Well, if you read the first post Blonde Brain Part I then you know how mentally "blonde" I really am. If you haven't... you should. It will give you a little insight to my craziness. Here are a few recent stories about my Blonde Brain.
Redbox Amnesia
One Friday night I was not feeling very well so I decided to rent a movie, order a pizza, and eat junk food all while laying on my couch. So I ordered my pizza, set up a little station near my couch, and headed out to the Redbox down the street. After perusing the available movies I choose "The Lorax" and "What to Expect When You're Expecting". I paid for the movies. Grabbed a movie, hopped in my car and began driving away. A friend text me and I told them what I was doing and I realized I rented two movies and walked away with one. I was half way to my apartment by this time. I turned around and went back to find my movie was no where to be found. The Redbox showed the movie was not there and the movie wasn't laying on the ground. My only thought was that someone had taken the movie I had paid for. I was hoping whoever the person was would return it in a day and I wouldn't be charged $35 for a movie I still haven't seen. So what did I do? I called the Redbox company. The lady who answered, Amy, was very sweet. I told her what happened and she said the movie was sucked back into the Redbox because it was there for an extended period of time... the best part was I wouldn't be charged for the movie. WOOHOO!!
I'm No Carpenter
Two days later my dad was going to come over and help me hang things up in my apartment. I have lived there for 4-41/2 months and there was nothing on the walls ... sad, but very true, story. I asked my personal Yoda's husband for a drill, which he so graciously let me borrow. My dad came over and began asking me where I wanted things hung up and what tools I had to do the job. -- Have I mentioned that I am in no way shape or form good at making anything look "pretty" when it comes to interior design? Also, I own zero tools and barely know how to use a screw driver. -- So my dad began measuring for me (he had to use a seamstress measure because that is all I own) and we had determined to go get tools from his house after we had measured where I wanted things hung up. I stood there and pretended I knew what he was talking about as he told me what he was doing. He asked me if I had a level. Then he asked me if I had a hammer. Then if I had other things. I looked at him and said, "do I look like I have any of those things? Hello, I assumed the drill bit that was in the drill is what was used for everything!" He laughed at me and began putting his shoes on, that was my cue for us to go to his house and get the appropriate tools for the job. Let's just say I am really glad I did not attempt that on my own. That would be an absolute disaster...
Spunky the Mouse in the Dean B. Ellis Library and Zoo
Almost every night during the week I study with my Chinese friend, Sophia, and my Korean friend, Kate. Last week Sophia and I were sitting in the third floor when we saw this little mouse run by us. We named him Spunky, Spunky the Mouse. We decided we would catch him and release him back into the wild (outside the library). So I crumbled up some of my cookies and made a trail from where he was hiding to an empty trash can we had laid on its side. We went back to doing our homework and Kate joined us for awhile. We told her of sweet little Spunky the mouse and our plan. Kate headed down to a lower level to work on some things and Sophia and I went back to homework. Every now and then we would look up in hopes of seeing Spunky. I noticed he had run into the men's bathroom and was sad because I knew I couldn't go in there and catch him. A librarian walked by soon after we made the discovery of Spunky in the men's bathroom (that is how we knew he was a he). I told the librarian about the mouse being in the men's bathroom. The librarian looked dazed and simply said: "in my 30 years of working here I have never had this as an issue." He continued standing there staring at me. He proceeded to walk into the men's bathroom. We knew he found Spunky when we heard a loud "STOMP!" Sophia and I blame ourselves for the vicious murder of Spunky the Mouse. We miss Spunky.
We picked up the school's newspaper today and noticed an article Library Mouse Stirs Students.
Showing posts with label Blonde Brain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blonde Brain. Show all posts
Monday, October 15, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Blonde Brain Part I
This is by far probably the most light-hearted post I've written since starting this blog, but everyone needs a little laughter. Last night I was recounting some funny moments since moving into my new apartment with one of my best friends. We sat there laughing at how blonde my brain is. No, my hair is not blonde, my brain is blonde... Here are four short funnies, plan to post a few more later:
The Walk of Shame
Last year I bought a car, the first car I have ever had thank you very much! I am so proud of Keisha. She is a great car. However, Keisha doesn't drive without a driver. One day I was rushing around doing somethings I needed to get done at work. Ran out of the office for lunch - I must add that I wasn't paying attention to anything around me and I was texting. I jumped in my car and buckled up, still texting. I looked up and realized, no one is going to drive me to lunch and I was in the passenger seat of my car (face ... palm). Yeah, well done Bailey. So I set all of my things in the floor board and pretended to be getting something out of my car as I slowly forced myself out of the passenger side. This was the walk of shame to the driver's side of the car.
Magical Push Pins
Like I said earlier, my best friend and I just moved into an apartment that was built in the 1950s. The walls are super thick and have a plaster coating. We were told if we want to hang anything on the walls we need to screw through the walls first and then put the nail in, to keep pieces of the wall from chipping off in huge chunks. So what do I do? I get the bright idea to put my wall map up and use push pins. One of the guys helping me move came to the back room where I was. I was standing on the vanity stool trying to push a push pin in the wall. There I was getting frustrated every push pin was bending. Why didn't I stop? Heavens knows... but not me. He walked over and I handed him the push pin, thinking he was going to magically put it in the wall. He set it on my dresser and walked away slightly laughing at me. I asked him what was so funny. He reminded me of what I was told about the walls. It still didn't click... Let's just say that I don't have anything hanging on my walls right now.
The Other Side of the Room
One of the cool things about this apartment is our basic cable is included, so we don't have to go through the hassle of calling, paying, etc. If we were left to it, we wouldn't have cable. But we do, so yay! My personal Yoda (she has been mentioned in a previous post- she disciples me) let me use one of their big TVs until I decide to buy a big one or move halfway around the world where I will not need one. We have two cable cords in our living room. So when the guys were helping me move in, a week before best friend moved in, they put my TV in the living room next to a cable cord. I was so excited that we had basic cable that I wanted to check it right away. It only picked up four channels. So I was thinking that it was super basic cable. Thought to myself, "No big deal, I don't really watch TV anyway." Well one of our neighbors is a good friend of mine. She told me we should be getting almost 100 channels. So a friend helped me move my TV from one side of the room to the other, thinking the cable cord I was using was old and the new cable cord was on the other side. So we were really excited and we turned it on. Still only picking up four channels, what the heck! So a few days later I started playing around with the menu on the TV. I realized there is a cable button on the menu, some sort of toggle setting. So I toggled it over. Lo-and-behold there were almost 100 channels. Our TV is still on that side of the room...
Rain Storm in La-La-Land
There are many things I really enjoy about our apartment, the fact it was built in the 50s is a huge deal to me. Just love that kind of stuff. The windows are also the fun kind! You know what I am talking about... The 1990s hand crank window that no one looks cool trying to roll down. Only in an apartment it is kind of cool. It gives it that cute retro look. Well, until it rains. Then it gives it that freshly rained on look. Because I love these windows so much I began leaving them open anytime I was home. Wide open, all the way cranked. It began looking stormy - side note, I love storms - and I was thinking things were fine because it wasn't actually raining yet. So when it did start raining I walked through to make sure rain wasn't getting in the apartment. We have screens on the windows, after all. Somehow in my head the screens seemed to repel water and keep it outside, I have no idea why. Then it was an all out torrential downpour with large gusts of wind in every which direction. I noticed the drapery in the living room was getting wet so I closed the window and ventured off to my room to get a towel. Walked in my room and realized my room was in the middle of Hurricane Albert. I had no idea what to do. I ran through the house closing all the windows and then tried to clean up the puddles in my room (we have wood floors all through the apartment... did I mention they are they are the original wood boards from the 1950s? No?). Water had been gushing in my room for at least 15 minutes while I was off in La-La-Land. One of my windows is directly above a wall socket where I have things plugged. So I am trying to avoid being electrocuted while turning off the surge protector and cleaning up the aftermath.
Mustard Cream
Although I am not super grouchy when I wake up, I am also not super awake either. When I wake up in the mornings everything is pretty foggy. Kind of like what is described by people coming off hardcore drugs, that is about what I experience in the morning. I have no idea what the heck the noise is that is so consistent and annoying or who I am or whose apartment I have ended up in or why I am so hungry. Maybe that is not the typical drug addicts crash but that is what seems to happen to me when I wake up, especially when it is 6:30 in the morning (I know, I know... so many people wake up earlier than that and are chipper and poop bunnies, whatever). It takes my poor little brain a while to wake up. One morning, recently, I rolled out of bed, showered, and blow dried my hair. Somewhere in between I turned on my hair straightener. I have no recollection of performing this task, but I usually can't remember if I have washed my hair when in the shower (or how many times I just washed my hair). So as I am grabbing my hair straightener to turn it on, from the ceramic side of course, I feel the heat from the straightener. What do I do? Why slam my hand on the straightener to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Mustard does help with burns, they should turn that into a cream. Mustard cream. I would buy that ... wait.
The Walk of Shame
Last year I bought a car, the first car I have ever had thank you very much! I am so proud of Keisha. She is a great car. However, Keisha doesn't drive without a driver. One day I was rushing around doing somethings I needed to get done at work. Ran out of the office for lunch - I must add that I wasn't paying attention to anything around me and I was texting. I jumped in my car and buckled up, still texting. I looked up and realized, no one is going to drive me to lunch and I was in the passenger seat of my car (face ... palm). Yeah, well done Bailey. So I set all of my things in the floor board and pretended to be getting something out of my car as I slowly forced myself out of the passenger side. This was the walk of shame to the driver's side of the car.
Magical Push Pins
Like I said earlier, my best friend and I just moved into an apartment that was built in the 1950s. The walls are super thick and have a plaster coating. We were told if we want to hang anything on the walls we need to screw through the walls first and then put the nail in, to keep pieces of the wall from chipping off in huge chunks. So what do I do? I get the bright idea to put my wall map up and use push pins. One of the guys helping me move came to the back room where I was. I was standing on the vanity stool trying to push a push pin in the wall. There I was getting frustrated every push pin was bending. Why didn't I stop? Heavens knows... but not me. He walked over and I handed him the push pin, thinking he was going to magically put it in the wall. He set it on my dresser and walked away slightly laughing at me. I asked him what was so funny. He reminded me of what I was told about the walls. It still didn't click... Let's just say that I don't have anything hanging on my walls right now.
The Other Side of the Room
One of the cool things about this apartment is our basic cable is included, so we don't have to go through the hassle of calling, paying, etc. If we were left to it, we wouldn't have cable. But we do, so yay! My personal Yoda (she has been mentioned in a previous post- she disciples me) let me use one of their big TVs until I decide to buy a big one or move halfway around the world where I will not need one. We have two cable cords in our living room. So when the guys were helping me move in, a week before best friend moved in, they put my TV in the living room next to a cable cord. I was so excited that we had basic cable that I wanted to check it right away. It only picked up four channels. So I was thinking that it was super basic cable. Thought to myself, "No big deal, I don't really watch TV anyway." Well one of our neighbors is a good friend of mine. She told me we should be getting almost 100 channels. So a friend helped me move my TV from one side of the room to the other, thinking the cable cord I was using was old and the new cable cord was on the other side. So we were really excited and we turned it on. Still only picking up four channels, what the heck! So a few days later I started playing around with the menu on the TV. I realized there is a cable button on the menu, some sort of toggle setting. So I toggled it over. Lo-and-behold there were almost 100 channels. Our TV is still on that side of the room...
Rain Storm in La-La-Land
There are many things I really enjoy about our apartment, the fact it was built in the 50s is a huge deal to me. Just love that kind of stuff. The windows are also the fun kind! You know what I am talking about... The 1990s hand crank window that no one looks cool trying to roll down. Only in an apartment it is kind of cool. It gives it that cute retro look. Well, until it rains. Then it gives it that freshly rained on look. Because I love these windows so much I began leaving them open anytime I was home. Wide open, all the way cranked. It began looking stormy - side note, I love storms - and I was thinking things were fine because it wasn't actually raining yet. So when it did start raining I walked through to make sure rain wasn't getting in the apartment. We have screens on the windows, after all. Somehow in my head the screens seemed to repel water and keep it outside, I have no idea why. Then it was an all out torrential downpour with large gusts of wind in every which direction. I noticed the drapery in the living room was getting wet so I closed the window and ventured off to my room to get a towel. Walked in my room and realized my room was in the middle of Hurricane Albert. I had no idea what to do. I ran through the house closing all the windows and then tried to clean up the puddles in my room (we have wood floors all through the apartment... did I mention they are they are the original wood boards from the 1950s? No?). Water had been gushing in my room for at least 15 minutes while I was off in La-La-Land. One of my windows is directly above a wall socket where I have things plugged. So I am trying to avoid being electrocuted while turning off the surge protector and cleaning up the aftermath.
Mustard Cream
Although I am not super grouchy when I wake up, I am also not super awake either. When I wake up in the mornings everything is pretty foggy. Kind of like what is described by people coming off hardcore drugs, that is about what I experience in the morning. I have no idea what the heck the noise is that is so consistent and annoying or who I am or whose apartment I have ended up in or why I am so hungry. Maybe that is not the typical drug addicts crash but that is what seems to happen to me when I wake up, especially when it is 6:30 in the morning (I know, I know... so many people wake up earlier than that and are chipper and poop bunnies, whatever). It takes my poor little brain a while to wake up. One morning, recently, I rolled out of bed, showered, and blow dried my hair. Somewhere in between I turned on my hair straightener. I have no recollection of performing this task, but I usually can't remember if I have washed my hair when in the shower (or how many times I just washed my hair). So as I am grabbing my hair straightener to turn it on, from the ceramic side of course, I feel the heat from the straightener. What do I do? Why slam my hand on the straightener to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Mustard does help with burns, they should turn that into a cream. Mustard cream. I would buy that ... wait.
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