The Action in Waiting

Lately my heart has had this gnawing feeling. It is a feeling that I cannot shake, nor do I want to. It is that constant desire to leave everything that I know and everything that is comfortable and go to a new place. A place where nothing is familiar except the scenes from pictures I have looked at and movies I have watched. It is a feeling that I want to go to a place where everyone and everything is new. My heart beats a little faster and my mind wanders at the simple mention of a new place. What would it be like there? Who would I meet? What new things would I try? What are the names of the streets I might walk upon?

Home is not my home. When I leave town I always feel like I am going home. When I am coming back I feel like I am a stranger in a sea of familiar faces. I am more comfortable in a crowd of strangers than in a group of the familiars I have known for so long.

Then, as if God is audibly speaking to me I hear, "Not now my child. That time shall come. Be patient. Look where I have you. Be here. Live here. Love here. Wait for me. Do not get ahead of yourself." It is the words of a dear friend I continue to hear ringing in my mind: "God has not forgotten you. He is not skipping over you. He has a plan that will be far better than you or I could ever imagine."

As I read through scripture I am constantly reminded of the superior plans of God and the lacking plans of man. In Proverbs there are a few verses that say this explicitly.

"The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD."Proverbs 16:1 

"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."Proverbs 16:9

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.Proverbs 19:21

"The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out."Proverbs 20:5

Then there are stories upon stories of how man planned things, God changed the plan, man was obedient (or disobedient in Jonah's case), and God was glorified. For so long I have had grand plans to do things, to go places, to live a certain way and now I am beginning to watch God change those plans. He has answered the many prayers I have prayed and has shown me the path to take. As for now, I sit and wait. Waiting is sometimes the hardest part.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"
Psalm 27:14

"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!"

Psalm 37:7

"I waited patiently for the LORD; He inclined to me and heard my cry."

Psalm 40:1

"For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation... For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him...Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."

Psalm 62:1-8

"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning."
Psalm 130:5

Waiting is the hardest part, but what is the proverb we have heard all of our lives? Oh yeah: "Good things come to those who wait." My heart has a gnawing desire that I cannot shake. I do not want to make it go away. So for now; I wait. I only pray that I can wait patiently and wait prayerfully. Waiting doesn't mean that I am sitting around twiddling my thumbs. Waiting is full of action. It is the action to fulfill what I am to be doing here. The actions to live, love, and learn. Waiting is a willingness to be preoccupied toiling in other ways in other places until the Lord takes me to a new place.