As women we crave to be loved, cared for, held, and valued. We want to be told we are pretty and we want to feel pretty when we are around men. God made us to be different from men for a reason. Women have the role or responsibility to respond to men. Men have the role or responsibility to initiate to women (talking about initiating relationships here). God gave all things a particular order for a reason. To be honest, as a single and rather independent woman I have problems with His order occasionally. And yes, by occasionally I mean usually. I am in the trade of heart breaking, you see. Not the hearts of men, but rather my own heart over and over and over again. Sadly it is a repeating cycle, many times the poor man is unsuspecting and has no idea that I am taking a hammer with a pretty little picture of his face on it and shattering my own heart. Why do I do this? Well, not for fun… that is for sure. This is because I am going outside of God’s designed order and trying to create my own. I am basically saying that waiting for God’s best is taking to long and well, I’ll take that one. Then I realize I have made a mistake and not obeyed Christ and have, once again, shattered my own heart. I am left to pick up the pieces and bring them back to God and with tear filled eyes am begging Him to glue my heart back together.
When I go outside of God’s designed order I mess everything up, not that God cannot bless it, but because it is not what He has intended for me. (Mind you, He is not shocked that I am doing this … He knows all things and knows that I am a major screw up). God made men to want to be the leader. He made them to be the head of the household. When we as women go and try to lead, even by asking a man out on a date, it screws the whole thing up. I have used the excuse, “how will he know I like him back if I don’t show him in some way?” Well, asking him out is not the way to do that … that is for darn sure! When we put the metaphorical “pants” on in that relationship the guy begins to feel as if they are no longer needed as the leader and they fall in to passivity. That is not the way things were intended to be.
“You see when God created male and female He created an object lesson a parable as it where of His entire redemptive plan. Manhood and womanhood, gender, sex, marriage all of those are mini lessons that proclaim the gospel. And when we talk about seeing Christ in the Old Testament we see Christ even in His creation of who He created us to be as male and female. The reason history started with God creating a man and a woman and a marriage, the reason it started with a man, a woman, and a marriage is because it is going to end with a man, a woman, and a marriage. That’s why! It will end when Christ the bridegroom is united with His bride the church and the two become one. This marriage will be consummated throughout eternity. That’s why we have male and female, it’s not about me, it’s not about my husband, and it’s not about you as men and women. It’s about displaying a story. We tell a story by virtue of how we live our lives as men and women.”
- Mary Kassian, the Gospel Coalition, the Feminist Mistake.
There is much more to God’s design then us as women not being allowed to ask a man out on a date or take control of the relationship. God designed it to be a representation of Christ and the love He has for His bride. Honestly, everything comes back to the gospel so this should come as no surprise that marriage is a picture of the gospel. Christ loved the church so much that He was willing to lay His life down for her. When your boyfriend or fiancé or husband thinks that you might be in danger, what do they do? They run to the rescue no matter the cost, even if it may cost them their life. They love you enough to lay their life down for you. It is the gospel.
“We tell the story of the gospel with who we are as male and female. We uphold the gospel and that’s why it matters. … That is why gender is at the epicenter of the battle right now. Because if Satan can mar the image of male and female, what he is maring and what he is obscuring and what he is twisting is the story of the gospel and the display of the gospel.”
- Mary Kassian, the Gospel Coalition, the Feminist Mistake
Does that not shake you up, even just a little? “If Satan can mar the image of male and female, what he is maring and what he is obscuring and what he is twisting is the story of the gospel and the display of the gospel.” There have been many times I have been so curious to know how a guy feels about me that I have wanted to scream and I have wanted to march right up to the man and say, “what the heck is going on here?” or even “what the heck are we?” Yet, I forget somehow if he likes me and if it is what God has planned, God will tell that guy we need to have a conversation and we need to figure things out. Now, I am not saying that we should be pulled around like little puppies on a string forever not knowing and being allowed to be led on, but I am saying if we trivialize what God has set up then we are messing with the whole process. God has set up the gender roles for a reason, even if we don’t like them. The grass is always greener on the other side.
This makes me think about every time I have liked a guy, and then have had my little heart crushed (unsuspected by him) when I find out he doesn’t like me back, or he has another girl in mind that he would like to pursue. There is nothing wrong with liking a member of the opposite sex, but when we take that and turn it into something far more we open ourselves up to heartbreak. When we do not let men be men we are taking away from what God has designed. Here is another personal example (no names used here). I have had many guy friends over the years. During college I can name and count the guys I have had crushes on and how I ended up breaking my own heart when they trusted me with the secret of who they were praying to pursue or finding out I am not the apple of this or that guy’s eye. Yeah, not an easy thing to deal with, but there are more than I want to mention and most of those guys don’t even know that they are “those” guys. When we try to take matters into our own hands and ignore the council given to us, God allows us to fall down. Even though we fall down, He is right there to pick us back up. He does not want us to trivialize the pursuit He has put in place. He sought us out and wants the men to seek us out as well.
Let men be men and let them be the ones to pursue. I write this mainly as a reminder to myself but also to those who are always wishing that this guy or that guy would like them or want to be their boyfriend or what not. It all pretty much boils down to contentment. When we are not content in where God has us we are much less likely to trust Him. When we do not trust Him we are trusting in something else, most likely ourselves. This means that we have made ourselves our own god. Let me tell you, we are not very good gods, that is why God is God. All of that to say, when we do not trust God and we trust ourselves we do what we want to get a result, even if it is not the one we want. In my case (in the past) I wanted to know so badly if this or that guy liked me so I would have other guy friends find out who that guy liked (this would be after months of being agonized by liking whoever the guy was). Yeah, it would come as a huge shock when it wasn’t me. Sometimes I would pray for months that God would show me how the guy felt, when I found out it wasn’t the same as me … well you get the point. God has a specific plan and when we try to make our own plan and ignore His, we get hurt.
No comments:
Post a Comment