Hopefully by now everyone knows who Todd Akin is and what he said. If not, here is a link (this provides the information from the day of the statement as well as the events there-after his statement).
Todd Akin claimed if a woman is raped her body will not allow the reproductive organs to work, therefore not allowing her to produce children from the attack. He said that this was only true during a "legitimate" attack. He has now gone back on what he said and recognizes that this is not biologically possible, however, he actually believed this. The fact that he said this in an interview, not knowing the statistics proving him incorrect - well, that just makes him ignorant. Ignorance is not necessarily blissful when looking at it from his stand point. At least not as of late. Being ignorant of a speed limit and ignorant of our own biology, those are two completely separate things.
Today, I sent an email to two friends. Both have worked in our office at one point and time. The email had a picture of Rep. Akin and written across it read, "If you get shot, and it is a legitimate shooting...then the body has ways to automatically seal the bullet hole, kind of like Wolverine". This is ridiculous. If you didn't know, your body will not do this. You are not Wolverine. He is a fictional character. One of the two decided to post in on a social media site. This sparked a family debate (my bad...). One of the comments included: "Violent crime, rape, or otherwise isn't funny. It's sick." The person had previously said my friend was in the wrong for posting the picture and then proceeded to post the comment just mentioned. The picture is humorous because of the ridiculous thought that someone's body could "have ways to seal the bullet hole". Rep. Akin's statement was far more ridiculous than the picture posted, because he said it believing it to be true. Part of me wants to send him a biology book I used in 7th grade. That would not be loving or graceful as I wrote about 5 minutes ago.
There are thousands of women every year that are raped and a child is conceived from the violent crime that took place not just against them but in them. These women make very difficult decisions everyday in regards to this. My own account is not nearly as traumatic as living with a child as the result. To the women who have been molested, raped, etc. they do not enjoy hearing that their bodies will naturally prevent this from becoming a child, especially the ones who have had to come to terms with their rape resulting in pregnancy. Rape is not a joking matter, my friend's family member is right, rape is not funny. When people tell rape jokes or even use the word I shut down and want to push everyone that is near out of the way and hide. Thinking about women who have gone through far worse than I... my heart breaks. This is not something that should happen, but it does. All we can do is move forward as a society and help those we are around.
Be careful how you use the word rape. Be careful the jokes you let slip or the words you choose to say. You never know who is overhearing your conversation with their heart breaking inside their chest.
I am grateful Rep. Akin issued an apology and has maybe read a biology book as of late. However, as a society we are so easily side tracked by the next movement or the next "cool" thing to support. We forget that there are actually people who live with this everyday. The tsunami victims in Japan didn't just get over losing everything they had. They are still learning to cope. The Katrina victims still have the memories and the lost family members. Hurricane Isaac is coming to shore and taking a very similar path to that of Katrina. Katrina is probably still fresh on their minds, they are still living the nightmare they call their daily life. Those who lived through 9/11 still get worried when an airplane seems to be flying too low. West Side School shooting victims still get nervous when fire alarms are pulled. They are just waiting to see if someone is waiting outside with ammunition wanting to pick them off one by one. Rape victims are afraid of the dark. Afraid to walk to their cars at night even in a well lit parking lot, wondering if there is someone waiting near their car for them. Questioning the trust worthiness of every man they meet. We forget that there are actually people tied to the things we consider a hip thing to support or the next movement to follow.
Next time you decide you want to support a group or movement, find people who were affected before the group formed. Hear their stories. Weep with them. Rejoice with them. Love them. Become part of their life and never forget them. Remember that they have the scars you do not have (hopefully). Don't do it because you think it is cool. Do it for something much more than that. Rep. Akin may have slipped in what he said, do not let your actions show the same ignorance of his words.
Showing posts with label Current Events. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Current Events. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Scandalous
Occasionally a couple of my friends and myself will have controversial conversations about current events or "trending" topics. Today one of them started off with the following link (click here). To understand this post you must first read the link, if you just read this with out reading that... well you might be confused.
A Christian university that has an LGBT group, how does that translate according to biblical standards/principles? Here is my take on it, and a few quotes of theirs.
Biblically homosexuality is a sin, so is sex before marriage, taking God's name in vain, dishonoring one's parents, and the list keeps going. These things are "normal" and accepted in our world today. Scripture says we are born into sin (Psalm 51:5 "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me."). We are not born Christians. We are born with a desire to be sinful. We want to rebel against our parents and other authority; we want to swear and drink and have premarital sex... Everything we aren't supposed to do is what we want to do. It literally takes an act of God to change us. People are tempted in different ways. Jesus, for example, fasted for 40 days. Satan tempted Him with turning a rock into bread to meet His physical needs (Matthew 4:1-11). Satan tempted Him in His weakest moment. When we are hungry or desperate for something we will do almost anything to get that thing, whatever "it" is. In 1991 a woman hired a hit man to kill her daughter's cheerleading rival to insure her own daughter would be on the cheerleading squad. Not all people's sin is that open, but when God comes in and truly changes someone's life, they are changed forever.
Think about it this way, if your co-worker/friend/spouse/etc runs in and says, "I'm so sorry I am late! I just got hit by a semi-truck and it took forever to get out of there." You would not believe him. Why is that? Because that person would look drastically different, and would possibly be dead. When someone is changed by God he will not appear the same. The physical appearance may not change but everything else about the person begins to change. If someone has homosexual tendencies and then comes to know the Lord that person will be changed. It may not be immediate, but change takes place in that person's life. The more this person spends time with the Lord the more the person sees that it is not spiritually natural to have that desire. Then the person will begin to seek God even more for Him to transform his heart. The person begins to want to desire what God desires. Christ's purpose was to spread the gospel and make His name known throughout the world. His second command to Adam and Eve was to be fruitful and multiply and fill the Earth. Why were they to do this? What was the point? It was to spread the name of the Lord. They knew what was good and evil. There were only two options, good and evil. It was not good and bad, rather good and evil.
Sin is evil. When we lie, that is evil. When we get drunk, that is evil. When we... do anything that goes against God's law, it is evil. God is perfectly forgiving. God is also perfectly just. Think about it this way, if a convicted murderer was called in by a judge and was told he was being set free. He was forgiven of his charges and was free to go. Everyone (and they mama) would be in an uproar. We would call that judge all sorts of crazy things. So why should we expect the same from God? God sent His Son to die for each of us so that we might have hope in Him. As a Christian/Follower of Christ we are to look different than the world. We are not to go out of our way to look different, but we are not to be of this world. We are just living in it temporarily until we are allowed to go "home". We are citizens of heaven, if we are followers of Christ. As a citizen of heaven our citizenship looks much different than those of the world. Homosexuality, sexual immorality, etc. fit into that category as well. Although we are not to participate in such, we are called to love them. There is a time to rebuke and a time to love. We can still love others while recognizing their actions are sinful. Many people believe that by thinking something is wrong we have to push our own agenda on others, even if we think that agenda is "the right one". Christ did not do that. He loved others and shared truth with them. He was the harshest on the religious people (read the New Testament to see more on this and what He said to the Pharisees).
I, like everyone else, am very sinful. Do people treat me like a leper or stand outside my house with signs and shouting things at me? No. Why should we be doing that to people who claim homosexuality? Shouldn't we show them love and respect? John 8:2-11 talks about the woman caught in adultery.
"Early in the morning He came again to the temple. All the people came to Him, and He sat down and tuaght them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to Him, 'Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do You say?' This they said to test Him, that they might have some charge to bring against Him. Jesus bent down and wrote with His finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask Him, He stood up and said to them, 'Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.' And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before Him. Jesus stood up and said to her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' She Said, 'No one, Lord.' And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.'"
He did not condemn her, He loved her. In His love for her He let her go and told her to "sin no more". We do not have the authority to tell others "go and sin no more" but we have the ability to love and respect. I was not there so I cannot tell you the level of His compassion or the depth of His kindness. I can tell you that scripture shows that He loved her enough to protect her from the harm of others and the harm of herself. If we are called to be like Christ (Christian means little Christ), aren't we called to love like Christ? Aren't we called to respect? Aren't we called to tell others about Christ? Yes.
Recently there was an article published about a pastor in North Carolina. This particular pastor told his congregation if their children start showing signs of homosexuality they should "beat" them. This is not what God has called us to. Christ washed the feet of the man who would betray Him. He ate with tax collectors and prostitutes. When was the last time you spoke to someone who was highly hated in your community? When was the last time you offered to eat a meal with a prostitute or someone society looks down upon?
In the community group I attend we spoke about lepers. Not just leprous people but people we consider outcasts in society. Think about who you consider an outcast and pray for them. Not just pray for them but take actions that show Christ love to them. Our community group leader asked us what do those around us begin to believe about us when we start reaching out to the "lepers" of our society? After thinking about it I said, "we become the lepers". We really do, it is not common practice to treat others with love and respect when we do not like what they are doing or when they are not doing what society approves of.
I dare you, reach out to your local leper. We are sinful, we are born into sin. So why not love the other sinners and treat them the way Christ did?
A Christian university that has an LGBT group, how does that translate according to biblical standards/principles? Here is my take on it, and a few quotes of theirs.
Biblically homosexuality is a sin, so is sex before marriage, taking God's name in vain, dishonoring one's parents, and the list keeps going. These things are "normal" and accepted in our world today. Scripture says we are born into sin (Psalm 51:5 "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me."). We are not born Christians. We are born with a desire to be sinful. We want to rebel against our parents and other authority; we want to swear and drink and have premarital sex... Everything we aren't supposed to do is what we want to do. It literally takes an act of God to change us. People are tempted in different ways. Jesus, for example, fasted for 40 days. Satan tempted Him with turning a rock into bread to meet His physical needs (Matthew 4:1-11). Satan tempted Him in His weakest moment. When we are hungry or desperate for something we will do almost anything to get that thing, whatever "it" is. In 1991 a woman hired a hit man to kill her daughter's cheerleading rival to insure her own daughter would be on the cheerleading squad. Not all people's sin is that open, but when God comes in and truly changes someone's life, they are changed forever.
Think about it this way, if your co-worker/friend/spouse/etc runs in and says, "I'm so sorry I am late! I just got hit by a semi-truck and it took forever to get out of there." You would not believe him. Why is that? Because that person would look drastically different, and would possibly be dead. When someone is changed by God he will not appear the same. The physical appearance may not change but everything else about the person begins to change. If someone has homosexual tendencies and then comes to know the Lord that person will be changed. It may not be immediate, but change takes place in that person's life. The more this person spends time with the Lord the more the person sees that it is not spiritually natural to have that desire. Then the person will begin to seek God even more for Him to transform his heart. The person begins to want to desire what God desires. Christ's purpose was to spread the gospel and make His name known throughout the world. His second command to Adam and Eve was to be fruitful and multiply and fill the Earth. Why were they to do this? What was the point? It was to spread the name of the Lord. They knew what was good and evil. There were only two options, good and evil. It was not good and bad, rather good and evil.
Sin is evil. When we lie, that is evil. When we get drunk, that is evil. When we... do anything that goes against God's law, it is evil. God is perfectly forgiving. God is also perfectly just. Think about it this way, if a convicted murderer was called in by a judge and was told he was being set free. He was forgiven of his charges and was free to go. Everyone (and they mama) would be in an uproar. We would call that judge all sorts of crazy things. So why should we expect the same from God? God sent His Son to die for each of us so that we might have hope in Him. As a Christian/Follower of Christ we are to look different than the world. We are not to go out of our way to look different, but we are not to be of this world. We are just living in it temporarily until we are allowed to go "home". We are citizens of heaven, if we are followers of Christ. As a citizen of heaven our citizenship looks much different than those of the world. Homosexuality, sexual immorality, etc. fit into that category as well. Although we are not to participate in such, we are called to love them. There is a time to rebuke and a time to love. We can still love others while recognizing their actions are sinful. Many people believe that by thinking something is wrong we have to push our own agenda on others, even if we think that agenda is "the right one". Christ did not do that. He loved others and shared truth with them. He was the harshest on the religious people (read the New Testament to see more on this and what He said to the Pharisees).
I, like everyone else, am very sinful. Do people treat me like a leper or stand outside my house with signs and shouting things at me? No. Why should we be doing that to people who claim homosexuality? Shouldn't we show them love and respect? John 8:2-11 talks about the woman caught in adultery.
"Early in the morning He came again to the temple. All the people came to Him, and He sat down and tuaght them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to Him, 'Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do You say?' This they said to test Him, that they might have some charge to bring against Him. Jesus bent down and wrote with His finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask Him, He stood up and said to them, 'Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.' And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before Him. Jesus stood up and said to her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' She Said, 'No one, Lord.' And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.'"
He did not condemn her, He loved her. In His love for her He let her go and told her to "sin no more". We do not have the authority to tell others "go and sin no more" but we have the ability to love and respect. I was not there so I cannot tell you the level of His compassion or the depth of His kindness. I can tell you that scripture shows that He loved her enough to protect her from the harm of others and the harm of herself. If we are called to be like Christ (Christian means little Christ), aren't we called to love like Christ? Aren't we called to respect? Aren't we called to tell others about Christ? Yes.
Recently there was an article published about a pastor in North Carolina. This particular pastor told his congregation if their children start showing signs of homosexuality they should "beat" them. This is not what God has called us to. Christ washed the feet of the man who would betray Him. He ate with tax collectors and prostitutes. When was the last time you spoke to someone who was highly hated in your community? When was the last time you offered to eat a meal with a prostitute or someone society looks down upon?
In the community group I attend we spoke about lepers. Not just leprous people but people we consider outcasts in society. Think about who you consider an outcast and pray for them. Not just pray for them but take actions that show Christ love to them. Our community group leader asked us what do those around us begin to believe about us when we start reaching out to the "lepers" of our society? After thinking about it I said, "we become the lepers". We really do, it is not common practice to treat others with love and respect when we do not like what they are doing or when they are not doing what society approves of.
I dare you, reach out to your local leper. We are sinful, we are born into sin. So why not love the other sinners and treat them the way Christ did?
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Islamophobia?
This week Arkansas State University had Zahra Billoo, J.D. speak two nights in their Lecture-Concert series. She gave two talks; the first was titled "Know Your Rights," and the second "Islamophobia." I was only able to attend the second lecture, however, I walked away feeling more knowledgeable. So I want to share some of that with you, whoever you may be. I wish I would have been able to attend Zahra's first lecture, however, I am only able to report on what I have heard and the research I have done.
So what is Islamophobia? Islamophobia is the closed minded hatred toward Muslims/Islam. Pre-9/11 Muslims did not scare most Americans the way there mere presence seemed to frighten us post-9/11. I have come to realize, after having worked with students from over 70 countries and various backgrounds, that just because someone's skin color or religion or birth place is different from my own I should not fear them. Many of my friends are from different parts of the world. Some of my friends are from different parts of the U.S, yet I am not afraid of them because they are like me ... they have had similar experiences with religion and education and family dynamics. For some reason when it comes to people from other countries we tense up and begin to worry. They are different from us, yes this is true; they are not to be feared, just like they should not fear us either.
Think back, way back. Think about the treatment of immigrants when they started coming to the U.S. Think about the treatment of blacks. They were treated differently by whites based on the color of their skin. There is so much to be learned from people of different backgrounds and they have so much they can learn from us as well. The U.S. is a cultural melting pot, we have people from every country, background, and religion you can think of (and some you probably didn't know existed). We discriminate because of a difference that internationals, immigrants, blacks (and anyone else I have forgotten) cannot control. They cannot control their skin color or heritage or culture just like you are not able to control those things. This is how they were born and what they were born into. You were born the same way, yet somehow we have come to the conclusion that one race is better than another.
Zahra reminded us, "Muslims have been in the U.S. since the slave trade." When we go back and look at the history of slavery and the history of the slaves in the U.S. it is easy to see that Muslims were brought over just like everyone else. Islam is very common in Africa, so having slaves from Africa we were bound to have Muslims in the mix. This should come as no shock to me, but for some reason I had to sit and soak this in and remind myself of the truth behind her words. Islam is not a new concept, however "the most talked about religion in the U.S. media is Islam" (Zahra Billoo, J.D.). Islam is seen in a very negative light in the U.S. As a Christian I have read about and have been taught Jesus' ministry. Jesus loved people and had compassion on them. One of the worst things we can do as Christians is treat people as though they are not worth existing. For example: children were walking to the Mosque one Sunday, people lined the sidewalk and stood across the street (some brought their dogs to bark at the children) shouting "Jesus hates you." Zahra said from her studies she has not seen where Christ said he hated anyone. I, too, agree with her statement. Christ had compassion on the crowds. He saw their sin and He knew they were lost. He did not shout obscenities at them as they walked to the Mosque.
Zahra made a very powerful statement, "No matter your religious belief or skin color, we have to get to know each other." Christ has commissioned those who follow Him to "go into all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that He has commanded us," (Matthew 28:16-19). The nations have come to us, yet we are afraid of them and telling others to fear them. This does not show them love or respect in anyway shape or form. There are several things going on in our government right now that do attack religion, Zahra commented on this saying "An attack on anyone's religion and rights to practice that religion is an attack on all of us." She is right, if an American Muslim has their religious freedoms threatened it means a tighter reign on all religions. We may be praying to different gods but they still deserve to be treated with respect.
We are only doing ourselves a disservice by choosing to be ignorant and push such people away. They have so much to teach us about the world and we have so much to teach them. Make friends with internationals, ask them questions, find out about their background ... I dare you. This is something I have been doing for 3 1/2 years and it is nothing less than rewarding. If you never step out and take the chance you will miss out on something truly great, knowledge.
So I dare you to change your ignorance into intelligence. Learn something new today, tomorrow, and everyday after. What do you have to lose?
So what is Islamophobia? Islamophobia is the closed minded hatred toward Muslims/Islam. Pre-9/11 Muslims did not scare most Americans the way there mere presence seemed to frighten us post-9/11. I have come to realize, after having worked with students from over 70 countries and various backgrounds, that just because someone's skin color or religion or birth place is different from my own I should not fear them. Many of my friends are from different parts of the world. Some of my friends are from different parts of the U.S, yet I am not afraid of them because they are like me ... they have had similar experiences with religion and education and family dynamics. For some reason when it comes to people from other countries we tense up and begin to worry. They are different from us, yes this is true; they are not to be feared, just like they should not fear us either.
Think back, way back. Think about the treatment of immigrants when they started coming to the U.S. Think about the treatment of blacks. They were treated differently by whites based on the color of their skin. There is so much to be learned from people of different backgrounds and they have so much they can learn from us as well. The U.S. is a cultural melting pot, we have people from every country, background, and religion you can think of (and some you probably didn't know existed). We discriminate because of a difference that internationals, immigrants, blacks (and anyone else I have forgotten) cannot control. They cannot control their skin color or heritage or culture just like you are not able to control those things. This is how they were born and what they were born into. You were born the same way, yet somehow we have come to the conclusion that one race is better than another.
Zahra reminded us, "Muslims have been in the U.S. since the slave trade." When we go back and look at the history of slavery and the history of the slaves in the U.S. it is easy to see that Muslims were brought over just like everyone else. Islam is very common in Africa, so having slaves from Africa we were bound to have Muslims in the mix. This should come as no shock to me, but for some reason I had to sit and soak this in and remind myself of the truth behind her words. Islam is not a new concept, however "the most talked about religion in the U.S. media is Islam" (Zahra Billoo, J.D.). Islam is seen in a very negative light in the U.S. As a Christian I have read about and have been taught Jesus' ministry. Jesus loved people and had compassion on them. One of the worst things we can do as Christians is treat people as though they are not worth existing. For example: children were walking to the Mosque one Sunday, people lined the sidewalk and stood across the street (some brought their dogs to bark at the children) shouting "Jesus hates you." Zahra said from her studies she has not seen where Christ said he hated anyone. I, too, agree with her statement. Christ had compassion on the crowds. He saw their sin and He knew they were lost. He did not shout obscenities at them as they walked to the Mosque.
Zahra made a very powerful statement, "No matter your religious belief or skin color, we have to get to know each other." Christ has commissioned those who follow Him to "go into all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that He has commanded us," (Matthew 28:16-19). The nations have come to us, yet we are afraid of them and telling others to fear them. This does not show them love or respect in anyway shape or form. There are several things going on in our government right now that do attack religion, Zahra commented on this saying "An attack on anyone's religion and rights to practice that religion is an attack on all of us." She is right, if an American Muslim has their religious freedoms threatened it means a tighter reign on all religions. We may be praying to different gods but they still deserve to be treated with respect.
We are only doing ourselves a disservice by choosing to be ignorant and push such people away. They have so much to teach us about the world and we have so much to teach them. Make friends with internationals, ask them questions, find out about their background ... I dare you. This is something I have been doing for 3 1/2 years and it is nothing less than rewarding. If you never step out and take the chance you will miss out on something truly great, knowledge.
So I dare you to change your ignorance into intelligence. Learn something new today, tomorrow, and everyday after. What do you have to lose?
Friday, January 6, 2012
Forever an Open Wound
Things that make me mad... yes I am going to write about this because it angers me to see things like this happen.
Reading an article today about and Afghan woman being jailed for a "moral crime," the crime you ask? She was raped and became pregnant. She gave birth while in prison. Yes, this really happened. You may have already heard about this, as I am a little behind on things going on in the news these days. But if you haven't here is a link to the article (Click Here). She was pardoned and freed only after agreeing to marry the man who had committed such a heinous crime against her. My thought on this is "that has to be an awful marriage." Can you imagine the distrust and the amount of hatred that is running through the veins of this woman.
Think about if this was you... no seriously, think about it. Your life as you know it stops because you are raped. Then you go to jail because you are considered to be the immoral one here. Then you find out you are pregnant as a result of the whole ordeal. So not only did this happen to you but now you have to carry a baby from an unwanted act against you. You find out after having the baby that you are going to be released from prison on the condition that you marry the man who did this to you and whose baby you had. Now think, how would you feel? How would you feel living day in and day out in a house with this very man? How would you feel living with someone you are supposed to love when you can barely look at them without thinking terrible things about? Put yourself in her shoes long enough to realize that she deals with that pain everyday.
The government in her country sees this as her problem and not the mans. That is what makes me mad. It makes me mad that she is not able to be seen as a victim long enough for her to get help. It also makes me mad that she is probably not the first that this has happened to and she is most definitely not the last.
Having personal experience with this, let me tell you ... living in the same city with the person and being fearful of running into them in public (which happened ... recently - I'll get there in a few words). I never reported what happened to me to police or anyone really. I actually didn't even tell my family about it until last year. It is no longer an open wound, it is a scar. Open wounds hurt ... all the time. When they start scabbing over, what do you do? You peal the scab off. Why? No one knows, it is just a compulsion. You just do it, making your scab an open wound again. No matter what you do to try and cover it up, your open wound is still there. It still hurts and it still haunts you. Once the scab begins to become so much of your skin that you forget it is a scab you stop picking at it as much, but you look at it and still remember why it is there and how it happened and when and exactly what you were doing when it happened. Same way with scars. Scars don't hurt anymore, the memory may hurt for a little while and when you tell the story you may tear up, but you never relive that moment exactly how it happens. Time does heal, just as time heals a physical open wound/scab. This has become a scar. Yet every time I read a story or see a news report about this type of thing happening to women it breaks my heart. I feel for them in a way that some cannot. I do not like that I can relate in that way, yet those are the cards God has metaphorically laid out for me. I have since forgiven said man, but it is still a scar.
A couple of weeks ago a few of us went out to a local pizza place (very near to the 7 year rememiversary - as I call it... don't like calling it an anniversary because it is not something enjoyable to remember). While we were waiting for our table in walks the guy and his family. I started shaking and couldn't catch my breath. I told a girl that was with us, because I needed to tell someone. I just couldn't bear that one alone. He was standing maybe 10 feet away from us. I couldn't look at him. I knew he couldn't do anything to me and not that I thought that he would try. Right after he walked in, one of my guy friends walked in behind him and his family. My friend actually ended up standing where it blocked my view of the guy. My heart raced the entire time we were at dinner. His family was seated before our group, when we were seated I sat where my back was faced to their table and couldn't focus on that the entire time we were there. Even though I have forgiven him, the scar is still there. I still remember what happened, where I was, what I was thinking ... I remember.
This woman is forced to live with the man who attacked her. I cannot imagine the things this woman has gone through or what she is still going through this very day. No one can really understand her pain unless you are living through it. My momentary run in with him has nothing on her everyday life. She doesn't have a chance for this to become a scar, it is forever an open wound.
Really gives you something to think about, doesn't it.
Reading an article today about and Afghan woman being jailed for a "moral crime," the crime you ask? She was raped and became pregnant. She gave birth while in prison. Yes, this really happened. You may have already heard about this, as I am a little behind on things going on in the news these days. But if you haven't here is a link to the article (Click Here). She was pardoned and freed only after agreeing to marry the man who had committed such a heinous crime against her. My thought on this is "that has to be an awful marriage." Can you imagine the distrust and the amount of hatred that is running through the veins of this woman.
Think about if this was you... no seriously, think about it. Your life as you know it stops because you are raped. Then you go to jail because you are considered to be the immoral one here. Then you find out you are pregnant as a result of the whole ordeal. So not only did this happen to you but now you have to carry a baby from an unwanted act against you. You find out after having the baby that you are going to be released from prison on the condition that you marry the man who did this to you and whose baby you had. Now think, how would you feel? How would you feel living day in and day out in a house with this very man? How would you feel living with someone you are supposed to love when you can barely look at them without thinking terrible things about? Put yourself in her shoes long enough to realize that she deals with that pain everyday.
The government in her country sees this as her problem and not the mans. That is what makes me mad. It makes me mad that she is not able to be seen as a victim long enough for her to get help. It also makes me mad that she is probably not the first that this has happened to and she is most definitely not the last.
Having personal experience with this, let me tell you ... living in the same city with the person and being fearful of running into them in public (which happened ... recently - I'll get there in a few words). I never reported what happened to me to police or anyone really. I actually didn't even tell my family about it until last year. It is no longer an open wound, it is a scar. Open wounds hurt ... all the time. When they start scabbing over, what do you do? You peal the scab off. Why? No one knows, it is just a compulsion. You just do it, making your scab an open wound again. No matter what you do to try and cover it up, your open wound is still there. It still hurts and it still haunts you. Once the scab begins to become so much of your skin that you forget it is a scab you stop picking at it as much, but you look at it and still remember why it is there and how it happened and when and exactly what you were doing when it happened. Same way with scars. Scars don't hurt anymore, the memory may hurt for a little while and when you tell the story you may tear up, but you never relive that moment exactly how it happens. Time does heal, just as time heals a physical open wound/scab. This has become a scar. Yet every time I read a story or see a news report about this type of thing happening to women it breaks my heart. I feel for them in a way that some cannot. I do not like that I can relate in that way, yet those are the cards God has metaphorically laid out for me. I have since forgiven said man, but it is still a scar.
A couple of weeks ago a few of us went out to a local pizza place (very near to the 7 year rememiversary - as I call it... don't like calling it an anniversary because it is not something enjoyable to remember). While we were waiting for our table in walks the guy and his family. I started shaking and couldn't catch my breath. I told a girl that was with us, because I needed to tell someone. I just couldn't bear that one alone. He was standing maybe 10 feet away from us. I couldn't look at him. I knew he couldn't do anything to me and not that I thought that he would try. Right after he walked in, one of my guy friends walked in behind him and his family. My friend actually ended up standing where it blocked my view of the guy. My heart raced the entire time we were at dinner. His family was seated before our group, when we were seated I sat where my back was faced to their table and couldn't focus on that the entire time we were there. Even though I have forgiven him, the scar is still there. I still remember what happened, where I was, what I was thinking ... I remember.
This woman is forced to live with the man who attacked her. I cannot imagine the things this woman has gone through or what she is still going through this very day. No one can really understand her pain unless you are living through it. My momentary run in with him has nothing on her everyday life. She doesn't have a chance for this to become a scar, it is forever an open wound.
Really gives you something to think about, doesn't it.
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