we think we have to have x number of dollars in the bank to be a financial blessing to someone. We do not have to be "rolling in the doe," so to speak, to bless someone else. If I can afford to buy my own groceries, I can afford to buy the store brand and help someone else out.
Think about someone who has blessed you, what did they do? How did you respond? Use that to think about how you could bless others.
If you are interested in helping the Food Bank or interested in finding more opportunities you can email me at bngambill@gmail.com.
Although I am a "poor" college student, the Lord has blessed me with more money than someone else. There is always going to be someone who has less than I do and there is always going to be someone that has more than I do. We can be a blessing to others by simply dying to ourselves over something small. Most of the time we don't really have to give anything up to bless someone else. For some people $10 is the difference of eating a meal or not. Then again, for many others $10 is not going and getting a coffee and a muffin. Thinking about the Food Bank in our area being in need has made me realize that I over look the needs in my area far more often than I would like to realize. It has also made me look back on my own past.
My family has never been "dirt poor" but we have had our instances of difficulty. I remember times when we had an abundance, but then I remember times of just praying to get by. There were times growing up we would dig through our couches to find enough money for each of us to buy a $1 hamburger from McDonald's. We would walk to the McDonald's rather than drive because we didn't want to use more gas than we had to because the gas needed to be used for someone to get to work the next day. There were also times when nana and papa would pay for groceries. Things were not always like this, but it has taught me there are always people the Lord could use me to bless, even though I think I don't have much to bless them with. This is also a misconception, we think we have to have x number of dollars in the bank to be a financial blessing to someone. We do not have to be "rolling in the doe," so to speak, to bless someone else. If I can afford to buy my own groceries, I can afford to buy the store brand and help someone else out.
Think about someone who has blessed you, what did they do? How did you respond? Use that to think about how you could bless others.
If you are interested in helping the Food Bank or interested in finding more opportunities you can email me at bngambill@gmail.com.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Blonde Brain Part I
This is by far probably the most light-hearted post I've written since starting this blog, but everyone needs a little laughter. Last night I was recounting some funny moments since moving into my new apartment with one of my best friends. We sat there laughing at how blonde my brain is. No, my hair is not blonde, my brain is blonde... Here are four short funnies, plan to post a few more later:
The Walk of Shame
Last year I bought a car, the first car I have ever had thank you very much! I am so proud of Keisha. She is a great car. However, Keisha doesn't drive without a driver. One day I was rushing around doing somethings I needed to get done at work. Ran out of the office for lunch - I must add that I wasn't paying attention to anything around me and I was texting. I jumped in my car and buckled up, still texting. I looked up and realized, no one is going to drive me to lunch and I was in the passenger seat of my car (face ... palm). Yeah, well done Bailey. So I set all of my things in the floor board and pretended to be getting something out of my car as I slowly forced myself out of the passenger side. This was the walk of shame to the driver's side of the car.
Magical Push Pins
Like I said earlier, my best friend and I just moved into an apartment that was built in the 1950s. The walls are super thick and have a plaster coating. We were told if we want to hang anything on the walls we need to screw through the walls first and then put the nail in, to keep pieces of the wall from chipping off in huge chunks. So what do I do? I get the bright idea to put my wall map up and use push pins. One of the guys helping me move came to the back room where I was. I was standing on the vanity stool trying to push a push pin in the wall. There I was getting frustrated every push pin was bending. Why didn't I stop? Heavens knows... but not me. He walked over and I handed him the push pin, thinking he was going to magically put it in the wall. He set it on my dresser and walked away slightly laughing at me. I asked him what was so funny. He reminded me of what I was told about the walls. It still didn't click... Let's just say that I don't have anything hanging on my walls right now.
The Other Side of the Room
One of the cool things about this apartment is our basic cable is included, so we don't have to go through the hassle of calling, paying, etc. If we were left to it, we wouldn't have cable. But we do, so yay! My personal Yoda (she has been mentioned in a previous post- she disciples me) let me use one of their big TVs until I decide to buy a big one or move halfway around the world where I will not need one. We have two cable cords in our living room. So when the guys were helping me move in, a week before best friend moved in, they put my TV in the living room next to a cable cord. I was so excited that we had basic cable that I wanted to check it right away. It only picked up four channels. So I was thinking that it was super basic cable. Thought to myself, "No big deal, I don't really watch TV anyway." Well one of our neighbors is a good friend of mine. She told me we should be getting almost 100 channels. So a friend helped me move my TV from one side of the room to the other, thinking the cable cord I was using was old and the new cable cord was on the other side. So we were really excited and we turned it on. Still only picking up four channels, what the heck! So a few days later I started playing around with the menu on the TV. I realized there is a cable button on the menu, some sort of toggle setting. So I toggled it over. Lo-and-behold there were almost 100 channels. Our TV is still on that side of the room...
Rain Storm in La-La-Land
There are many things I really enjoy about our apartment, the fact it was built in the 50s is a huge deal to me. Just love that kind of stuff. The windows are also the fun kind! You know what I am talking about... The 1990s hand crank window that no one looks cool trying to roll down. Only in an apartment it is kind of cool. It gives it that cute retro look. Well, until it rains. Then it gives it that freshly rained on look. Because I love these windows so much I began leaving them open anytime I was home. Wide open, all the way cranked. It began looking stormy - side note, I love storms - and I was thinking things were fine because it wasn't actually raining yet. So when it did start raining I walked through to make sure rain wasn't getting in the apartment. We have screens on the windows, after all. Somehow in my head the screens seemed to repel water and keep it outside, I have no idea why. Then it was an all out torrential downpour with large gusts of wind in every which direction. I noticed the drapery in the living room was getting wet so I closed the window and ventured off to my room to get a towel. Walked in my room and realized my room was in the middle of Hurricane Albert. I had no idea what to do. I ran through the house closing all the windows and then tried to clean up the puddles in my room (we have wood floors all through the apartment... did I mention they are they are the original wood boards from the 1950s? No?). Water had been gushing in my room for at least 15 minutes while I was off in La-La-Land. One of my windows is directly above a wall socket where I have things plugged. So I am trying to avoid being electrocuted while turning off the surge protector and cleaning up the aftermath.
Mustard Cream
Although I am not super grouchy when I wake up, I am also not super awake either. When I wake up in the mornings everything is pretty foggy. Kind of like what is described by people coming off hardcore drugs, that is about what I experience in the morning. I have no idea what the heck the noise is that is so consistent and annoying or who I am or whose apartment I have ended up in or why I am so hungry. Maybe that is not the typical drug addicts crash but that is what seems to happen to me when I wake up, especially when it is 6:30 in the morning (I know, I know... so many people wake up earlier than that and are chipper and poop bunnies, whatever). It takes my poor little brain a while to wake up. One morning, recently, I rolled out of bed, showered, and blow dried my hair. Somewhere in between I turned on my hair straightener. I have no recollection of performing this task, but I usually can't remember if I have washed my hair when in the shower (or how many times I just washed my hair). So as I am grabbing my hair straightener to turn it on, from the ceramic side of course, I feel the heat from the straightener. What do I do? Why slam my hand on the straightener to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Mustard does help with burns, they should turn that into a cream. Mustard cream. I would buy that ... wait.
The Walk of Shame
Last year I bought a car, the first car I have ever had thank you very much! I am so proud of Keisha. She is a great car. However, Keisha doesn't drive without a driver. One day I was rushing around doing somethings I needed to get done at work. Ran out of the office for lunch - I must add that I wasn't paying attention to anything around me and I was texting. I jumped in my car and buckled up, still texting. I looked up and realized, no one is going to drive me to lunch and I was in the passenger seat of my car (face ... palm). Yeah, well done Bailey. So I set all of my things in the floor board and pretended to be getting something out of my car as I slowly forced myself out of the passenger side. This was the walk of shame to the driver's side of the car.
Magical Push Pins
Like I said earlier, my best friend and I just moved into an apartment that was built in the 1950s. The walls are super thick and have a plaster coating. We were told if we want to hang anything on the walls we need to screw through the walls first and then put the nail in, to keep pieces of the wall from chipping off in huge chunks. So what do I do? I get the bright idea to put my wall map up and use push pins. One of the guys helping me move came to the back room where I was. I was standing on the vanity stool trying to push a push pin in the wall. There I was getting frustrated every push pin was bending. Why didn't I stop? Heavens knows... but not me. He walked over and I handed him the push pin, thinking he was going to magically put it in the wall. He set it on my dresser and walked away slightly laughing at me. I asked him what was so funny. He reminded me of what I was told about the walls. It still didn't click... Let's just say that I don't have anything hanging on my walls right now.
The Other Side of the Room
One of the cool things about this apartment is our basic cable is included, so we don't have to go through the hassle of calling, paying, etc. If we were left to it, we wouldn't have cable. But we do, so yay! My personal Yoda (she has been mentioned in a previous post- she disciples me) let me use one of their big TVs until I decide to buy a big one or move halfway around the world where I will not need one. We have two cable cords in our living room. So when the guys were helping me move in, a week before best friend moved in, they put my TV in the living room next to a cable cord. I was so excited that we had basic cable that I wanted to check it right away. It only picked up four channels. So I was thinking that it was super basic cable. Thought to myself, "No big deal, I don't really watch TV anyway." Well one of our neighbors is a good friend of mine. She told me we should be getting almost 100 channels. So a friend helped me move my TV from one side of the room to the other, thinking the cable cord I was using was old and the new cable cord was on the other side. So we were really excited and we turned it on. Still only picking up four channels, what the heck! So a few days later I started playing around with the menu on the TV. I realized there is a cable button on the menu, some sort of toggle setting. So I toggled it over. Lo-and-behold there were almost 100 channels. Our TV is still on that side of the room...
Rain Storm in La-La-Land
There are many things I really enjoy about our apartment, the fact it was built in the 50s is a huge deal to me. Just love that kind of stuff. The windows are also the fun kind! You know what I am talking about... The 1990s hand crank window that no one looks cool trying to roll down. Only in an apartment it is kind of cool. It gives it that cute retro look. Well, until it rains. Then it gives it that freshly rained on look. Because I love these windows so much I began leaving them open anytime I was home. Wide open, all the way cranked. It began looking stormy - side note, I love storms - and I was thinking things were fine because it wasn't actually raining yet. So when it did start raining I walked through to make sure rain wasn't getting in the apartment. We have screens on the windows, after all. Somehow in my head the screens seemed to repel water and keep it outside, I have no idea why. Then it was an all out torrential downpour with large gusts of wind in every which direction. I noticed the drapery in the living room was getting wet so I closed the window and ventured off to my room to get a towel. Walked in my room and realized my room was in the middle of Hurricane Albert. I had no idea what to do. I ran through the house closing all the windows and then tried to clean up the puddles in my room (we have wood floors all through the apartment... did I mention they are they are the original wood boards from the 1950s? No?). Water had been gushing in my room for at least 15 minutes while I was off in La-La-Land. One of my windows is directly above a wall socket where I have things plugged. So I am trying to avoid being electrocuted while turning off the surge protector and cleaning up the aftermath.
Mustard Cream
Although I am not super grouchy when I wake up, I am also not super awake either. When I wake up in the mornings everything is pretty foggy. Kind of like what is described by people coming off hardcore drugs, that is about what I experience in the morning. I have no idea what the heck the noise is that is so consistent and annoying or who I am or whose apartment I have ended up in or why I am so hungry. Maybe that is not the typical drug addicts crash but that is what seems to happen to me when I wake up, especially when it is 6:30 in the morning (I know, I know... so many people wake up earlier than that and are chipper and poop bunnies, whatever). It takes my poor little brain a while to wake up. One morning, recently, I rolled out of bed, showered, and blow dried my hair. Somewhere in between I turned on my hair straightener. I have no recollection of performing this task, but I usually can't remember if I have washed my hair when in the shower (or how many times I just washed my hair). So as I am grabbing my hair straightener to turn it on, from the ceramic side of course, I feel the heat from the straightener. What do I do? Why slam my hand on the straightener to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Mustard does help with burns, they should turn that into a cream. Mustard cream. I would buy that ... wait.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Scandalous
Occasionally a couple of my friends and myself will have controversial conversations about current events or "trending" topics. Today one of them started off with the following link (click here). To understand this post you must first read the link, if you just read this with out reading that... well you might be confused.
A Christian university that has an LGBT group, how does that translate according to biblical standards/principles? Here is my take on it, and a few quotes of theirs.
Biblically homosexuality is a sin, so is sex before marriage, taking God's name in vain, dishonoring one's parents, and the list keeps going. These things are "normal" and accepted in our world today. Scripture says we are born into sin (Psalm 51:5 "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me."). We are not born Christians. We are born with a desire to be sinful. We want to rebel against our parents and other authority; we want to swear and drink and have premarital sex... Everything we aren't supposed to do is what we want to do. It literally takes an act of God to change us. People are tempted in different ways. Jesus, for example, fasted for 40 days. Satan tempted Him with turning a rock into bread to meet His physical needs (Matthew 4:1-11). Satan tempted Him in His weakest moment. When we are hungry or desperate for something we will do almost anything to get that thing, whatever "it" is. In 1991 a woman hired a hit man to kill her daughter's cheerleading rival to insure her own daughter would be on the cheerleading squad. Not all people's sin is that open, but when God comes in and truly changes someone's life, they are changed forever.
Think about it this way, if your co-worker/friend/spouse/etc runs in and says, "I'm so sorry I am late! I just got hit by a semi-truck and it took forever to get out of there." You would not believe him. Why is that? Because that person would look drastically different, and would possibly be dead. When someone is changed by God he will not appear the same. The physical appearance may not change but everything else about the person begins to change. If someone has homosexual tendencies and then comes to know the Lord that person will be changed. It may not be immediate, but change takes place in that person's life. The more this person spends time with the Lord the more the person sees that it is not spiritually natural to have that desire. Then the person will begin to seek God even more for Him to transform his heart. The person begins to want to desire what God desires. Christ's purpose was to spread the gospel and make His name known throughout the world. His second command to Adam and Eve was to be fruitful and multiply and fill the Earth. Why were they to do this? What was the point? It was to spread the name of the Lord. They knew what was good and evil. There were only two options, good and evil. It was not good and bad, rather good and evil.
Sin is evil. When we lie, that is evil. When we get drunk, that is evil. When we... do anything that goes against God's law, it is evil. God is perfectly forgiving. God is also perfectly just. Think about it this way, if a convicted murderer was called in by a judge and was told he was being set free. He was forgiven of his charges and was free to go. Everyone (and they mama) would be in an uproar. We would call that judge all sorts of crazy things. So why should we expect the same from God? God sent His Son to die for each of us so that we might have hope in Him. As a Christian/Follower of Christ we are to look different than the world. We are not to go out of our way to look different, but we are not to be of this world. We are just living in it temporarily until we are allowed to go "home". We are citizens of heaven, if we are followers of Christ. As a citizen of heaven our citizenship looks much different than those of the world. Homosexuality, sexual immorality, etc. fit into that category as well. Although we are not to participate in such, we are called to love them. There is a time to rebuke and a time to love. We can still love others while recognizing their actions are sinful. Many people believe that by thinking something is wrong we have to push our own agenda on others, even if we think that agenda is "the right one". Christ did not do that. He loved others and shared truth with them. He was the harshest on the religious people (read the New Testament to see more on this and what He said to the Pharisees).
I, like everyone else, am very sinful. Do people treat me like a leper or stand outside my house with signs and shouting things at me? No. Why should we be doing that to people who claim homosexuality? Shouldn't we show them love and respect? John 8:2-11 talks about the woman caught in adultery.
"Early in the morning He came again to the temple. All the people came to Him, and He sat down and tuaght them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to Him, 'Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do You say?' This they said to test Him, that they might have some charge to bring against Him. Jesus bent down and wrote with His finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask Him, He stood up and said to them, 'Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.' And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before Him. Jesus stood up and said to her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' She Said, 'No one, Lord.' And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.'"
He did not condemn her, He loved her. In His love for her He let her go and told her to "sin no more". We do not have the authority to tell others "go and sin no more" but we have the ability to love and respect. I was not there so I cannot tell you the level of His compassion or the depth of His kindness. I can tell you that scripture shows that He loved her enough to protect her from the harm of others and the harm of herself. If we are called to be like Christ (Christian means little Christ), aren't we called to love like Christ? Aren't we called to respect? Aren't we called to tell others about Christ? Yes.
Recently there was an article published about a pastor in North Carolina. This particular pastor told his congregation if their children start showing signs of homosexuality they should "beat" them. This is not what God has called us to. Christ washed the feet of the man who would betray Him. He ate with tax collectors and prostitutes. When was the last time you spoke to someone who was highly hated in your community? When was the last time you offered to eat a meal with a prostitute or someone society looks down upon?
In the community group I attend we spoke about lepers. Not just leprous people but people we consider outcasts in society. Think about who you consider an outcast and pray for them. Not just pray for them but take actions that show Christ love to them. Our community group leader asked us what do those around us begin to believe about us when we start reaching out to the "lepers" of our society? After thinking about it I said, "we become the lepers". We really do, it is not common practice to treat others with love and respect when we do not like what they are doing or when they are not doing what society approves of.
I dare you, reach out to your local leper. We are sinful, we are born into sin. So why not love the other sinners and treat them the way Christ did?
A Christian university that has an LGBT group, how does that translate according to biblical standards/principles? Here is my take on it, and a few quotes of theirs.
Biblically homosexuality is a sin, so is sex before marriage, taking God's name in vain, dishonoring one's parents, and the list keeps going. These things are "normal" and accepted in our world today. Scripture says we are born into sin (Psalm 51:5 "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me."). We are not born Christians. We are born with a desire to be sinful. We want to rebel against our parents and other authority; we want to swear and drink and have premarital sex... Everything we aren't supposed to do is what we want to do. It literally takes an act of God to change us. People are tempted in different ways. Jesus, for example, fasted for 40 days. Satan tempted Him with turning a rock into bread to meet His physical needs (Matthew 4:1-11). Satan tempted Him in His weakest moment. When we are hungry or desperate for something we will do almost anything to get that thing, whatever "it" is. In 1991 a woman hired a hit man to kill her daughter's cheerleading rival to insure her own daughter would be on the cheerleading squad. Not all people's sin is that open, but when God comes in and truly changes someone's life, they are changed forever.
Think about it this way, if your co-worker/friend/spouse/etc runs in and says, "I'm so sorry I am late! I just got hit by a semi-truck and it took forever to get out of there." You would not believe him. Why is that? Because that person would look drastically different, and would possibly be dead. When someone is changed by God he will not appear the same. The physical appearance may not change but everything else about the person begins to change. If someone has homosexual tendencies and then comes to know the Lord that person will be changed. It may not be immediate, but change takes place in that person's life. The more this person spends time with the Lord the more the person sees that it is not spiritually natural to have that desire. Then the person will begin to seek God even more for Him to transform his heart. The person begins to want to desire what God desires. Christ's purpose was to spread the gospel and make His name known throughout the world. His second command to Adam and Eve was to be fruitful and multiply and fill the Earth. Why were they to do this? What was the point? It was to spread the name of the Lord. They knew what was good and evil. There were only two options, good and evil. It was not good and bad, rather good and evil.
Sin is evil. When we lie, that is evil. When we get drunk, that is evil. When we... do anything that goes against God's law, it is evil. God is perfectly forgiving. God is also perfectly just. Think about it this way, if a convicted murderer was called in by a judge and was told he was being set free. He was forgiven of his charges and was free to go. Everyone (and they mama) would be in an uproar. We would call that judge all sorts of crazy things. So why should we expect the same from God? God sent His Son to die for each of us so that we might have hope in Him. As a Christian/Follower of Christ we are to look different than the world. We are not to go out of our way to look different, but we are not to be of this world. We are just living in it temporarily until we are allowed to go "home". We are citizens of heaven, if we are followers of Christ. As a citizen of heaven our citizenship looks much different than those of the world. Homosexuality, sexual immorality, etc. fit into that category as well. Although we are not to participate in such, we are called to love them. There is a time to rebuke and a time to love. We can still love others while recognizing their actions are sinful. Many people believe that by thinking something is wrong we have to push our own agenda on others, even if we think that agenda is "the right one". Christ did not do that. He loved others and shared truth with them. He was the harshest on the religious people (read the New Testament to see more on this and what He said to the Pharisees).
I, like everyone else, am very sinful. Do people treat me like a leper or stand outside my house with signs and shouting things at me? No. Why should we be doing that to people who claim homosexuality? Shouldn't we show them love and respect? John 8:2-11 talks about the woman caught in adultery.
"Early in the morning He came again to the temple. All the people came to Him, and He sat down and tuaght them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to Him, 'Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do You say?' This they said to test Him, that they might have some charge to bring against Him. Jesus bent down and wrote with His finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask Him, He stood up and said to them, 'Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.' And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before Him. Jesus stood up and said to her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' She Said, 'No one, Lord.' And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.'"
He did not condemn her, He loved her. In His love for her He let her go and told her to "sin no more". We do not have the authority to tell others "go and sin no more" but we have the ability to love and respect. I was not there so I cannot tell you the level of His compassion or the depth of His kindness. I can tell you that scripture shows that He loved her enough to protect her from the harm of others and the harm of herself. If we are called to be like Christ (Christian means little Christ), aren't we called to love like Christ? Aren't we called to respect? Aren't we called to tell others about Christ? Yes.
Recently there was an article published about a pastor in North Carolina. This particular pastor told his congregation if their children start showing signs of homosexuality they should "beat" them. This is not what God has called us to. Christ washed the feet of the man who would betray Him. He ate with tax collectors and prostitutes. When was the last time you spoke to someone who was highly hated in your community? When was the last time you offered to eat a meal with a prostitute or someone society looks down upon?
In the community group I attend we spoke about lepers. Not just leprous people but people we consider outcasts in society. Think about who you consider an outcast and pray for them. Not just pray for them but take actions that show Christ love to them. Our community group leader asked us what do those around us begin to believe about us when we start reaching out to the "lepers" of our society? After thinking about it I said, "we become the lepers". We really do, it is not common practice to treat others with love and respect when we do not like what they are doing or when they are not doing what society approves of.
I dare you, reach out to your local leper. We are sinful, we are born into sin. So why not love the other sinners and treat them the way Christ did?
Life is Often Far too Short
Some times life ends too soon; before we expect it to end. Some times it is sudden; some times it is expected. Life has a funny way of ending. By funny I mean not funny at all, but you know what I mean by that; I hope.
Recently it seems death has been very present among those I know. Thankfully I haven't had to experience this in quite some time but I know the feelings and emotions all too well. Two of my favorite people of all time passed away when I was in junior high and high school (my grand parents). I still remember going through their house and helping pick what was kept and what was to be sold/given away/thrown out. But this isn't about me, it is about others.
There is a sweet family that lost their father/husband in a sudden accident. It wasn't expected, he wasn't sick, it couldn't have been predicted. One day they had their daddy, the next day they didn't. One day their husband woke up and walked out the door for work, but didn't come home. Can you imagine that? That is someone's reality. Several people's reality actually but in this case it is them ... their world has stopped for a brief moment in time. They are left with memories that can't hug them before they go to bed. Those memories can't tell them that everything is going to be alright and that daddy is coming home, because he isn't. All they can do is try to pick up where things left off and start over. A life without her best friend that slept in her bed with her every night. A life without daddy.
What would you do? Can you imagine that?
Just the mere thought of it makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and bawl like a big baby. It makes me want to go home and hug my own daddy.
Often we read verses like Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Somehow we think that verse makes us invincible. Many times we forget to keep reading: Jeremiah 29:12-14 "Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile." [So I am not saying this traumatic event has sent this family into exile, just hang with me]. We think because of verse 11 that our life is going to revolve around what we consider good and what we consider our future, welfare, and hope. Bad things happen, God allows/causes those bad things (contrary to popular belief). Not because God is "bad" but because God has a purpose that we do not always understand. We may never understand His reasoning for things, but when we acknowledge His all-knowing, all-seeing, overwhelming love for His people we see that our plans are not God's plans. Proverbs 16:1 "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD." God has all the answers, we do not.
God knows the plans; He knows the paths; He knows the future and the hope. We only see a tiny little portion, our own lives and those we hold dear around us (some times not even that). When He causes these traumatic events or allows them to happen He wants us to call upon Him and go to Him in prayer. Like David, He wants us to pour everything out to Him: Psalm 22:14 "I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast." The Lord wants us to seek Him and find Him in events like these. Just as the LORD has pursued us, He wants us to pursue Him. He knows all things and knows the answers to all things. So why would we seek the knowledge of others before seeking that of God. He also tells us in verse 14 that He will restore our fortunes and gather us up from where we have been driven. That alone implies that we are going to have misfortune and be driven away from all that we know. He knows why, He knows where, and He knows how. In events like this, He wants us to pour our hearts out like water that has been poured out all over the place. He knows we are going to be a big crying hot mess. He made us that way, He is not surprised when we do become that way. He knows we are going to be all out of sorts and that our heart is broken. This family feels like they are melting into the very floor they are walking on, they have lost a key part of their lives. Their whole lives have been flipped upside-down. Everything has changed for them; their hearts are broken.
Psalm 34:18 reminds us that "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 147:3 says "He (the LORD) heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." God promises to make things better. Things will never be the same but He will bind up the wounds, heal them, save the crushed spirit, restore their fortunes, and give them hope. Things will forever be different, but this is not the end. Not yet. He still has a plan, that is why the rest of this family is still here.
Some of you know this family personally, don't forget to pray for them. Don't forget to hug your families and remind them how much you love them.
Some of you do not know this family at all; please pray for comfort for this family. Don't forget to hug your families too.
This family loves each other dearly, the hug each other often; don't think I am saying anything against them. My heart (and prayers go) goes out to them and as I sit and think about all that they are going through right now, it is all I can do to not start crying myself. This event in their lives has reminded me in any events (big, small, traumatic, mundane, etc) I am (we all are) to be seeking the Lord. I am to love at all times, even when it is hard. Life is often far too short to spend most of it mad at others or not loving others. We never know when our days with them will end.
Decide to make today and everyday here after different.
You have a choice, we all do.
Recently it seems death has been very present among those I know. Thankfully I haven't had to experience this in quite some time but I know the feelings and emotions all too well. Two of my favorite people of all time passed away when I was in junior high and high school (my grand parents). I still remember going through their house and helping pick what was kept and what was to be sold/given away/thrown out. But this isn't about me, it is about others.
There is a sweet family that lost their father/husband in a sudden accident. It wasn't expected, he wasn't sick, it couldn't have been predicted. One day they had their daddy, the next day they didn't. One day their husband woke up and walked out the door for work, but didn't come home. Can you imagine that? That is someone's reality. Several people's reality actually but in this case it is them ... their world has stopped for a brief moment in time. They are left with memories that can't hug them before they go to bed. Those memories can't tell them that everything is going to be alright and that daddy is coming home, because he isn't. All they can do is try to pick up where things left off and start over. A life without her best friend that slept in her bed with her every night. A life without daddy.
What would you do? Can you imagine that?
Just the mere thought of it makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and bawl like a big baby. It makes me want to go home and hug my own daddy.
Often we read verses like Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Somehow we think that verse makes us invincible. Many times we forget to keep reading: Jeremiah 29:12-14 "Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile." [So I am not saying this traumatic event has sent this family into exile, just hang with me]. We think because of verse 11 that our life is going to revolve around what we consider good and what we consider our future, welfare, and hope. Bad things happen, God allows/causes those bad things (contrary to popular belief). Not because God is "bad" but because God has a purpose that we do not always understand. We may never understand His reasoning for things, but when we acknowledge His all-knowing, all-seeing, overwhelming love for His people we see that our plans are not God's plans. Proverbs 16:1 "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD." God has all the answers, we do not.
God knows the plans; He knows the paths; He knows the future and the hope. We only see a tiny little portion, our own lives and those we hold dear around us (some times not even that). When He causes these traumatic events or allows them to happen He wants us to call upon Him and go to Him in prayer. Like David, He wants us to pour everything out to Him: Psalm 22:14 "I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast." The Lord wants us to seek Him and find Him in events like these. Just as the LORD has pursued us, He wants us to pursue Him. He knows all things and knows the answers to all things. So why would we seek the knowledge of others before seeking that of God. He also tells us in verse 14 that He will restore our fortunes and gather us up from where we have been driven. That alone implies that we are going to have misfortune and be driven away from all that we know. He knows why, He knows where, and He knows how. In events like this, He wants us to pour our hearts out like water that has been poured out all over the place. He knows we are going to be a big crying hot mess. He made us that way, He is not surprised when we do become that way. He knows we are going to be all out of sorts and that our heart is broken. This family feels like they are melting into the very floor they are walking on, they have lost a key part of their lives. Their whole lives have been flipped upside-down. Everything has changed for them; their hearts are broken.
Psalm 34:18 reminds us that "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 147:3 says "He (the LORD) heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." God promises to make things better. Things will never be the same but He will bind up the wounds, heal them, save the crushed spirit, restore their fortunes, and give them hope. Things will forever be different, but this is not the end. Not yet. He still has a plan, that is why the rest of this family is still here.
Some of you know this family personally, don't forget to pray for them. Don't forget to hug your families and remind them how much you love them.
Some of you do not know this family at all; please pray for comfort for this family. Don't forget to hug your families too.
This family loves each other dearly, the hug each other often; don't think I am saying anything against them. My heart (and prayers go) goes out to them and as I sit and think about all that they are going through right now, it is all I can do to not start crying myself. This event in their lives has reminded me in any events (big, small, traumatic, mundane, etc) I am (we all are) to be seeking the Lord. I am to love at all times, even when it is hard. Life is often far too short to spend most of it mad at others or not loving others. We never know when our days with them will end.
Decide to make today and everyday here after different.
You have a choice, we all do.
Friday, May 11, 2012
When God Says "No"
Over the past 6 years my friends and I have had
this running joke that God wouldn’t let me leave the state for more than 7 days
at a time. This spring He said yes to me for a trip to Italy. There is
something awesome about getting what we want, but what about the times we don’t
get what we want? God is still good. He still has a plan. He knows all things
past, all things current, and knows all things of the future. He knows all.
When we are told “no” we seem to revert back to our two year old selves and
throw a mini-tantrum. God has a plan that I do not yet understand.
Ok, maybe not everyone; but I know I do. This is a
problem, because in essence I am saying I think my plan is better than God’s.
God knows what is best for me (and you). He has a specific plan for us and some
things, sadly, just do not fit into His plan.
Although He has given me many yeses, there are
still so many things where I am getting a big fat no. Some of them I understand
and some of them I have been left in the dark. He is opening up some doors and
quickly closing others, all-the-while leaving some slightly cracked. Originally
I thought I was graduating in December; nope, there is more school to be done.
Thought I would be taking another short trip overseas for the summer; nope,
there is work to be done. Thought I would be doing this, that, or the other and
so many things have changed (but stayed the same) in such a short amount of
time. This time last year I had a completely different major with my current
goal and vision. Now I am studying in a different department, learning
completely different things and around drastically different people than
before. God has a plan.
Sometimes I feel like God leads us in certain
directions to test our faith and trust in Him. For instance, this year
everything seemed to be working out perfectly for me to go overseas for 10 days
with the university’s Study Abroad program. Then, things changed. God allowed
things to work out everything perfectly until He told me no. He has me
right where He wants me, and for whatever reason that is here … where I am
currently writing this from – my job. He has given me a job, in the most unique
of ways, and has allowed me to work with students from all over the world. He
has also given me some of my best friends through this job. His plan is sweet
and lined with good things (that doesn’t mean we always get what we want or
that things are always going to be hunky-dorey either).
I don’t always get what I want. I didn’t marry
that guy or get to date that other one I “liked sooo much”. If I did, my life
would look quite different. I didn’t get to graduate within 4 years of starting
college. If I would have, I wouldn’t be working here and most likely not even
have the job I have now. I didn’t get to leave the country every time I wanted
to or take the trips I wanted to take. If I would have, I would be in much more
debt (let’s be serious, travelling is expensive – don’t let that stop… please
travel! So much out there is just waiting to be seen). I didn’t get that job I
applied for in Hawaii. There are so many things I have been told “no” on, but
there are so many good things that have happened because I was told “no”.
God’s plan is so much better than my own and I
miss that at times. When I am turned down for things it doesn’t mean I need to
stop trying, it means I need to find where I should be trying. My efforts are
not wasted, they are learning opportunities for what is to come in life. Our
parents, grandparents, and elders didn’t become wise overnight. No! They lived,
they learned, they were told no and had to figure things out. Don’t give up on
God when you don’t get your way, ask where you missed the turn or where to go
next. Sometimes our “GPS” needs to recalculate.
Trust God’s plan even when you don’t understand.
That is something I have been trying to learn over the past 6 (almost 7 …)
years. We have to surrender our own plans for the plans of the One who knows better.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
I'm Being Followed ...
I think I'm being followed...
Nakeli, a good friend/co-worker has a theory about me: where ever I go I find someone I know, am connected to, or make friends with anyone near. I pretty much laugh it off because I have lived in the same town for almost 24 years. So knowing, what seems like to my friend, a majority of the population is understandable. See this theory is becoming "fact," so my friend says. Then I started thinking about it a little more this past week. When I hopped on the plane headed for Rome I thought, "surely I won't know anyone other than my friend who lives in Italy." boy was I wrong. On the flight to Toronto the lady that sat next to me turned out to be from my home town. Not just that, she works at ASU in a department our office works with quite frequently. I was stunned ... Then I thought, "whew! That won't happen again the rest of the time I am gone. Who could impossibly run into in Italy?"
On Wednesday I headed out to Rome on my own. I went to the Colosseum on an English guided tour. I started chatting with the others going through the same tour. They were a sweet couple from Scotland who enjoyed traveling through Europe on holiday. I spent a majority of the day with them and enjoyed every little bit. The next day Janelle and I are leaving the Vatican when we hear, "Bailey!" we turn around and it's the Scottish couple from the day before. Janelle laughed and said, "your friend is right, can't take you anywhere." I was still half in shock that it happened at all.
Stepping back to Wednesday for a moment, when I was out I stopped and had lunch at this little restaurant facing the Vittorini building. When I finished lunch the waiter asked me where I was from and I replied. A table over a Taiwanese lady heard me say Arkansas. She turned around and asked me more specifically where in Arkansas. She then told me she has family in Little Rock.
I got on the plane to head back from Rome and thought I was in the clear, it had been a few days since I met anyone with Arkansas connections or anyone who recognized me. When I sat down in the plane from Switzerland to New Jersey I started chatting with the girl next to me. Low and behold she is from Arkansas. I started laughing before she asked me where I was from and then felt the need to explain. I can imagine she was weirded out by "this would prove my friend's theory" laughter. She laughed after I explained.
Then I got to the airport in Newark, while I was waiting on my flight a guy sits down 3 seats to my left. I looked, because of my minor ADD, it was a student from ASU that I have spoken with on several occasions. As we boarded the plane I noticed a history professor from ASU as well.
I think I am being followed by Arkansas ...
Then again
Maybe I am just chatty...
Surely that is what it is, I am a chatty Cathy. I have no problem with that, I learned from the Nigerian lady on the metro that I look friendly. Maybe that is what it is. So I am admitting defeat and beginning to believe my friend's theory (proved fact) ... Just don't expect me to run for office or anything.
Oh! By the way, our flight attendant looked like Oprah. Her name tag even says "Oprah."
Welcome to my life.
Nakeli, a good friend/co-worker has a theory about me: where ever I go I find someone I know, am connected to, or make friends with anyone near. I pretty much laugh it off because I have lived in the same town for almost 24 years. So knowing, what seems like to my friend, a majority of the population is understandable. See this theory is becoming "fact," so my friend says. Then I started thinking about it a little more this past week. When I hopped on the plane headed for Rome I thought, "surely I won't know anyone other than my friend who lives in Italy." boy was I wrong. On the flight to Toronto the lady that sat next to me turned out to be from my home town. Not just that, she works at ASU in a department our office works with quite frequently. I was stunned ... Then I thought, "whew! That won't happen again the rest of the time I am gone. Who could impossibly run into in Italy?"
On Wednesday I headed out to Rome on my own. I went to the Colosseum on an English guided tour. I started chatting with the others going through the same tour. They were a sweet couple from Scotland who enjoyed traveling through Europe on holiday. I spent a majority of the day with them and enjoyed every little bit. The next day Janelle and I are leaving the Vatican when we hear, "Bailey!" we turn around and it's the Scottish couple from the day before. Janelle laughed and said, "your friend is right, can't take you anywhere." I was still half in shock that it happened at all.
Stepping back to Wednesday for a moment, when I was out I stopped and had lunch at this little restaurant facing the Vittorini building. When I finished lunch the waiter asked me where I was from and I replied. A table over a Taiwanese lady heard me say Arkansas. She turned around and asked me more specifically where in Arkansas. She then told me she has family in Little Rock.
I got on the plane to head back from Rome and thought I was in the clear, it had been a few days since I met anyone with Arkansas connections or anyone who recognized me. When I sat down in the plane from Switzerland to New Jersey I started chatting with the girl next to me. Low and behold she is from Arkansas. I started laughing before she asked me where I was from and then felt the need to explain. I can imagine she was weirded out by "this would prove my friend's theory" laughter. She laughed after I explained.
Then I got to the airport in Newark, while I was waiting on my flight a guy sits down 3 seats to my left. I looked, because of my minor ADD, it was a student from ASU that I have spoken with on several occasions. As we boarded the plane I noticed a history professor from ASU as well.
I think I am being followed by Arkansas ...
Then again
Maybe I am just chatty...
Surely that is what it is, I am a chatty Cathy. I have no problem with that, I learned from the Nigerian lady on the metro that I look friendly. Maybe that is what it is. So I am admitting defeat and beginning to believe my friend's theory (proved fact) ... Just don't expect me to run for office or anything.
Oh! By the way, our flight attendant looked like Oprah. Her name tag even says "Oprah."
Welcome to my life.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Nigerian on the Metro
Janelle and I were headed into Rome on Thursday. While we were waiting for the metro to get to the station a lady approached us to ask if we speak English. We told her yes and she let out a huge sigh of relief; she physically looked as if weights had been lifted off her shoulders. She was so excited to find English speakers that it was a joy to speak English. She told us she is from Nigeria and she traveled to Italy to find work. She is horribly homesick and misses her husband and children. She was accuse fly on the wrong metro and didn't know how to get back in the right direction. She began to just talk talk talk on the way to her stop.
To be honest I can't even tell you her name, but God used her to remind me even when we are obedient to His will and His way things will not always be easy. Honestly I have no idea where she stands spiritually but God likes to remind me of things in the neatest little ways. My desire is to move overseas and share the gospel, He has out this in my heart. Meeting that woman reminded me that leaving everything behind and moving half way around the world is not an easy task. She doesn't speak the language and is struggling in learning and picking it up. She seems to be trying so very hard to make it and not be discouraged. These are the same challenges I will someday, soon, be facing. He doesn't let everything be easy because He wants us to rely on Him. That is what this woman was having to do, rely on something/someone other than herself. She literally relied on two complete strangers to help her. It was such a blessing to be able to be there and give her an (English) outlet.
Let me back up for a second, when she approached us and realized we spoke English she told us she only approached us because we look friendly. If you know me you know I could talk to a brick wall if I thought it would talk back, basically I love people. This was such a huge compliment, Janelle and I looked friendly, approachable, that is just what she did - she took a leap of faith and approached us for help. I forget how important it is to just appear friendly and loving and approachable. God uses even the simplest things to execute His will. He used Janelle and I to provide the slightest bit of relief to this woman. She walked away with higher spirits than the day before and seemed more confident to conquer the day. Yay for being where God wants us when He wants us there! We don't have to worry if God is going to put us where He wants us, because if we are being obedient (and even in times we are not being so obedient) He has us right where He wants us. Hopefully this thought will stick with me for the rest of this year (2012- not just the school year). This is something I struggle struggle with greatly, wanting to be somewhere else... Somewhere "better."
To be honest I can't even tell you her name, but God used her to remind me even when we are obedient to His will and His way things will not always be easy. Honestly I have no idea where she stands spiritually but God likes to remind me of things in the neatest little ways. My desire is to move overseas and share the gospel, He has out this in my heart. Meeting that woman reminded me that leaving everything behind and moving half way around the world is not an easy task. She doesn't speak the language and is struggling in learning and picking it up. She seems to be trying so very hard to make it and not be discouraged. These are the same challenges I will someday, soon, be facing. He doesn't let everything be easy because He wants us to rely on Him. That is what this woman was having to do, rely on something/someone other than herself. She literally relied on two complete strangers to help her. It was such a blessing to be able to be there and give her an (English) outlet.
Let me back up for a second, when she approached us and realized we spoke English she told us she only approached us because we look friendly. If you know me you know I could talk to a brick wall if I thought it would talk back, basically I love people. This was such a huge compliment, Janelle and I looked friendly, approachable, that is just what she did - she took a leap of faith and approached us for help. I forget how important it is to just appear friendly and loving and approachable. God uses even the simplest things to execute His will. He used Janelle and I to provide the slightest bit of relief to this woman. She walked away with higher spirits than the day before and seemed more confident to conquer the day. Yay for being where God wants us when He wants us there! We don't have to worry if God is going to put us where He wants us, because if we are being obedient (and even in times we are not being so obedient) He has us right where He wants us. Hopefully this thought will stick with me for the rest of this year (2012- not just the school year). This is something I struggle struggle with greatly, wanting to be somewhere else... Somewhere "better."
Saturday, March 24, 2012
A Little Taste of Italy...
Wow! Let me tell you that God has blessed me immensely with loving family, great friends, and good food (hehe) ... well and safe travels of course. As I look through my own pictures I can't help but ask myself if that is really me posing in front of this or that building. "Am I really here," the question that kept playing through my mind. Before leaving to get on the plane people asked me if I was excited to go. That was hard for me to answer, not because I didn't want to go but because it didn't quite seem real. It seemed as if I was living someone else's life doing things someone else would do. But this has been my dream since I was little. I think I was 6 years old when someone asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. I told them I wanted to go to other countries and help people. Which is what I am on the path to do currently. Cultures, languages, religions, people, and history all fascinate me. Being in Rome where the history and culture is so thick is, well, almost unreal. My life still goes on day-by-day. I walk, eat, sleep, and breathe just like I would in Arkansas. Only, I'm not in Arkansas ... I'm nowhere near my family or closest friends. Yet, I don't feel very far way either. It is the strangest feeling to have. This is my life, this is how I am supposed to live; off in some other country where I may or may not know the people I go to live amongst.
There is so much to be told about the 6 days I have spent in Rome and I will write about them, slowly, and tell you not only what I did and saw but what I learned from the culture, language, religion, people, and history. If I wrote it all at once you wouldn't want to read it; trust me, it would be really long. Just know this, everything (practically) that I have done since being here is new to me. So these posts will not be labelled like the rest of the "31 Day March" challenge but everyday has been something new and exciting.
I will tell you this, before I venture into posting and updating and whatnot, God continues to show me how much He loves me (not just me but this is my blog and what God is showing me so that is what I am sharing with you). He has provided constant protection, safe travels, lovely people, interesting situations, cultural sensitivity training (yes, even God reminds me to be sensitive to other cultures), and well... more than I can think of right now. There will not be a quiz or a test over this so don't feel like you have to read this or ask me about what I have been writing. There are so many things out there to see and do that I don't expect you to be part of every little thing I have done. Go, live your life!
This has probably been the biggest lesson of all. We only have one life to live, so why not start living it now.
There is so much to be told about the 6 days I have spent in Rome and I will write about them, slowly, and tell you not only what I did and saw but what I learned from the culture, language, religion, people, and history. If I wrote it all at once you wouldn't want to read it; trust me, it would be really long. Just know this, everything (practically) that I have done since being here is new to me. So these posts will not be labelled like the rest of the "31 Day March" challenge but everyday has been something new and exciting.
I will tell you this, before I venture into posting and updating and whatnot, God continues to show me how much He loves me (not just me but this is my blog and what God is showing me so that is what I am sharing with you). He has provided constant protection, safe travels, lovely people, interesting situations, cultural sensitivity training (yes, even God reminds me to be sensitive to other cultures), and well... more than I can think of right now. There will not be a quiz or a test over this so don't feel like you have to read this or ask me about what I have been writing. There are so many things out there to see and do that I don't expect you to be part of every little thing I have done. Go, live your life!
This has probably been the biggest lesson of all. We only have one life to live, so why not start living it now.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
31 Day March - Days 9-14
Days 9-14 ... My bad
What's new this week?
-Tejas. I drove to Texas, alone
-Barn dance (non-dance) and hungout with people I barely knew ... also rode in the backseat of my own car.
-Was a judge at the men's bake off at church. Yes, this means I got to try all of the cakes and cookies... yes I did!
-Worked out twice in one day
-Went to a local park to do homework
How is this new?
- Texas is a new place for me. I had not entered the state of Texas, ever until Friday. I also ate at a Whataburger. It was good!
- I had never danced in a barn before, and technically still haven't. But, I went to a "barn dance" and had to leave before the dancing started. There were mechanical bull rides, horse back riding, carriage rides, and BBQ. Later was barn dancing but our group headed out before that started. That is ok! We ended up going to a mini-fire with s'mores. So yumtastic! It was at someone's house I didn't know and I ended up having a great time. (I was skeptical and didn't want to go because I didn't know half the people that were going to be there... I am so glad I went). On the way out to hang out and eat s'mores I made my friend drive my car. So for the first time I rode in the back seat of my own car. It makes me feel more like a girl to not have to drive all the time. That may be silly, but it is true.
-As a fundraiser for the youth group, our church does an annual men's bake off. This year I was asked to be a judge. As you know, from other posts, I like food. So this made me ecstatic. Plus all the cakes weregood great!
-I go to zumba 2-4 times a week. Well this time I went to 2 different zumba classes in one day 1 hour apart from one another. So I finished one and ate dinner and then went to the next zumba class. I thought I was going to vomit ... so yeah, food and working out too close together is a bad idea.
-Usually when I do homework I go to a local bookstore of coffee shop. Today was soooo nice that I just had to get out and do something. So I did. As I was sitting there reading for British Novel a couple walked by and the girl said to her boyfriend or man or whoever he was, "I want to come out here and read. That looks so chill." I started laughing when she said that. It was really relaxing and nice.
Why this?
- Hello, it's Texas! I have always wanted to go to Texas and have never had a chance to go, so on Friday I got in my car after work and drove to Texarkana. (Pictures below)
- Why not?! Really, I love dancing and any opportunity to do so is one I will jump on quickly. But we didn't dance there, we actually ended up doing random dances at our s'mores host house. That was way more fun and way less dirty than a barn.
- I got to eat cake, nothing more needs to be said.
- Honestly, I was desperate for a "new thing" ... also, did you see the one right above this? I ate a lot of cake.
- It was friggin awesome outside.
Is this something that will be continued?
- Random road trips and mental vacations are phenomenal.
- Yes, I will continue meeting new people and going to dance things. Most of my friends know how overly social I am and they also know I really reeeaallly like dancing.
- Well, I probably will not get to judge it too often. I would do it again.
- Working out, yes. Working out twice in one day, not unless I have to lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time.
- YES!!
Are there any negatives to this?
- Yes. Traveling alone can be dangerous if you are not careful. Also, thinking too much can be dangerous to your mental/emotional health. Luckily the drive there was great because all I did was listen to music and was able to just not think for 4 hours. It was fantastic. The trip back is a bit different. I started thinking a little too much and ended up praying the rest of the way back about pretty much anything that came to mind. It was good and God gave me a sweet opportunity to just go. Love it!
- Cow pies... well horse pies because there were no cows. As long as you didn't step in those you were fine.
- Diabetes, I think this was developed this on Sunday.
- Death, which is what I felt like.
- Can't think of many. Well unless I get stung by bugs. Other than that all good.
Things I learned from my trip to Texas...
You may not be able to judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a bathroom based on the outer appearance of the establishment.
Sign: "Underage drinking and driving; zero tolerance!" - Who knew if you are of age drinking and driving is tolerated?!
Pictures
What's new this week?
-Tejas. I drove to Texas, alone
-Barn dance (non-dance) and hungout with people I barely knew ... also rode in the backseat of my own car.
-Was a judge at the men's bake off at church. Yes, this means I got to try all of the cakes and cookies... yes I did!
-Worked out twice in one day
-Went to a local park to do homework
How is this new?
- Texas is a new place for me. I had not entered the state of Texas, ever until Friday. I also ate at a Whataburger. It was good!
- I had never danced in a barn before, and technically still haven't. But, I went to a "barn dance" and had to leave before the dancing started. There were mechanical bull rides, horse back riding, carriage rides, and BBQ. Later was barn dancing but our group headed out before that started. That is ok! We ended up going to a mini-fire with s'mores. So yumtastic! It was at someone's house I didn't know and I ended up having a great time. (I was skeptical and didn't want to go because I didn't know half the people that were going to be there... I am so glad I went). On the way out to hang out and eat s'mores I made my friend drive my car. So for the first time I rode in the back seat of my own car. It makes me feel more like a girl to not have to drive all the time. That may be silly, but it is true.
-As a fundraiser for the youth group, our church does an annual men's bake off. This year I was asked to be a judge. As you know, from other posts, I like food. So this made me ecstatic. Plus all the cakes were
-I go to zumba 2-4 times a week. Well this time I went to 2 different zumba classes in one day 1 hour apart from one another. So I finished one and ate dinner and then went to the next zumba class. I thought I was going to vomit ... so yeah, food and working out too close together is a bad idea.
-Usually when I do homework I go to a local bookstore of coffee shop. Today was soooo nice that I just had to get out and do something. So I did. As I was sitting there reading for British Novel a couple walked by and the girl said to her boyfriend or man or whoever he was, "I want to come out here and read. That looks so chill." I started laughing when she said that. It was really relaxing and nice.
Why this?
- Hello, it's Texas! I have always wanted to go to Texas and have never had a chance to go, so on Friday I got in my car after work and drove to Texarkana. (Pictures below)
- Why not?! Really, I love dancing and any opportunity to do so is one I will jump on quickly. But we didn't dance there, we actually ended up doing random dances at our s'mores host house. That was way more fun and way less dirty than a barn.
- I got to eat cake, nothing more needs to be said.
- Honestly, I was desperate for a "new thing" ... also, did you see the one right above this? I ate a lot of cake.
- It was friggin awesome outside.
Is this something that will be continued?
- Random road trips and mental vacations are phenomenal.
- Yes, I will continue meeting new people and going to dance things. Most of my friends know how overly social I am and they also know I really reeeaallly like dancing.
- Well, I probably will not get to judge it too often. I would do it again.
- Working out, yes. Working out twice in one day, not unless I have to lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time.
- YES!!
Are there any negatives to this?
- Yes. Traveling alone can be dangerous if you are not careful. Also, thinking too much can be dangerous to your mental/emotional health. Luckily the drive there was great because all I did was listen to music and was able to just not think for 4 hours. It was fantastic. The trip back is a bit different. I started thinking a little too much and ended up praying the rest of the way back about pretty much anything that came to mind. It was good and God gave me a sweet opportunity to just go. Love it!
- Cow pies... well horse pies because there were no cows. As long as you didn't step in those you were fine.
- Diabetes, I think this was developed this on Sunday.
- Death, which is what I felt like.
- Can't think of many. Well unless I get stung by bugs. Other than that all good.
Things I learned from my trip to Texas...
You may not be able to judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a bathroom based on the outer appearance of the establishment.
Sign: "Underage drinking and driving; zero tolerance!" - Who knew if you are of age drinking and driving is tolerated?!
Pictures
Thursday, March 8, 2012
31 Day March - Days 7 and 8
Day-7-8 Oooopppsssyy!
What's new today?
Day 7- Had dinner with someone I don't really know. Well I didn't know her very well but I know her a little better now :)
Day 8- Went to a haunted location in Jonesboro...
How is this new?
I enjoy people. God made each person unique for a reason and I love getting to experience that in others. So it was new because she is someone Idon't didn't know very well. So it is new because she was new for me to get to know.
I don't like scary things so for me to go to Kellers Chapel was a big step in my spontaneity.
Why this?
Because I love people!
No idea... but I was glad I had a friend with me. Makes things like that easier.
Is this something that will be continued?
YES!! Getting to know people is precious to me and I hope to keep doing it as long as the Lord allows.
Only if there is a dude with me. No way I could do that without a guy. ... heck no techno not alone.
Are there any negatives to this?
Getting to know people? No ... not that I know of, well unless one of them kills me and then I get to see Jesus. Haha!
Yes, being scared to my wits end... NEGATIVO
Super excited about tomorrows!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to share it with you :)
What's new today?
Day 7- Had dinner with someone I don't really know. Well I didn't know her very well but I know her a little better now :)
Day 8- Went to a haunted location in Jonesboro...
How is this new?
I enjoy people. God made each person unique for a reason and I love getting to experience that in others. So it was new because she is someone I
I don't like scary things so for me to go to Kellers Chapel was a big step in my spontaneity.
Why this?
Because I love people!
No idea... but I was glad I had a friend with me. Makes things like that easier.
Is this something that will be continued?
YES!! Getting to know people is precious to me and I hope to keep doing it as long as the Lord allows.
Only if there is a dude with me. No way I could do that without a guy. ... heck no techno not alone.
Are there any negatives to this?
Getting to know people? No ... not that I know of, well unless one of them kills me and then I get to see Jesus. Haha!
Yes, being scared to my wits end... NEGATIVO
Super excited about tomorrows!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to share it with you :)
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
31 day March - Day 6
Day-6
What's new today?
Today I quit, gave up, or whatever you want to call it on the raw food thing. Yes, I am a quitter.
Also, I had a really bad day, but that is relative to what we each call bad. For me, it was a bad day. So I started writing out what was bothering me or why it was bad and wrote out what could be done to fix it so I am not sulking.
How is this new?
I usually try not to give up on things, especially small things like changing my diet. However, everything seemed so ridiculously overwhelming today so I needed normal and decided to go back to normal. Also realized it probably means I have very little self-control when it comes to food and need to work on that. (Sadly means I may have self-control issues in other areas... like my alarm clock ... that need to be worked on).
When things seem to be bad I usually pray about them, this helped me organize out how to pray and what to pray about specifically. It really reminded me I am not in control, God is the ultimate controller of the universe.
Why this?
Comfort food, when having a bad day comfort food really does comfort. Like I said, I have food issues to work through.
Well, it really helped me work through issues to write things down. Not going to lie, I had 1 page front and back, small print, of what was bothering me and what caused the issues along with how it could be fixed. With each thing I saw that although I made a mistake of not calling this person or not having this ready or out or done, I could not be in control of how others handled the situation. My responsibility is myself. My actions today were far from where they should be, but like I said I saw a lot of things in my life where I had to surrender not being in control. He knew what was going to happen before I ever made the mistakes.
Is this something that will be continued?
Quitting, I hope not. I don't want to be a quitter unless I am quitting bad habits. Not sure what habits I have that are "bad" but there are so many things in my life that need to be worked on, like most people.
Yes, this really seemed to help today. It is also now in my journal so I can look back in a year or so and see how juvenile my "problems" were. :) This also showed me I don't need to beat myself up as much as I do, things can be worked out and dealt with and I just need to sit down and work through them. Beating myself up will get me no where except more upset.
Are there any negatives to this?
Quitting, heck yes there are... Please don't make me tell you why. I hope you know why quitting has negatives.
Not really, well unless I lose my journal and it ends up in the wrong hands. Then I might be having some interesting conversations. However, it helped me see that each situation was something that could be avoided (well in most cases) and what I could do in the future to avoid those.
God has really been good to me and has begun showing me more of Him through this month. Super thankful for my friends who have encouraged me lately (even today ...). God has truly blessed me with great friends. - Random add on, this is true but I am truly grateful.
What's new today?
Today I quit, gave up, or whatever you want to call it on the raw food thing. Yes, I am a quitter.
Also, I had a really bad day, but that is relative to what we each call bad. For me, it was a bad day. So I started writing out what was bothering me or why it was bad and wrote out what could be done to fix it so I am not sulking.
How is this new?
I usually try not to give up on things, especially small things like changing my diet. However, everything seemed so ridiculously overwhelming today so I needed normal and decided to go back to normal. Also realized it probably means I have very little self-control when it comes to food and need to work on that. (Sadly means I may have self-control issues in other areas... like my alarm clock ... that need to be worked on).
When things seem to be bad I usually pray about them, this helped me organize out how to pray and what to pray about specifically. It really reminded me I am not in control, God is the ultimate controller of the universe.
Why this?
Comfort food, when having a bad day comfort food really does comfort. Like I said, I have food issues to work through.
Well, it really helped me work through issues to write things down. Not going to lie, I had 1 page front and back, small print, of what was bothering me and what caused the issues along with how it could be fixed. With each thing I saw that although I made a mistake of not calling this person or not having this ready or out or done, I could not be in control of how others handled the situation. My responsibility is myself. My actions today were far from where they should be, but like I said I saw a lot of things in my life where I had to surrender not being in control. He knew what was going to happen before I ever made the mistakes.
Is this something that will be continued?
Quitting, I hope not. I don't want to be a quitter unless I am quitting bad habits. Not sure what habits I have that are "bad" but there are so many things in my life that need to be worked on, like most people.
Yes, this really seemed to help today. It is also now in my journal so I can look back in a year or so and see how juvenile my "problems" were. :) This also showed me I don't need to beat myself up as much as I do, things can be worked out and dealt with and I just need to sit down and work through them. Beating myself up will get me no where except more upset.
Are there any negatives to this?
Quitting, heck yes there are... Please don't make me tell you why. I hope you know why quitting has negatives.
Not really, well unless I lose my journal and it ends up in the wrong hands. Then I might be having some interesting conversations. However, it helped me see that each situation was something that could be avoided (well in most cases) and what I could do in the future to avoid those.
God has really been good to me and has begun showing me more of Him through this month. Super thankful for my friends who have encouraged me lately (even today ...). God has truly blessed me with great friends. - Random add on, this is true but I am truly grateful.
Monday, March 5, 2012
31 Day March- Day 5
Day-5
What's new today?
Dried fruit
Wild goose chase for carob chips
How is this new?
Well I like food, found out today I don't like dried fruit. Not to say that I can't ever Luke it, but it just didnt taste great.
Until today I had no idea what carob chips, powder, chunks, etc. were. Google it!
Why this?
After a conversation with a friend I had almost resolved to go try a few new vegetables. I found myself standing in front of several vegetables asking myself if I really wanted to try them right them. The answer was no. I stood there for probably 5 minutes before deciding to go find something else new to try. When I couldn't find carob things I decided on dried fruit. My thought was, "it is fruit, only dried ... It has to be good." Well I go the kind with no additives, no preservatives, and no sugar just plain old dried fruit. So I ended up with pineapple and banana. Let's just say I know a few people who will be happy with me tomorrow since it will wind up in their offices. Just didn't like the taste or texture. Having a hard time overcoming the texture thing.
I went to a couple of places this evening to find carob chips, it is the raw food version of chocolate. It is only day 2 of raw food eating and I am practically desperate for chocolate. This is a problem because it sadly proves to me my self proclaimed addiction. Not proud of this addiction, or any addiction (not that I have many addictions- hole digging just getting deeper). Anyway I couldn't find carob chips and am now going to put out a city wide search on them.
Is this something that will be continued?
Yes, I mean I am going to keep trying new things (including dried fruits- craisins are fantastic!)
I am definitely going to continue my search for carob chips. I mean come on, really, why wouldn't I?
Are there any negatives to this?
Yes, I am realizing my sad addiction to food. Which is funny because before I started this whole March thing I was noticing food no longer was satisfying. Nothing sounded good to eat anymore and yet I kept shoving it in my face. It reminded me that we are all creatures of habit and sometimes when we don't know what else to do we do what is habitual for us. Like food, we may not know what we want to eat because we are "kind of hungry" or in the "I could eat" mood. So in these cases we choose something primarily out of habit. We aren't literally starving like some African children, we aren't in a major famine where it is hard to get fresh produce and eat in a manner that will benefit our bodies, we aren't so poor that we don't know where our next meal is coming from. God has blessed so many of us to have the things we have and yet we find ourselves addicted to them, including food. It is so easy for us to be distracted by what we have and ignore what others do not have when we can easily provide that for them.
The main draw back to forcing myself to eat fresh raw foods is the little voice in the back of my head that reminds me this is how God intended it on being. It wasnt until after the flood that God granted permission to people to eat meat. Have you ever thought about that? Adam and Eve and Seth and Enoch and all of the others at this time were actually vegitarians until the flood. Trust me, I am not going to become a vegitarian after this, God gave us free reign on meant and meant is good! What I am saying is not everything we put in our bodies is healthy and we should do a better job of taking care of the temple God has given us to be stewards of for the time we have here.
PS Didn't mean to be on a soap box on the end there, oops!
What's new today?
Dried fruit
Wild goose chase for carob chips
How is this new?
Well I like food, found out today I don't like dried fruit. Not to say that I can't ever Luke it, but it just didnt taste great.
Until today I had no idea what carob chips, powder, chunks, etc. were. Google it!
Why this?
After a conversation with a friend I had almost resolved to go try a few new vegetables. I found myself standing in front of several vegetables asking myself if I really wanted to try them right them. The answer was no. I stood there for probably 5 minutes before deciding to go find something else new to try. When I couldn't find carob things I decided on dried fruit. My thought was, "it is fruit, only dried ... It has to be good." Well I go the kind with no additives, no preservatives, and no sugar just plain old dried fruit. So I ended up with pineapple and banana. Let's just say I know a few people who will be happy with me tomorrow since it will wind up in their offices. Just didn't like the taste or texture. Having a hard time overcoming the texture thing.
I went to a couple of places this evening to find carob chips, it is the raw food version of chocolate. It is only day 2 of raw food eating and I am practically desperate for chocolate. This is a problem because it sadly proves to me my self proclaimed addiction. Not proud of this addiction, or any addiction (not that I have many addictions- hole digging just getting deeper). Anyway I couldn't find carob chips and am now going to put out a city wide search on them.
Is this something that will be continued?
Yes, I mean I am going to keep trying new things (including dried fruits- craisins are fantastic!)
I am definitely going to continue my search for carob chips. I mean come on, really, why wouldn't I?
Are there any negatives to this?
Yes, I am realizing my sad addiction to food. Which is funny because before I started this whole March thing I was noticing food no longer was satisfying. Nothing sounded good to eat anymore and yet I kept shoving it in my face. It reminded me that we are all creatures of habit and sometimes when we don't know what else to do we do what is habitual for us. Like food, we may not know what we want to eat because we are "kind of hungry" or in the "I could eat" mood. So in these cases we choose something primarily out of habit. We aren't literally starving like some African children, we aren't in a major famine where it is hard to get fresh produce and eat in a manner that will benefit our bodies, we aren't so poor that we don't know where our next meal is coming from. God has blessed so many of us to have the things we have and yet we find ourselves addicted to them, including food. It is so easy for us to be distracted by what we have and ignore what others do not have when we can easily provide that for them.
The main draw back to forcing myself to eat fresh raw foods is the little voice in the back of my head that reminds me this is how God intended it on being. It wasnt until after the flood that God granted permission to people to eat meat. Have you ever thought about that? Adam and Eve and Seth and Enoch and all of the others at this time were actually vegitarians until the flood. Trust me, I am not going to become a vegitarian after this, God gave us free reign on meant and meant is good! What I am saying is not everything we put in our bodies is healthy and we should do a better job of taking care of the temple God has given us to be stewards of for the time we have here.
PS Didn't mean to be on a soap box on the end there, oops!
31 Day March - Day 4
Day-4 Yes, I know .... this is late
What's new today?
Raw food diet ...
Only purchasing said raw food grown in the US.
How is this new?
I usually eat anything I can put my hands on, mainly because I LOVE food.
I pretty much just grab whatever is close and don't think twice.
Why this?
Well, it gives my body a break from harsh chemicals, processed foods, and whatever else is in our food. It also is teaching me self-control. I love food, and with that love comes me eating anything I can get my hands on. Yes, I am a foodie. It will also help me appreciate the things I eat.
Buying fresh foods grown in America supports our farmers and our agriculture. Also, fruits and vegetables from other countries may or may not meet the standards of the FDA ... Also, it is just an experiment for 7 days.
Is this something that will be continued?
Yes. I could see myself making a habit raw food diets. This one is for 7 days and I am excited to see how it goes. In doing this I began researching why raw food diets. There are so many things that show how much better for you it is to eat raw foods than processed and packaged foods. I think we all know this somewhere in the back of our minds but it is nice to be reminded.
Buying things only made/grown in the US is really difficult but it is good to support ourselves, so yes.
Are there any negatives to this?
Not unless I eat a bad piece of fruit or veggie...
This is really difficult. Mainly because when I decided to do this I said I would only buy things grown in the US. Do you know how hard it is to only buy fruits and vegetables grown in the US? You should try to do it...that proved more difficult than I thought.
What's new today?
Raw food diet ...
Only purchasing said raw food grown in the US.
How is this new?
I usually eat anything I can put my hands on, mainly because I LOVE food.
I pretty much just grab whatever is close and don't think twice.
Why this?
Well, it gives my body a break from harsh chemicals, processed foods, and whatever else is in our food. It also is teaching me self-control. I love food, and with that love comes me eating anything I can get my hands on. Yes, I am a foodie. It will also help me appreciate the things I eat.
Buying fresh foods grown in America supports our farmers and our agriculture. Also, fruits and vegetables from other countries may or may not meet the standards of the FDA ... Also, it is just an experiment for 7 days.
Is this something that will be continued?
Yes. I could see myself making a habit raw food diets. This one is for 7 days and I am excited to see how it goes. In doing this I began researching why raw food diets. There are so many things that show how much better for you it is to eat raw foods than processed and packaged foods. I think we all know this somewhere in the back of our minds but it is nice to be reminded.
Buying things only made/grown in the US is really difficult but it is good to support ourselves, so yes.
Are there any negatives to this?
Not unless I eat a bad piece of fruit or veggie...
This is really difficult. Mainly because when I decided to do this I said I would only buy things grown in the US. Do you know how hard it is to only buy fruits and vegetables grown in the US? You should try to do it...that proved more difficult than I thought.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
31 Day March - Day 3
Day 3
What's new?
I bought my first piece of luggage today. Also went on a long drive alone.
How is this new?
Well other than the luggage I bought today I only own a large duffle bag that was given to me as a birthday gift last year because I owned no other luggage. So yeah that's new. It also signifies my trip to Italy is soon! Yay!!
The long drive... Well I enjoy long drives and stars. So I decided to drive with no destination in mind.
Why this?
I am going to Italy for spring break and planning to make traveling a habit (if God will let me).
Drives are good for many things: thinking, clearing the mind, absent minded activity, etc. It was really relaxing and enjoyable.
Is this something that will be continued?
Heck yes! If God will let me travel more, I will continue this. My heart is in a country I have not yet visited but there is something about it that He has drawn me to. Just like when you meet someone and you KNOW you are going to marry them, it is like that. It is something you just can't explain but know you love it because you are supposed to. No idea how to put that into words. I tried though.
Long drives will be continued either alone or with a friend. Long drives are lovely.
Are there any negatives?
Yes, traveling can be like a drug, it is addictive. Not only is it addictive but it can make a person discontent in everyday life.
Drives cost money and with gas being so expensive I should just invest in good walking shoes and go for long walks as opposed to long drives.
Well I am writing this on my phone which is proving to be an annoyance so I going to stop here...
What's new?
I bought my first piece of luggage today. Also went on a long drive alone.
How is this new?
Well other than the luggage I bought today I only own a large duffle bag that was given to me as a birthday gift last year because I owned no other luggage. So yeah that's new. It also signifies my trip to Italy is soon! Yay!!
The long drive... Well I enjoy long drives and stars. So I decided to drive with no destination in mind.
Why this?
I am going to Italy for spring break and planning to make traveling a habit (if God will let me).
Drives are good for many things: thinking, clearing the mind, absent minded activity, etc. It was really relaxing and enjoyable.
Is this something that will be continued?
Heck yes! If God will let me travel more, I will continue this. My heart is in a country I have not yet visited but there is something about it that He has drawn me to. Just like when you meet someone and you KNOW you are going to marry them, it is like that. It is something you just can't explain but know you love it because you are supposed to. No idea how to put that into words. I tried though.
Long drives will be continued either alone or with a friend. Long drives are lovely.
Are there any negatives?
Yes, traveling can be like a drug, it is addictive. Not only is it addictive but it can make a person discontent in everyday life.
Drives cost money and with gas being so expensive I should just invest in good walking shoes and go for long walks as opposed to long drives.
Well I am writing this on my phone which is proving to be an annoyance so I going to stop here...
Friday, March 2, 2012
31 Day March - Day 2
Day-2
What's new today?
Trying new food. Today for lunch I went to my favorite Mexican restaurant, Don Jose, with a couple of girl friends/co-workers. Dinner was with a colleague at a local Thai restaurant, Sai Thai.
How is this new?
Usually when I go to any restaurant I choose the same thing every time. This time I had to order something I haven't ever ordered before. This is easily done since I have a usual at both places. At Don Jose I ordered a chicken taco. This sounds lame but if you know me at all, I hate tacos. Lately I have come to realize it is because of past work experience at Taco Bell (just hated the food there). It was really good, I was impressed.
At Sai Thai I ordered the Massamun Curry, it had chicken and pineapple with red curry paste. Oh my gosh it was goodness in my mouth! I have a new favorite. There are pictures below. I also ordered egg rolls, this too is also not normal for me because I used to despise egg rolls. Oh and did I mention I ate white rice with this and not fried? Yes I did... fan-friggin-tastic.
Why this?
Well, I knew I would be going out to eat for dinner so I figured it would be the easiest way to do something new (yes, I went with convenience on this one and yesterdays...). Also, I really like food a lot. If good food were a man I would not be single.
Is this something that will be continued?
Yes. Something that I have been learning lately is that I cannot fear change or new things. If I fear them and avoid them then I am potentially missing out on something great. I would have never known that Massamun Curry would taste so fantastic if I wouldn't have tried it tonight.
Are there any negatives to this?
I could easily become really obese. God made food taste good and I love God and also food... Problems could come from this
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Change is some times a good thing ... in this case it was a very good thing
What's new today?
Trying new food. Today for lunch I went to my favorite Mexican restaurant, Don Jose, with a couple of girl friends/co-workers. Dinner was with a colleague at a local Thai restaurant, Sai Thai.
How is this new?
Usually when I go to any restaurant I choose the same thing every time. This time I had to order something I haven't ever ordered before. This is easily done since I have a usual at both places. At Don Jose I ordered a chicken taco. This sounds lame but if you know me at all, I hate tacos. Lately I have come to realize it is because of past work experience at Taco Bell (just hated the food there). It was really good, I was impressed.
At Sai Thai I ordered the Massamun Curry, it had chicken and pineapple with red curry paste. Oh my gosh it was goodness in my mouth! I have a new favorite. There are pictures below. I also ordered egg rolls, this too is also not normal for me because I used to despise egg rolls. Oh and did I mention I ate white rice with this and not fried? Yes I did... fan-friggin-tastic.
Why this?
Well, I knew I would be going out to eat for dinner so I figured it would be the easiest way to do something new (yes, I went with convenience on this one and yesterdays...). Also, I really like food a lot. If good food were a man I would not be single.
Is this something that will be continued?
Yes. Something that I have been learning lately is that I cannot fear change or new things. If I fear them and avoid them then I am potentially missing out on something great. I would have never known that Massamun Curry would taste so fantastic if I wouldn't have tried it tonight.
Are there any negatives to this?
I could easily become really obese. God made food taste good and I love God and also food... Problems could come from this
Change is some times a good thing ... in this case it was a very good thing
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