Daily Fight

For a couple of years I refused to watch the Harry Potter series for personal reasons. As an assignment for work, my boss asked me to be part of a 10 day long summer camp for international high school students. In my agreement to do so I was asked to take 33 students to see the latest Harry Potter movie. So I decided to catch up on the ones I had not seen. Please know I am not suggesting everyone watch these movies. Please deal with God before making any movie choice, especially one with things such as witch craft and violence (the entire series is based off of these two things). However, I must say after watching movies 1-4 there is a huge theme of good vs. evil. Within this battle it becomes very obvious that those on the side of evil have chosen to do so for some form of false promise. These promises include fame, fortune, and power. All of the people that are on the "dark side" have been told by Voldermort (the dark lord) they would receive such things.

Think about todays society. Satanists choose to be satanists because they believe they will get something from it (i.e. fame, fortune, power, etc.). All of which are sorely disappointed in the end. In the movies Voldermort does not die (well, I haven't finished the series but up to this point). Evil is still lurking in the world but believes to be put far enough away that people can go about their lives and live freely. Just like in our world evil never really goes away. We may not look at something and think that it is particularly evil but we also do not realize what those very things are costing us. For example, workaholics do not start out thinking "muahahaha, I am evil and plan to destroy my entire family by completely ignoring them." No, it often begins as a good intention. There is a saying that goes something like this, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." Think about that for a second. Realize that although your intentions may be good to work late every day and be the first person to work and be the bread winner for your family. Realize that your family is missing out on something great, you! You have robbed them of your role in the family (mother, father). See it easily starts out with good intentions and goes sour very quickly. Unlike the movie, where things are very black and white, good and bad, in our world we choose to see things as shades of grey and pushing limits.

Harry on many occasions throws himself in front of others and acts as a savior to those around him. His very life was proof (in the movie) that love conquers all, even death. Harry portrayed a hero but was fairly common to those around him. There is no true spiritual content in the movie, yet I didn't have to dig deep for what I saw either. How you view this movie is up to your own conviction. I will tell you that I do not plan on going to buy these movies, going to the theater dressed in my closest resembling Hogwarts gear or even rehearsing spells that were said in the movie. I do however, understand that this shows a neat picture of spiritual warfare. Evil is something that we have to daily fight off. As Christ followers we are not in bondage to sin, but we sometimes build imaginary prisons for ourselves and tell ourselves that we cannot escape. Until we realize that we have been sitting inside some imaginary fence wearing an imaginary shock collar and whenever we leave that little bondage bubble we are imaginarily shocked. Here is the thing, that is a lie that Satan tells us to get us to believe we cannot be more like Christ. We can be more like Him. We can actively choose everyday to put on the new self and follow Him into battle. Or we can choose to put on the old self and choose to be on the other team.

You only have two options here, follow Christ or don't. Within that same realm of thinking your actions can do one of two things. They can either push people closer to Christ or they can push people away from Him. So what are your actions doing? What are you choosing to do everyday?

Lusting After the Wind

This little shpeal is a hard one for me to write. This one bears a little more of my soul and my heart. Recently I started going to a new Bible study or class at church on Wednesday nights. This class is for young adults and we are studying the book of James. God has used this to teach me much about Himself and what He has called me to. This past week we were going through James 1:12-18, but this part of scripture is not particularly what I want to share with you. A comment was made that I hadn't truly thought about. The guy teaching the class made a statement about lust that I hadn't really ever thought of before. He was talking about when he is at work in the office, he would lust after being somewhere else such as the lake. At that moment I realized that day in and day out I have a major lust issue. I am not content with where I am. I long to be in the mission field a bazillion miles away. Not just long for, but lust after. I want that more than anything. But here is the thing, I have two dreams and sadly lust after both. I lust after marriage and lust after missions.

Wanting something is not bad. The definition of lust (according to Noah Webster's New International Dictionary) is a longing desire; an eagerness to posses or enjoy. Wanting things is not bad, but when that want turns into a longing desire that is eager to posses or enjoy ... when you put that want before your love for God, there in lies the problem.

So, when he made that brief little statement about lusting to be at the lake when he is working, yeah let me tell you ... that hurt. It still is wearing on my heart. My desire to live a godly life, turned to lust? Really, wow ... how did I let that happen? God's word says as we are going we are to make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Christ has called us to live a life that is radically different than what we consider following after God. My heart sank when my friend and teacher made that statement, not just sank but I realized I had turned something God had put in me as a pure desire into something so ... so ... so disgusting and sinful. My heart is to go to a place that most missionaries do not dare dream of. Only 1% of the world's missionaries go to what is known as the 10/40 window. This has been on my heart since Christ draw me to Himself. Uhh! I get so mad at myself when I think about turning a Christ-like desire into something so gross!

Currently I am reading a book called Christian Atheist: Believing in God, but Living as if He Doesn't Exist, one of the chapters is titled When You Believe in God but Don't Think You Can Change. The whole chapter was about how we do not believe God can change us. We do not believe that God is powerful enough to change us to be more like Him and to know Him, which is our ultimate purpose. Here is the thing, knowing Christ and being like Him is what we will be doing for all eternity. If you don't like knowing God or even being Christ like, eternity is going to be miserable. Any how, back on track. Craig Groeschel, the author, goes through what it looks like to change and let things go. I only mention this because, although I caught myself in the act of lusting after a dream I also caught myself thinking that I could not change and that it is something that I would do forever (turn godly things into not so godly things). God can use all things for His glory. Let me say that again, God CAN use all things for His glory. It is not just that He can do it but that He will do it. Although my behavior is sinful, God will make it glorify Himself. So there is a little hope there, but I want to live in a way that is honoring to God and by turning a godly desire into a selfish and lustful one does not seem to be the way to go about that. God can change my lust and bring me back to a place of God glorifying desire. To be completely honest, I am not there yet but am working toward that goal and praying God changes me. A key part of that is it is not just God that does the changing but we have a part to uphold. We have to want it, what do we do when we want something? We go for it. So how am I going to go for it? I am going to labor in prayer and seek God's word for wisdom. I have simply been lusting after the wind rather than running after the God of the universe.

Well, I hope all of this rambling makes some type of sense.  ... oh who knows!

A Heart like David

"O LORD, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart. He does not slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend; in whose eyes a reprobate is despised, but who honors those who fear the LORD; he swears to his own hurt and does not change; he does not put out his money at interest, nor does he take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken."

~ Psalm 15  

 Howdy! Well this has been quite a busy month so far and we are only 8 days in. But, before going to bed tonight I decided to read the two Psalms for today and both of them ... wow! God has convicted me on who I am to be and some major character flaws within myself. It is a little after 11 pm that I am starting to write this and neeeeeeeeeed sleep but I wanted to let this soak in to not only me but anyone who might read this. (I am planning on posting about Psalm 16 as well not sure it will be tonight though). Anyway... to get on with the story.

O LORD, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? 
David asks a question here, which is a very valid question. Who is allowed to abide in the dwelling place of God? Who gets to dwell at His holy hill? Sadly I have not ever just sat down to contemplate such a deep thought. To me, this is a loaded question because it means that most likely the answer will describe someone that is ... well... not me.  But just as David asks the question, he gives an answer.

He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart. 
Well, the word integrity is from the Greek word tummah which means "simplicity," "soundness," "completeness," and is also rendered as "upright," and "perfection." Uh that is a packed word. That word means complete and is rendered as perfection. So the first thing seen here is those that may abide in His tent and dwell at His holy hill are to walk in completeness/perfection. Hmm ... well that isn't hard to do, YEAH RIGHT! The next thing we see is that those who may abide and reside are those who walk with works of righteousness. Now, in case you are unaware, righteousness means justification. Justification is opposed to condemnation. Then we see that those who are able to abide and reside have to speak truth in their heart. So 1. perfection, 2. not condemning, and 3. speaking truth within the heart.
This makes me very thankful that I follow the Lord that paid for all of my sin: past, present, and future. "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." Galatians 2:20. Christ has exchanged His record for those who follow Him. So, if you are a follower of Christ, God looks at you as though you are holy. You have the blood of Jesus Christ on you and have been claimed as one of His. "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1. Those of us following Christ are not to condemn others just as Christ does not condemn us. We are set free from the law of sin and death. He has made us perfect in His eyes and He chooses not to condemn us. The last part here (speaking truth in his heart) I can only take it for what it says. I looked up commentaries and couldn't find anything. But when I read that it makes me think of "This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success." Joshua 1:8. That is a whole different blog post waiting to happen, just saying ... forget how much I love that verse. But think about it, it just reminds me how much I need to be putting God's word into myself. Feeding myself with God's word and less of the world (the book of James has quite a load to say about the world). So those that get to abide in His tent and dwell at His holy hill show perfection, no condemnation, and a constant self in pouring of God's word. 
But wait, there is more!


He does not slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend; in whose eyes a reprobate is despised, but who honors those who fear the LORD; he swears to his own hurt and does not change; he does not put out his money at interest, nor does he take a bribe against the innocent. 
Not going to lie, looking up some of these words I see how much I have to learn. These words hold so much weight and I can barely even grasp the smallest of concepts here. I do, however, understand enough to tell you that this is an awesome yet weighty piece of scripture. This tells that those who are allowed to abide in His tent and dwell at His holy hill do not slander others with their tongue and does not do evil to others and the Lord does not find fault in them. He honors those who fear the LORD, which makes me think he respects his elders (usually they are the ones that fear the Lord and live their lives accordingly). When he loans out money he does not gain from the repayment, doesn't charge others interest for borrowing which also makes me think he is a very willing giver. It also says that he does not take a bribe against the innocent. So to be one that gets to abide in His tent and gets to dwell at His holy hill, this is what it looks like. The man described here lives his life with eternity in mind. This challenges me because it shows me that I do not defalt to eternal minded thinking. Just meaning that my first thoughts are not considering others as higher than myself but I seek self gain more than that of others. This is not a requirement but these are qualifications to some degree to dwell with the King at His holy hill and abiding in His tent. This passage just shows me how much I have to learn and how much I truly need my mind to be transformed daily (Romans 12:2). Sadly, I have to admit that my life doesn't match up to this fully. But God is still shaping me. Every day is another day to make choices to live for Him and to choose to live this life building up heavenly treasure and thinking about eternity. As a girl I struggle with the things that escape my very lips. (Be looking for another post called A Force to be Reckoned With sharing what scripture has to say about taming our tongue). Anyway, there is so much hope in the next line of the Psalm.

He who does these things will never be shaken.
All of this is concluded wonderfully with this statement. God makes us a promise, that if we live our lives selflessly for Him, putting others before ourselves we will never be shaken. All through the Psalms there are passages like this one. Passages that say that He will not let our foot slip and passages that say that we will not be put to shame in following Him. This is an awesome hope to hold on to. Ohhhhhh such a sweet thought!

This was David's heart, to be like God. He did not want to be God but he wanted to be like Him. We were made in the likeness of God. We were made like our Daddy and David wanted to be like his heavenly Daddy. Who could blame him, with a dad like that? Scripture tells us that David was a man after God's own heart. God loved him dearly. In an earlier post I worte about having a Heart like Hannah. David also had a heart to grow closer to the God he loves (present tense because David lives on with Him for all eternity).

Planted by the Water

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;  but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and  night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

~Psalm 1

So I am slightly addicted to Psalms! The writers just pour out their hearts before God and every time I read through them it gives me a heart to do the same. David was said to be a man after God's own heart and he poured out his heart before God. Every complaint, joyous moment, sad day, or uplifting song he poured his heart out like water before the Lord and God still said he was a man after His own heart. I want to be like Christ so I want to know more about this whole thing and am diving right into it.

This Psalm is filled with so much wisdom and packs a heavy punch it shows us a whole new way of thinking about the words success and blessed. It gives us a comparison between righteous and wicked. It gives a great analogy by using nature. So let's look at it with all of that in mind.

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;"
He says blessed is not walking in the counsel of the wicked or standing in the way of sinners or sitting at the seat of scoffers. We are blessed when we walk in the counsel of the righteous and stand in the way of the saints and sitting at the seat of those glorifying Christ. Those things bless us. They make us more like Him so we are blessed to become more like Him. Most the time we look at blessings as things that are monetary or things that are beneficial to us here on earth. This is a completely different blessing. This is an eternal treasure, an eternal blessing. This is a timeless treasure that carries over to our life after ... our life (hmm funny but true). "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Luke 12:34. The next part of this line opens up much more.

"but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and  night."
So the blessed man finds delight in God's word (the law of the Lord). Not only does he delight in it he meditates on it day AND night. When we find delight in something it gives us great pleasure and enjoyment. So the blessed man enjoys the law of the Lord, he enjoys it so much that he is contemplates God's word night and day. Uh I am doing well if I spend time with God once in a day. If I contemplated on this all day long ... night and day, day and night, everyday ... my life, values, everything would be completely different.

"He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers."
In all that he does, he prospers. Wow! This man loves the Lord. He delights in the law of the Lord, he meditates on God's word day and night, and the analogy here is that he is a tree planted by streams of water yielding fruit in due season with its leafs not withering. Dang, awesomeness! The analogy is what gets me here. Think about it, trees need water to grow. If you have ever planted anything you know that you have to keep it watered, but you can't water it too much at one time because you can drown that plant. So a tree that is planted by a constantly flowing body of water is getting fresh water all the time. It is able to take in rich nutrients from that water and grow big and tall and strong. That fresh water pumping through the roots and veins of the tree are producing fruit and keeping the leaves alive. Let's break the analogy down a little more, shall we. Think of that fresh, clean, flowing water as God's word. A man grounded or rooted in God's word is going to have a passion for the things of the Lord. Thus the law of the Lord pumping through his veins. This particular man wants to see the things of God played out in his life. He produces the kind of spiritual fruit we read about in Galatians 5:22-251. He also will want to produce fruit that multiplies into the lives of others in the way of discipleship and sharing Christ with the lost. Right after it talks about yielding fruit in season it says "in all that he does, he prospers." The prosperity here it is talking about has everything to do with spiritual prosperity, hello! he is yielding fruit. Gosh, I want to live planted by streams of water and boy do I want to yield fruit and live a life where my leaves do not wither and I want all that I do to prosper. 


"The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish."
So the man walking in the path of the righteous is prospering. But we see here that "the wicked are not so." The wicked are like chaff. Ok, so chaff (if you didn't know) is " the husk of corn or wheat which was separated from the grain by being thrown into the air, the wind blowing away the chaff, while the grain was saved. The carrying away of chaff by the wind is an ordinary scriptural image of the destruction of the wicked and of their powerlessness to resist God's judgments." (definition pulled from bible.cc). The wicked are basically weeded out of this and will not stand in the judgment. Yeah, those are not my words but God's words. God says that the wicked are driven away and will not stand in the judgment and sinners are not able to stand in the congregation (or in the presence) of the righteous. God knows everything about us. He knows where we go, what we do, what we think, the words that escape our lips ... He knows E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! We cannot escape God. No, you cannot hide under your covers from God. God can still see you. God is the only one who truly knows who the goats are and who the sheep are. We cannot say someone is lost or saved, we are not God which means that we cannot judge others hearts. I do, however, like that in this passage there is no in between and there is only righteous and wicked. There are only two types of people, lost and saved. There is no in between. Do you get that? If the world ends right now and Christ does not know you (Matthew 7:21-23). We all know that God exists. We all have the opportunity to follow Him or reject Him. But we do not usually consider this thought of "does Christ know me?" We live in a place where it is all about us. Our relationships with God often revolve around us more than Christ. We sing songs at church that are touchy feely songs (you know, the kind of songs that make us feel good about ourselves). --Ok so I could go all day on that so ... stopping there before I go on a 5 day tangent -- Any way, the point is if you do not know Christ and you aren't sure if He knows you there is hope. God sent His son to come and die so that we do not have to. It pleased God to crush His own son for the sin of the world. Our sin was paid for by God. He paid our debt. That absolutely blows my mind and I rarely take the time to sit and meditate on the sacrifice that our Lord Jesus Christ made for us. The all knowing, all powerful, loving, merciful, grace giving, just God that we were created for sacrificed the greatest price so that we could have the opportunity to live in eternity with Him. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16). He loved the world so much that He gave His son to die for you. Yes, you. You sitting there reading this right now. You would not give your own child, would you? Really, would you? I highly doubt you would. God gave us hope, our hope is in Him. "The Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish." So it sounds sad but there is a ton of hope! 


Yeah so this is a long one and I pretty much restate the Psalm but there is so much packed into it I just had to. 








1. Galatians 5:22-25: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

The Man in the Yellow House

About 8 months ago driving to work I noticed this older gentlemen sitting on the porch of a yellow house. The next day he was sitting in the same spot. So the day after that, I waved at him. Everyday that I drove to work he was sitting on the porch, he would see the white car and stand up to wave at me. Well, in December the car broke down and I was staying with people on campus to get back and forth to work. So I didn't see the man in the yellow house for about 2 months. I bought my car in February and would see him off and on. The past couple of days on my way to work I have seen him. He is there, waiting on me. He sees my car and stands up, smiles really big and waves. He is there sometimes after work too.

I never thought a simple wave could make someone smile so big or affect someone. But, I see him day after day on my way to work, which is funny because I think he knows that I am late everyday because he is there about 8:13 every morning when I drive by (I have to be at work at 8). Who knew that being faithful to wave at someone a few times could give the waver and the wave such happiness and joy. Even on a bad day if I see him and I wave, it just about turns my mood around because I am doing something that is not about me. many thoughts have run through my head about stopping in the afternoons to talk to him just to say "hey I am the girl that waves" and be able to witness to him. Yet, something stops me. Maybe it is myself, maybe not. But seeing him out there this morning on my way to work just gave me such a leap for joy.

To be honest if I were to have run into this man at Wal-Mart or some other place before I would have started my waving I probably would have just ignored him. But this whole thing has taught me that I tend to do exactly what scripture says not to. So, yes, I am a hypocrite. James 2 talks about the rich man and the poor man. It makes us ask ourselves the question do we love the rich because of how well they present themselves and do we not love the poor because they look dirty or have many needs? I look at this man and when I first started waving I had no emotion one way or the other. The more I see him the more I want to know how I can help him but I haven't helped him and don't even know how. ...now I am rambling anyway.

Go wave, smile, greet someone you don't know.    ... ok, be smart about it though.

Challenging Myself

Morning!

Well, I have been challenging myself some this year. At the beginning of the year I decided I wanted to learn about each of the fruits of the Spirit. But since there are 12 months and not 9 I had to find 3 things to fit in as well. So this is what it looks like:

January- Biblical Womanhood

February- Love

March- Joy

April- Peace

May- Patience

June- Kindness

July- Goodness

August- Faithfulness

September- Gentleness

October- Self-Control

November- Evangelism

December- Focus on Christ

Let me tell you, I have failed at each one of these so far. Now, do not go and feel sorry for me, let me tell you why I say that and what is going on with it. January started out with Biblical Womanhood and it seemed throughout all of January that I was the least feminine and least biblical of women that you could ever meet. February it seemed as if I loved no one at all. March it seemed as if I had no joy. April seemed as if I had no peace. May seemed as if I had no patience. Well now it is June and I am fearful for those around me. But here is the thing, although it seemed as if none of those were characteristics that I was exhibiting, God was building those very things up. So I may feel as if I have failed but God is growing me and teaching me each one of these things.  ...

Also, I started a new challenge for myself for the summer. This summer I am going through the book of Psalms. There are 61 days between June 1 and July 31, you all are smart and probably already knew that but just letting you know my train of thought here. So to make it through the whole thing this summer it averages out to 2.5 Psalms a day. Meaning that I will probably still be in the book of Psalms in August (hello! Have you seen Psalm 119? Just sayin'). However, there is a girl that is going to be going through with me and we are going to meet once aweek to talk about what we have been learning. One thing I want to do through all of this is posting once a week or so about the things I am learning or things I am finding encouraging. A couple of summers ago I went through the book of Psalms and I absolutely loved it! I loved it so much I decided to do it again and with another person. When I did it the first time I saw how my Time Alone With God (TAWG) was transformed and how much more open I was with God. Well, here is to going for it again.

There are so many things I want to write about, yet I do not know where to begin or how to write them. God has been laying much on my heart lately. For many years I have had a heart ... or desire would be a more accurate word, every living person has a heart ... to actively participate in overseas missions. My desire is to move halfway around the world and share Christ with people who would love to kill me for that very thing.

This morning representatives from the Pregnancy Resource Center spoke at church. My immediate thought was, "I could volunteer with them and work with them here for awhile and then move overseas and start a clinic as my ministry to reach women in other countries." But the countries I have been longing to go to do not have need of that. When looking for abortion statistics it is nearly impossible to find any abortions from the middle east. (Well that may not be true, I may not be looking in the right places). But the whole time these women were talking about the P.R.C. all I wanted to do was cry. Every 24 seconds a baby is aborted. So if you multiply that out for one day, everyday an average of 4,000 unborn babies are aborted. That is 1.4 million a year. During the first five weeks of a pregnancy, although the baby is not fully formed it has a heart beat.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you ...
~ Jeremiah 1:5

 God has planned every human life before it has ever begun. He has formed each person. Thinking about this makes me realize how little respect and love I show to God. He, the creator of the universe planned out my life and thought I was important enough to create. Every issue and triumph and thing that has come into my life is a result of the Almighty God. He knew about it all before I was ever even a thought. All God has asked me to do, my whole purpose of being is to know God and make God known. That is all He has asked. In doing those two things all else will fall into place. I am realizing the things I tend to live for are for selfish gain and have absolutely nothing to do with the task the Lord Most High has given me. "Vanities of vanities, 'says the preacher,' all is vanity." Ecclesiastes 1:1. Solomon hit the nail on the head with that one. Think about your day to day. Is what you live for really worth it? I mean seriously look at your life and the things that you do and ask yourself how it helps you accomplish the task that God has given you (to know God and make God known). Yes, there is opportunity with everything: grocery shopping, college classes, jobs, sports, clubs, etc. But are we taking the opportunity to make the most of each opportunity? 

For the first 6 months - year of my job I was not afraid to share the gospel in the office. We then had some things happen where all spiritual everything was pulled from our office. Then a few months later it was all allowed back in. I was still skiddish about sharing with the lost in the office and the people that would be coming in and out of the doors each day, week, semester, and year. As time went on God put a more bold spirit in me. He continued to increase that spirit and currently still is. There have been several students that have heard the gospel  because of the fire Christ lit in my heart, all because I began to count the cost of discipleship and began looking at what it meant to know Him and make Him known. So my day-to-day life ... am I doing things that matter and that advance me toward my purpose of knowing God and making Him known? Or am I too afraid or ashamed of the gospel to step outside of my comfort zone and do things that may be slightly uncomfortable so that others may know Him? God thought I was important enough to create, but do I think God is important enough to serve?