There is a sense of relief that comes with knowing you don't have control over certain things.
I am a control freak. Yes, I admit this fault of mine. I like to have control. I like to know the plan, the sequence of events, and all of the details. There is so much stress that comes with all of this control. Things never go according to plan. This causes more stress. Always having to find ways to fix the problems and the holes in the plan. But if you are not in charge of something and you do not know the details, the sequence of events, or even ... the plan, you do not know if something went wrong. You do not know what was out of order or what was supposed to be in what location and that it somehow didn't make it.
Something I have been learning recently is that I am not in control of my life. Not that I have lost control and have become a raging alcoholic ... or something else crazy along those lines. No. I am not the one that dictates the events in my life. I do not decide who gets to come in my life or at what time. I do not get to decide if I am going to live or die today. Things are ultimately out of my control. There is an extrinsic force that decides these things for me. I hope we all know who I am referencing here (answer: the Lord).
Following Christ was not supposed to be easy. From creation to this point, this very moment (whatever moment in time you are reading this), following Christ is not an easy choice. Everyday we are faced with choices to either follow Him or to follow ourselves/the world/etc. Sometimes things do not go the way I want them to or the way I think they should go. This is a lack of understanding on my part, because I do not know the plan. I did not set the world into motion. I have not said to the sun rise and to the moon set. I do not get to be fully in control of my life. There are some things I can control. I can control the words that leave my mouth, the choice in my actions, the way I treat others ...
Control cannot be lost if it cannot actually be had. If I do not have control over my life to begin with, I cannot lose control. It is something I have never had. I cannot control the illnesses I may incur. I cannot control the weather, the actions of others, or pretty much anything like that. My responsibility is my words and my actions. Those things, I have control over. That is it.
There is relief in knowing I do not have complete control. There is relief in knowing I do not have to know the plan. I just follow instructions as they are given to me. Sometimes knowing the bigger picture is more overwhelming than knowing the small task at hand.
Relief doesn't mean it is easy or that it doesn't break your heart from time to time. Relief means that the stress is off of us.
There is a sense of relief that comes with knowing you don't have control over certain things.
